body count: OVER NINE THOUSAAAAND

[alucloset]

[should anybody have the absolutely horrific fortune to be in the kitchen today, they'll find Alucard struggling to cook what looks like... pancakes. or, well, more accurately, a sauce for said pancakes. the cakes themselves are sitting very politely on their plate, piled high and perfectly browned. however, the prolific number of saucepans on the

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[olilium]

[was just... on her way into the kitchen to try and find some more of the soup the kind man gave her - what, she likes food okay - but instead... comes to a halt at the sound of the angry voice, staring at Alucard's back like 'what is he doing i don't even']

... Nyuu?

[alucloset]

[the saucepans on the stove don't help with the question?]

Yes?

[olilium]

[This kid doesn't even how to put on socks without wearing them on her ears, it was a very valid question

However... her interest is captured now not by Alucard, but by that little bird sitting in the breadpan, and her eyes quite literally begin to sparkle with delight OH MY GOD SO SMALL AND CUTE...]

[alucloset]

[... fair enough :D!

the bird peeps up over the edge, sees her staring at it, and utters a sharp trill of curious delight. hello! hello! come here so he can stare at you! he starts to bob up and down in the pan, fluffing and fluffing and fluffing.]

[-which in turn makes Alucard sigh and tuck his gun away. if the proper atmosphere for violence isn't maintained, it's just not the same. he diligently goes back to browning sauces.] And you are?

[payback]

[a small, polite cough, from where she's standing in the kitchen door.]

They look appropriately brown but not caramelized to me.

[alucloset]

[that sound? that's the hammer clicking back.]

How do you tell.

[payback]

Maybe you ought to try eating one.

[alucloset]

[GRUMPY FACE. he STARES at the sauces.] Why don't you.

Birdie in the birdie boiler ~ *cookie for you if you get reference*

[wishmadeinfire]

[Ashura liked to to eat, all right, and that meant that he was in the kitchen fairly often - at least four times a day if he could get in there that much, and at least once a day it was for ice cream. But it was breakfast, so, no ice cream, not yet. He had thought something involving a lot of fruit and cinnamon. Yum.

And then he sees Alucard about to shoot his oven, nooo! He needs that to make the cinnamon rolls out of that little tube!]

Please do not shoot the oven, I need that to make my own breakfast.

[Just speak calmly, no yelling. Azure, his parrot, ruins that mood a bit with a squawk as it flaps over to the bread pan and peaks in, inspecting it's small occupant.]

had to look it up, BUT FELT DUMB ONCE IT WAS PROPERLY REMEMBERED

[alucloset]

[Alucard barely makes a response, aside from the delicate, almost sensual manner in which he slides back the hammer on his gun. three... two... one...]

[the bird in the pan gives a defiant squeak, popping up and down and fluttering his wings. what's up, hello, hello! you're an adult! listen, he'd been babynapped but now he's kind of okay so will you let his mom and dad he's okay and he lives in the windowsill so come and see him!]

Only half a cookie for having to look it up!

[wishmadeinfire]

[Have a hand on the barrel of the gun, a sudden burst of white flame to superheat if not melt it cause, you know, mun doesn't if the guns can be melted or not and wouldn't want to destroy such pretty guns anyway without permission, at least enough to get Alucard's attention and make him not blow up the oven.]

I can see you're angry at it, but let's not destroy it, shall we, and incur the wrath of our host?

[Azure... isn't sure what to think of the baby. On some level he doesn't particularly give a damn, but on another he can't stand beasts eating his kind. It's a sort of looking out for the species thing. So, uh, why should he care?]

niam niam niam~

[alucloset]

[mun would be very cross if the Casull was wantonly melted, yes, not to mention Alucard. he doesn't drop the gun, but he does make a brief startled noise, tossing the hand on his gun a very curious look. attention: gotten!]

Entirely too placid of you. Perhaps if you mustered some anger upwards instead things might move a bit more.

[because this is ONE LOUD BABY. he starts calling and calling and calling, sounding more upset and distressed the longer he's ignored. but he's not about to get eaten, the breadpan is just a makeshift nest.]

[girlyboywonder]

[Totally just on her way to go make a... a something delicious, annndddd pausing in the doorway. Delivering a definite look of wtf, wondering if she should stop him, and... well, it's not like she was going to use the oven, probably.

She'll still try a throat-clear, though.]

Never seen any recipe call for bullets.

[alucloset]

[CLICK. he is going to shoot the hell out of that thing.] You're young yet.

[girlyboywonder]

[...okayokay maybe she should try and stop that, maybe. Other people use the oven, after all. Kinda... edging forward.]

Yeah, well, for such an old spud, you'd think you'd've picked up a few cooking tips.

[alucloset]

[he's not entirely willing to wound a little girl right now, so he holds his fire should she decide to be stupid and fling herself in the way.]

I'd like to see you make a sauce that you last saw being made a few hundred years ago from memory.