mambo no. 16

[fondler]

[ dictated ]Social experiment time

Comments

[onlyanapple]

Try to come up with something as good as mobile phone ringtones.

Why the redheads?

[fondler]

Huh? What's so good about ringtones?

Because! [ hic ] Redheads are hot and we should stick together. ♥

[onlyanapple]

They're pretty high on the human misery stakes.

Oh. Of course. How silly of me. I know a redhead. Back home.

...You probably wouldn't like her.

[fondler]

Human misery...?

I don't get it. Ringtones cause misery?

Ehhh?? Why do you say that? Is she a tomboy?

[onlyanapple]

Don't you find them, say, going off in the cinema extremely irritating?

Sort of. But not at the same time. She's very dangerous.

[fondler]

Oh... Oh yeah! That is pretty annoying.

[ giggle ] I don't know, I kinda like dangerous girls.

[onlyanapple]

My point exactly.

She's the personification of War.

1/2

[fondler]

[ give her a second ] So... that means... you resolve to annoy more people?

[ glug glug ] Haha, feisty!

[fondler]

No... wait, war is bad.

[onlyanapple]

Well done, exactly that.

[Insert a low chuckle here] I'm sure she'd love to hear someone call her "bad".

[fondler]

That's kind of a jerk-y thing to do...

[ giggle ] I'll call her whatever she wants.

[onlyanapple]

It's what I do. My Raison d'être.

Tell me, do you want to be buried or cremated?

[fondler]

You make your living as a jerk?

...huh? What does that have to do with anything?

[onlyanapple]

Yes, actually.

Because should you ever meet her, I have a feeling your life expectancy will drop to a few seconds.

[fondler]

.........

How's the pay?

[ laughter ] Awww, you're joking.

[onlyanapple]

Good enough to leave me extremely well off while I live on Earth.

You can tell yourself that if it makes you feel better.