(no subject)
[Private]
A whole year...
Has it... really been so long? Was I really here last Christmas? Everything that happened, everything I went through... was it really that long ago? It sometimes feels like centuries have passed and then... Sometimes only days. This place - it -
There's - everything back home is... Because I--
...
Asuka's been here longer. So much longer... If she was here when I was before, was she - does that mean she's been here two years? Three? I never even asked... I don't know if I should. Is she happy being here? We don't... We don't have anything to - I have her to go back to but - but what is there to survive on? Survive... for? What is there to even make livable?
Did I make the right choice? Should I have just... ended it all? Should I have-
Mm, no.
No, it doesn't matter now. Whatever... happened there. Whatever is going to happen. It doesn't matter while I'm here. Here, I have... I have friends. Here I have a... an almost normal life. The people here are mostly kind and ... and even though the castle does strange things, sometimes even hurtful things, it still - it still lets me have a - A second chance.
A chance to do things right.
And all I've done is cry and hide and carry on about the things I've done and acting like I had no choice. Misato-san... She would've snapped sense into me. She would've told me I was stupid for acting this way when everything I have is right here... at my fingertips. When everything I could want is right here. Naruto - he's tried to show me, hasn't he? That things could be new and different? That my life... may not be as meaningless as it so often feels? Do I have a purpose here? Do I need one? Or is it a chance to just... be? To just be Shinji? To not be... A failed hero.
This place... It's strange and scary sometimes but... But it's...
It's home.
It will always be home.
[/Private]
Ah - 365 days go by faster than I thought they would. Mm.
[some pots and pans noises as Shinji goes about making some food in ze kitchen because... PenPen... somehow took over his.]
[ooc: SINCE I DIDN'T PLAN ANY KISSING, this is open to any and all, especially for anyone who wants to traumatize poor Shinji by getting too close.]
A whole year...
Has it... really been so long? Was I really here last Christmas? Everything that happened, everything I went through... was it really that long ago? It sometimes feels like centuries have passed and then... Sometimes only days. This place - it -
There's - everything back home is... Because I--
...
Asuka's been here longer. So much longer... If she was here when I was before, was she - does that mean she's been here two years? Three? I never even asked... I don't know if I should. Is she happy being here? We don't... We don't have anything to - I have her to go back to but - but what is there to survive on? Survive... for? What is there to even make livable?
Did I make the right choice? Should I have just... ended it all? Should I have-
Mm, no.
No, it doesn't matter now. Whatever... happened there. Whatever is going to happen. It doesn't matter while I'm here. Here, I have... I have friends. Here I have a... an almost normal life. The people here are mostly kind and ... and even though the castle does strange things, sometimes even hurtful things, it still - it still lets me have a - A second chance.
A chance to do things right.
And all I've done is cry and hide and carry on about the things I've done and acting like I had no choice. Misato-san... She would've snapped sense into me. She would've told me I was stupid for acting this way when everything I have is right here... at my fingertips. When everything I could want is right here. Naruto - he's tried to show me, hasn't he? That things could be new and different? That my life... may not be as meaningless as it so often feels? Do I have a purpose here? Do I need one? Or is it a chance to just... be? To just be Shinji? To not be... A failed hero.
This place... It's strange and scary sometimes but... But it's...
It's home.
It will always be home.
[/Private]
Ah - 365 days go by faster than I thought they would. Mm.
[some pots and pans noises as Shinji goes about making some food in ze kitchen because... PenPen... somehow took over his.]
[ooc: SINCE I DIDN'T PLAN ANY KISSING, this is open to any and all, especially for anyone who wants to traumatize poor Shinji by getting too close.]