Quasi deja vu...
So there's this girl, this trainee at the store I'm helping to open. From the start, she's looked familiar to me... sort of. Not in that "I've seen you before" way that the very word "familiar" typically suggests, but more... fuck, I dunno how to describe it.
I guess what's been lacking has been any real emotional connection. Or maybe it's that her hair is this coppery, clearly artificial color that has nothing to do with the aforementioned familiarity.
Haven't thought much about it. She's not in my little training group, so our exposure has been limited. And I've had SO many other things on my mind.
Anyway, today I had to deal directly with her for a few minutes. Face-to-face conversation, trading ideas and such, and still the deja vu thing is so mild that I'm not consciously thinking about it very hard. And then it hits me despite the lack of effort.
Aimee Rene Foster. Like, back when I knew her, some 15 years ago. Aimee, with funny-colored hair.
Have you ever lacked an emotional response to an event, and that very lack CREATES its own emotion? I was utterly delighted to look at this reincarnation of someone I'd been so twisted-up over, back in the day, and to feel not much more than a sort of "oh, that's cute" response.
Of course, it did start me on another pell mell tumble down Memory Cliff. Okinawa, Florida, faces and moments and shit like that. Mostly good times. Good or bad, I wouldn't trade'em for a million bucks and a box of chocolates.
Guess I'm still a little surprised to discover that I don't miss Aimee at all anymore. I don't even mean that in any bad way. I loved her, and were we still within one another's social spheres, I'd likely still love her in some form or another. But it's a happy thing to have this girl that you've made a habit of mourning, and to wake up one day and realize that while your mind was elsewhere, the longing finally withered and died.
I generally thank my wife for this. We haven't always been happily married, but I think we are now. At any rate, I am. And that's fucking priceless.
And now... some fun!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4602664679370808192&q=gin+juice&total=887&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2
I guess what's been lacking has been any real emotional connection. Or maybe it's that her hair is this coppery, clearly artificial color that has nothing to do with the aforementioned familiarity.
Haven't thought much about it. She's not in my little training group, so our exposure has been limited. And I've had SO many other things on my mind.
Anyway, today I had to deal directly with her for a few minutes. Face-to-face conversation, trading ideas and such, and still the deja vu thing is so mild that I'm not consciously thinking about it very hard. And then it hits me despite the lack of effort.
Aimee Rene Foster. Like, back when I knew her, some 15 years ago. Aimee, with funny-colored hair.
Have you ever lacked an emotional response to an event, and that very lack CREATES its own emotion? I was utterly delighted to look at this reincarnation of someone I'd been so twisted-up over, back in the day, and to feel not much more than a sort of "oh, that's cute" response.
Of course, it did start me on another pell mell tumble down Memory Cliff. Okinawa, Florida, faces and moments and shit like that. Mostly good times. Good or bad, I wouldn't trade'em for a million bucks and a box of chocolates.
Guess I'm still a little surprised to discover that I don't miss Aimee at all anymore. I don't even mean that in any bad way. I loved her, and were we still within one another's social spheres, I'd likely still love her in some form or another. But it's a happy thing to have this girl that you've made a habit of mourning, and to wake up one day and realize that while your mind was elsewhere, the longing finally withered and died.
I generally thank my wife for this. We haven't always been happily married, but I think we are now. At any rate, I am. And that's fucking priceless.
And now... some fun!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4602664679370808192&q=gin+juice&total=887&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2