I am sometimes very confused
You know, I am a fanastic person. I help the needy; I fight for justice; I try do to what's right, but sometimes I just feel like I am totally innadequate. I guess that's just part of who I am. I will always feel like no matter what I do, it will never be enough. That's part of why I'm so successful. I have to keep going, keep striving to be better, keep working to be better. You know, that can be very tiring. Last night Neil and I had a talk. I just broke down crying, and I couldn't really explain why. Neil kept pushing me for an answer, but I just couldn't deliver one. I just sat there, trying to get out of talking to him. But he knew better than to just let me off. He knew that I needed to talk, to get it out. Here's what I got from our conversation:
1. Sometimes people are treated in ways that they don't deserve. We don't always know how to deal with that. We have many coping mechanisms including over indulging in things, becoming reclusive, and becoming extremely self destructive. No matter how we choose to deal with things, if we're not productive about how we deal with stress, it can become overwhelming and take over our lives.
2. with out someone to love, some one who loves us too, we can feel very lost. We don't need a significant other, but we do need a real friend. We need some one to help us be better than who we once were. Some one who isn't selfish or unkind. We need some one to be patient with us, cherish us, and nuture our strengths.
3. When we find that special person, it can be hard to trust them. We often question those around us, their motives, and their desires. We have to learn to quiet our fears, and be still. We must trust those who have never given us a reason to be distrustful.
4. Love is a powerful emotion. It can make people do crazy things, and with out logic, love is just insainity.
5. We can't explain everything. Sometimes we have to just accept that things are the way they are, but we also have to be careful that we don't become complacent.
6. I must learn to love myself above all others. I must learn that I really am a fantastic person, that I really do excell at all that I do. I am worthy of all that I have, that I have worked very hard to overcome my past. What has happened to me, I don't deserve. My future will be filled with greatness, and all that I have worked so hard for will come to fruition, and I will be happy.
You see, I talk about Neil a lot on here, because he is my rock. He is my light. There is no other man like him alive. The love we share is unlike any I have ever encountered. I have seen love that lasts a lifetime, and love that burns with a great passion, but ours is somehow different to me. It's a deep and spiritual connection on my side. Neil and I don't tell each other that we are in love, but anyone who would look upon us would know that I think he is the most amazing man alive, and I love him with all my heart. I hope to spend the rest of my life with him. It's conversations like the one I just mentioned that makes me love him even more every day. I don't think he knows, or will ever realize how powerful he is. The healing power he possesses is remarkable. He's very charismatic, but it's not just that. He's my passion, my life, my joy, my best friend. I hope one day to be able to repay all the kindness and wisdom he has bestowed upon me. I am the luckiest woman on earth to be able to call him mine.
I Love Him.
1. Sometimes people are treated in ways that they don't deserve. We don't always know how to deal with that. We have many coping mechanisms including over indulging in things, becoming reclusive, and becoming extremely self destructive. No matter how we choose to deal with things, if we're not productive about how we deal with stress, it can become overwhelming and take over our lives.
2. with out someone to love, some one who loves us too, we can feel very lost. We don't need a significant other, but we do need a real friend. We need some one to help us be better than who we once were. Some one who isn't selfish or unkind. We need some one to be patient with us, cherish us, and nuture our strengths.
3. When we find that special person, it can be hard to trust them. We often question those around us, their motives, and their desires. We have to learn to quiet our fears, and be still. We must trust those who have never given us a reason to be distrustful.
4. Love is a powerful emotion. It can make people do crazy things, and with out logic, love is just insainity.
5. We can't explain everything. Sometimes we have to just accept that things are the way they are, but we also have to be careful that we don't become complacent.
6. I must learn to love myself above all others. I must learn that I really am a fantastic person, that I really do excell at all that I do. I am worthy of all that I have, that I have worked very hard to overcome my past. What has happened to me, I don't deserve. My future will be filled with greatness, and all that I have worked so hard for will come to fruition, and I will be happy.
You see, I talk about Neil a lot on here, because he is my rock. He is my light. There is no other man like him alive. The love we share is unlike any I have ever encountered. I have seen love that lasts a lifetime, and love that burns with a great passion, but ours is somehow different to me. It's a deep and spiritual connection on my side. Neil and I don't tell each other that we are in love, but anyone who would look upon us would know that I think he is the most amazing man alive, and I love him with all my heart. I hope to spend the rest of my life with him. It's conversations like the one I just mentioned that makes me love him even more every day. I don't think he knows, or will ever realize how powerful he is. The healing power he possesses is remarkable. He's very charismatic, but it's not just that. He's my passion, my life, my joy, my best friend. I hope one day to be able to repay all the kindness and wisdom he has bestowed upon me. I am the luckiest woman on earth to be able to call him mine.
I Love Him.