Absence and the Heart (1/10)
Media: Fanfic
Title: Absence and the Heart (1/10)
Rating: PG
Pairings: Klaine
Other Characters: Wes, Jeff, Nick, and all the other named Warblers (because I'm not ready to let them go yet)
Spoilers: Up to s2e18, with some speculation of that scene in e19
Warnings: Fluff, angst
Word Count: 1,390 approx
Summary: Blaine copes with the first ten days of not having Kurt around every moment of the day; the Warblers cope with Blaine.
Runs concurrent with Fonder Have I Grown - Chapter 1
Absence and the Heart
Wednesday
“I’m never saying goodbye to you”
Blaine… dapper, charming lead singer of the Warblers, the guy who always knows the right thing to say in every moment, is at a loss for words. They’re currently all stuck in his throat, smothered by tears, and he knows that if he tries to speak, he’ll only croak, and the floodgates will open and he’ll never be able to stop the tears from overflowing.
So instead he simply clings to this boy, this magical, wonderful boy of his, a little longer before pulling back and taking him in, from those what-color-were-they-anyway eyes to the white Doc Martens on his feet - and he just looks breathtaking, so breathtaking that Blaine wants to grab him by the lapels and drag him back to Dalton.
It’s silly, he thinks, for him to feel this way. They WILL have each other after school and on weekends, just like he said, but he knows that won’t always be the case. They’ll both have homework some days - and oh god, how is he going to do homework without Kurt there to cuddle against? - and they (he) will have other friends they’ll (he’ll) want to spend time with… and he knows there’s no way New Directions will ever go to Nationals without Kurt.
The tears feel like they’re burning a path through his eyes. No. He’s not going to cry here. This is Kurt’s day and Kurt’s moment and he’s not going to ruin it by being a possessive cry-baby, especially since he’d been nothing but supportive about Kurt returning here.
But saying that he supported Kurt going back, and dealing with the actual knowledge that hey, Kurt’s not going to be around every day anymore, are two completely different things.
He should probably say something to Kurt, anything, a word or even a syllable to let him know that things are going to be okay, but Kurt has already beat him to it, and Kurt was always the strong one. Not him. So he turns and quickly goes up the steps.
Past the gentle touches a couple of the other Warblers place on his shoulder, he can feel Kurt’s gaze burn into his back. By the time he stops and turns around though, Kurt has been surrounded and enveloped in the arms of his New Directions family.
Family, he thinks. Seems like he’s never destined to have one. He envies Kurt. Kurt has two.
Hurrying up the rest of the stairs, he crosses the parking lot with the rest of the Warblers. So far, so good. The tears are still being held at bay.
“Blaine, David, Trent, with me.” Wes quickly splits up the Warblers between their few cars.
He climbs into the back seat of Wes’ SUV and huddles against the door, grateful that Wes picked two of the more quiet Warblers to ride with them. He’s not in the mood for Thad’s incessant chatter or Jeff and Nick’s verbal sparring… which is probably why Wes has them paired up the way he has. He lets David drive and sits with Blaine in the back seat.
Halfway into the drive back to Dalton, the tears finally break free and run down his cheeks. If the others in the car hear him sniffing, they say nothing. Trent shoots him only one worried glance. Wes hands him a couple of tissues which he accepts gratefully, and uses them to blow his nose. There’s no use wiping his cheeks because the tears just keep coming.
He doesn’t notice David’s vice-like grip on the steering wheel, or Trent dabbing at the corner of his eyes, or Wes resting a hand near him in case he needs it.
When they finally stop at Dalton, Blaine all but tumbles out of the car and dashes inside the building. The rest of the Warblers watch him go, their moods as sombre as their navy blazers. For once no one cracks a joke or makes a light-hearted comment about upcoming classes. None of them go after Blaine.
There’s nothing they can do for him but let him cry it out. Words would be too shallow and they know that he already knows everything they could possibly say. They try to make everything else easier for him though. Nick informs his teachers that Blaine’s not feeling well; Wes makes notes for him and collects all his coursework.
Jeff brings him a sandwich and a mug of hot chocolate later at night when he doesn’t show up for dinner. The blond is a little surprise to find that at least he’s showered and changed - into navy Dalton sweatpants and a white t-shirt - before flopping face-down onto his bed. He sets the plate and mug down on the desk and sits on the bed beside his pillow.
Blaine’s thankful that Jeff doesn’t mind when he shifts and rests his head in the blond’s lap. Jeff only smiles sadly and rubs his arm, saying nothing about the damp mess of curls or the puffy red eyes.
“Feel up to eating?” he asks quietly.
“Maybe later,” Blaine replies.
“Have you called him?”
Blaine just hands him his phone and Jeff scrolls through the messages.
4.52pm From Blaine:
How was your first day? I miss you.
5.08pm From Kurt:
It was great! Sang. So happy to be back! Must run.
New Directions reunion dinner at Breadstix tonight. I have nothing to wear!
Call you at 9.
5.13pm From Blaine:
Go have fun :)
6.27pm From Kurt:
Driving. Thanks!
Jeff glances at the clock and sees it’s past 10pm. He doesn’t know what to say, but tries anyway. “Maybe they’re still celebrating. Or he got home and crashed. It’s been a long, eventful day for him.”
“Maybe.” Blaine sits up and scrubs at his face. “Is that hot chocolate?”
Jeff passes him the mug. “Chocolate cures everything… at least for a little while.”
=====
Thursday
He wakes up at the usual time, and at first he gets up in the same rush, telling himself he needs to hurry up and get dressed because he needs to pick up coffees for him and Kurt. Reality kicks him in the gut and tells him Kurt’s not there anymore. He makes a mental note to set his alarm for half an hour later and reaches for his phone.
7.18am From Kurt:
Sorry I didn’t call last night. Got home pretty late and crashed. Figured you might be asleep.
Didn’t want to disturb you.
7.28am From Blaine:
Good morning! It’s alright.
Hope you have a good day at school
Meet after, Lima Bean? Need a caffeine fix :)
7.34am From Kurt:
Sorry, can’t make it today.
Rachel in crisis. I’m their last hope.
7.37am From Blaine:
Oh, ok. Good luck with that
I miss you
He tosses the phone onto the bed and spends the next 30 minutes under the shower hoping the icy cold water will numb the burning in his heart and eyes. He’s never been so glad for the warmth of his blazer.
Some of the Warblers are surprised when he arrives on time for the first class of the day. Trent sits next to him, but doesn’t ask how he is. Blaine’s grateful for his company. Classes give him something to focus on and are a good distraction from the missing presence that he knows they all feel. He doesn’t look at his phone for the rest of the day.
His Science professor assigns them a rather challenging weekend project due on Monday. He wonders if he’ll have the time to work on it.
He skips Warblers practice under the pretext of needing to catch up on the homework he missed yesterday. No one calls him on it. In fact, Wes cancels practice for the day, telling everyone to rest and recharge themselves so they can start fresh tomorrow.
Blaine joins some of them at dinner, but only has a sandwich. Later that night, Jeff brings him another hot chocolate and a book.
“I heard reading can help you sleep,” he explains, handing him the library copy of Watership Down. “Thought you might like rabbits.”
“Thanks.”
He reads about rabbit society - and wow, he had no idea how violent some of it was - till he falls asleep and dreams of a beautiful light brown hare with the most piercing what-color-were-they-anyway eyes.
=====
Chapter 2
Feedback is loved and appreciated :D
Title: Absence and the Heart (1/10)
Rating: PG
Pairings: Klaine
Other Characters: Wes, Jeff, Nick, and all the other named Warblers (because I'm not ready to let them go yet)
Spoilers: Up to s2e18, with some speculation of that scene in e19
Warnings: Fluff, angst
Word Count: 1,390 approx
Summary: Blaine copes with the first ten days of not having Kurt around every moment of the day; the Warblers cope with Blaine.
Runs concurrent with Fonder Have I Grown - Chapter 1
Absence and the Heart
Wednesday
“I’m never saying goodbye to you”
Blaine… dapper, charming lead singer of the Warblers, the guy who always knows the right thing to say in every moment, is at a loss for words. They’re currently all stuck in his throat, smothered by tears, and he knows that if he tries to speak, he’ll only croak, and the floodgates will open and he’ll never be able to stop the tears from overflowing.
So instead he simply clings to this boy, this magical, wonderful boy of his, a little longer before pulling back and taking him in, from those what-color-were-they-anyway eyes to the white Doc Martens on his feet - and he just looks breathtaking, so breathtaking that Blaine wants to grab him by the lapels and drag him back to Dalton.
It’s silly, he thinks, for him to feel this way. They WILL have each other after school and on weekends, just like he said, but he knows that won’t always be the case. They’ll both have homework some days - and oh god, how is he going to do homework without Kurt there to cuddle against? - and they (he) will have other friends they’ll (he’ll) want to spend time with… and he knows there’s no way New Directions will ever go to Nationals without Kurt.
The tears feel like they’re burning a path through his eyes. No. He’s not going to cry here. This is Kurt’s day and Kurt’s moment and he’s not going to ruin it by being a possessive cry-baby, especially since he’d been nothing but supportive about Kurt returning here.
But saying that he supported Kurt going back, and dealing with the actual knowledge that hey, Kurt’s not going to be around every day anymore, are two completely different things.
He should probably say something to Kurt, anything, a word or even a syllable to let him know that things are going to be okay, but Kurt has already beat him to it, and Kurt was always the strong one. Not him. So he turns and quickly goes up the steps.
Past the gentle touches a couple of the other Warblers place on his shoulder, he can feel Kurt’s gaze burn into his back. By the time he stops and turns around though, Kurt has been surrounded and enveloped in the arms of his New Directions family.
Family, he thinks. Seems like he’s never destined to have one. He envies Kurt. Kurt has two.
Hurrying up the rest of the stairs, he crosses the parking lot with the rest of the Warblers. So far, so good. The tears are still being held at bay.
“Blaine, David, Trent, with me.” Wes quickly splits up the Warblers between their few cars.
He climbs into the back seat of Wes’ SUV and huddles against the door, grateful that Wes picked two of the more quiet Warblers to ride with them. He’s not in the mood for Thad’s incessant chatter or Jeff and Nick’s verbal sparring… which is probably why Wes has them paired up the way he has. He lets David drive and sits with Blaine in the back seat.
Halfway into the drive back to Dalton, the tears finally break free and run down his cheeks. If the others in the car hear him sniffing, they say nothing. Trent shoots him only one worried glance. Wes hands him a couple of tissues which he accepts gratefully, and uses them to blow his nose. There’s no use wiping his cheeks because the tears just keep coming.
He doesn’t notice David’s vice-like grip on the steering wheel, or Trent dabbing at the corner of his eyes, or Wes resting a hand near him in case he needs it.
When they finally stop at Dalton, Blaine all but tumbles out of the car and dashes inside the building. The rest of the Warblers watch him go, their moods as sombre as their navy blazers. For once no one cracks a joke or makes a light-hearted comment about upcoming classes. None of them go after Blaine.
There’s nothing they can do for him but let him cry it out. Words would be too shallow and they know that he already knows everything they could possibly say. They try to make everything else easier for him though. Nick informs his teachers that Blaine’s not feeling well; Wes makes notes for him and collects all his coursework.
Jeff brings him a sandwich and a mug of hot chocolate later at night when he doesn’t show up for dinner. The blond is a little surprise to find that at least he’s showered and changed - into navy Dalton sweatpants and a white t-shirt - before flopping face-down onto his bed. He sets the plate and mug down on the desk and sits on the bed beside his pillow.
Blaine’s thankful that Jeff doesn’t mind when he shifts and rests his head in the blond’s lap. Jeff only smiles sadly and rubs his arm, saying nothing about the damp mess of curls or the puffy red eyes.
“Feel up to eating?” he asks quietly.
“Maybe later,” Blaine replies.
“Have you called him?”
Blaine just hands him his phone and Jeff scrolls through the messages.
4.52pm From Blaine:
How was your first day? I miss you.
5.08pm From Kurt:
It was great! Sang. So happy to be back! Must run.
New Directions reunion dinner at Breadstix tonight. I have nothing to wear!
Call you at 9.
5.13pm From Blaine:
Go have fun :)
6.27pm From Kurt:
Driving. Thanks!
Jeff glances at the clock and sees it’s past 10pm. He doesn’t know what to say, but tries anyway. “Maybe they’re still celebrating. Or he got home and crashed. It’s been a long, eventful day for him.”
“Maybe.” Blaine sits up and scrubs at his face. “Is that hot chocolate?”
Jeff passes him the mug. “Chocolate cures everything… at least for a little while.”
=====
Thursday
He wakes up at the usual time, and at first he gets up in the same rush, telling himself he needs to hurry up and get dressed because he needs to pick up coffees for him and Kurt. Reality kicks him in the gut and tells him Kurt’s not there anymore. He makes a mental note to set his alarm for half an hour later and reaches for his phone.
7.18am From Kurt:
Sorry I didn’t call last night. Got home pretty late and crashed. Figured you might be asleep.
Didn’t want to disturb you.
7.28am From Blaine:
Good morning! It’s alright.
Hope you have a good day at school
Meet after, Lima Bean? Need a caffeine fix :)
7.34am From Kurt:
Sorry, can’t make it today.
Rachel in crisis. I’m their last hope.
7.37am From Blaine:
Oh, ok. Good luck with that
I miss you
He tosses the phone onto the bed and spends the next 30 minutes under the shower hoping the icy cold water will numb the burning in his heart and eyes. He’s never been so glad for the warmth of his blazer.
Some of the Warblers are surprised when he arrives on time for the first class of the day. Trent sits next to him, but doesn’t ask how he is. Blaine’s grateful for his company. Classes give him something to focus on and are a good distraction from the missing presence that he knows they all feel. He doesn’t look at his phone for the rest of the day.
His Science professor assigns them a rather challenging weekend project due on Monday. He wonders if he’ll have the time to work on it.
He skips Warblers practice under the pretext of needing to catch up on the homework he missed yesterday. No one calls him on it. In fact, Wes cancels practice for the day, telling everyone to rest and recharge themselves so they can start fresh tomorrow.
Blaine joins some of them at dinner, but only has a sandwich. Later that night, Jeff brings him another hot chocolate and a book.
“I heard reading can help you sleep,” he explains, handing him the library copy of Watership Down. “Thought you might like rabbits.”
“Thanks.”
He reads about rabbit society - and wow, he had no idea how violent some of it was - till he falls asleep and dreams of a beautiful light brown hare with the most piercing what-color-were-they-anyway eyes.
=====
Chapter 2
Feedback is loved and appreciated :D