A Post I'll Regret Later
An old friend came to visit, down from Chicago. She and her fiancee are trying to convince me to move up there. Maybe I will.
I like Tennessee. I think it's beautiful, and I think the people are friendly. I just...feel kinda restless. It's hard for me to find people I can identify with, collaborate with, talk with. Everyone's friendly, sure, and amiable chit-chat of the soft variety is easy to come by-- the weather, movies, television-- but sometimes I need something more. I like deep conversation that lasts hours, on topics obscure and theoretical, and it's hard to get into controversy amongst people so polite. I like some edge to my conversation!
Despite this preamble, though, I have to admit (shyly) that my desire to leave has a lot to do with my difficulty in finding a gal I can "settle down" with. The kind of girls I meet tend to be good Christian girls (not surprising in the Bible Belt South) whom I consider awesome, though who, in turn, consider me an atheist heathen who will burn in Hell. Nevermind the fact that I'm a good person, and try to live a good life- following the "golden rule" and all that. Around here, it's simply a requirement that you believe the Bible word-for-word, and I just can't. (And unlike some guys I know, I'm not going to fake it just to get chicks.)
But living here, and not being a born-again evangelical Christian, you kinda feel like the naive outsider. Like everyone is going down that same path together, and sorta trying to drag you along out of friendliness and duty, but all the same shaking their heads at your misguided life. I know that isn't exactly the case, but it's hard not to feel that way. It's hard to feel like the whole WORLD isn't that way. Sure, I've dated "bad girls," and girls who claimed to be atheist, or "just spiritual" or, good grief, even "wiccan," but around here, that's more of a rebellion than a belief system. I think a lot of these girls just want to *not be christian.* It isn't that they have some strong secular belief system-- that they've really thought it through-- they're just looking for any way to rebel against the system. And here, "the system" is Christian Fundamentalism. In most ways, then, I find them much, much more tiring than Christian girls, who though they believe in different things than I do, they at least believe something. (Something other than partying all the time, and what kind of clothes they need to buy.)
Now, this isn't to say I don't understand where these Christian gals are coming from when they dismiss me as a potential dude to date-- I get that they want to live their life with someone who's going down the same road they are and all that.** I don't think they should rearrange their standards or anything. (Their standards are part of why I like them, anyway.) It's just not very helpful to my personal search, and it's emotionally exhausting to boot.
So! Then I have friends visit me from the heathen north, and I realize that, no, the whole world isn't like that. There are some parts of the country where they don't even ASK you what church you attend, if any. That's what I want. I want to live someplace where people may have religious belief, but I'm not immediately vetted because of my lack of it... if that makes sense.
So! Criteria for Charlie Emigration: friendly people, secular tolerance, some kind of art scene, a hiking trail or two, and good public transportation. I don't neccesarily like big cities, but would be willing to live near one. I know I've taken suggestions in the past, but I don't think I've ever thrown down any criteria. So...suggestions?
-Charlie
**Of course, it could just be that I'm ugly and I suck, but that can't be the case because I'm totally awesome.
I like Tennessee. I think it's beautiful, and I think the people are friendly. I just...feel kinda restless. It's hard for me to find people I can identify with, collaborate with, talk with. Everyone's friendly, sure, and amiable chit-chat of the soft variety is easy to come by-- the weather, movies, television-- but sometimes I need something more. I like deep conversation that lasts hours, on topics obscure and theoretical, and it's hard to get into controversy amongst people so polite. I like some edge to my conversation!
Despite this preamble, though, I have to admit (shyly) that my desire to leave has a lot to do with my difficulty in finding a gal I can "settle down" with. The kind of girls I meet tend to be good Christian girls (not surprising in the Bible Belt South) whom I consider awesome, though who, in turn, consider me an atheist heathen who will burn in Hell. Nevermind the fact that I'm a good person, and try to live a good life- following the "golden rule" and all that. Around here, it's simply a requirement that you believe the Bible word-for-word, and I just can't. (And unlike some guys I know, I'm not going to fake it just to get chicks.)
But living here, and not being a born-again evangelical Christian, you kinda feel like the naive outsider. Like everyone is going down that same path together, and sorta trying to drag you along out of friendliness and duty, but all the same shaking their heads at your misguided life. I know that isn't exactly the case, but it's hard not to feel that way. It's hard to feel like the whole WORLD isn't that way. Sure, I've dated "bad girls," and girls who claimed to be atheist, or "just spiritual" or, good grief, even "wiccan," but around here, that's more of a rebellion than a belief system. I think a lot of these girls just want to *not be christian.* It isn't that they have some strong secular belief system-- that they've really thought it through-- they're just looking for any way to rebel against the system. And here, "the system" is Christian Fundamentalism. In most ways, then, I find them much, much more tiring than Christian girls, who though they believe in different things than I do, they at least believe something. (Something other than partying all the time, and what kind of clothes they need to buy.)
Now, this isn't to say I don't understand where these Christian gals are coming from when they dismiss me as a potential dude to date-- I get that they want to live their life with someone who's going down the same road they are and all that.** I don't think they should rearrange their standards or anything. (Their standards are part of why I like them, anyway.) It's just not very helpful to my personal search, and it's emotionally exhausting to boot.
So! Then I have friends visit me from the heathen north, and I realize that, no, the whole world isn't like that. There are some parts of the country where they don't even ASK you what church you attend, if any. That's what I want. I want to live someplace where people may have religious belief, but I'm not immediately vetted because of my lack of it... if that makes sense.
So! Criteria for Charlie Emigration: friendly people, secular tolerance, some kind of art scene, a hiking trail or two, and good public transportation. I don't neccesarily like big cities, but would be willing to live near one. I know I've taken suggestions in the past, but I don't think I've ever thrown down any criteria. So...suggestions?
-Charlie
**Of course, it could just be that I'm ugly and I suck, but that can't be the case because I'm totally awesome.