Unwanted visitors
My roommate and I have had an unwanted guest living in our garage for quite some time. This guest is small enough to be inconspicuous to the common eye but large enough to give me the heebie jeebies, has a shiny black bottom decorated with a red hour glass. Her name's Gertrude which seemed fitting for a creature who murders her husband and then enjoys the hours of spinsterhood. Regardless, Gertrude is often seen behind the door in the streams of cobwebs she's decorated the place in, and then sometimes she's not there which makes me think she's probably somewhere read to jump down my shirt and murder me mercilessly. Well, maybe not, but her disappearance is unnerving. I prefer to know right where my enemies are. Now, granted, I am okay with my arachnids and usually perform the usual Buddhist ceremony of cupping them in a paper towel and freeing them to the outdoors unharmed. Gertrude, however, is exempt from this rule, because she's hideous and just give me the CREEPS. Naturally, my sweet, endearing roommate is useless in this situation (bless her heart, she'll probably read this) so the duty of extermination is left up to me. Now, I'm in a dilemma which I leave up to the reader to assess. I have considered letting her remain in our garage out of pure fear and avoidance, I have also bought insect spray which I was intending to spray and then run out of the garage screaming like a little girl and flailing my arms. Or, really, my most favorite plan was to employ some manly man who's in desperate need of proving his testosterone level to free Gertrude into spider hell in whatever way seems fit. So naturally, I'm posting this for volunteers. Oh come on, you know you want to get your revenge. I'll cheer from the sidelines and provide lemonade. Any takers? Anyone?
*****Note to self and readers...I have now managed to waste 15 minutes of my life during finals week when I should have been studying and writing essays, writing a diatribe about our resident arachnid. This is when you know you're good.***
*****Note to self and readers...I have now managed to waste 15 minutes of my life during finals week when I should have been studying and writing essays, writing a diatribe about our resident arachnid. This is when you know you're good.***