(no subject)
all of my feelings have gone to song lyrics and quotes and fortune cookies and horoscopes. last night i felt so low. i felt so weak. i felt like it was all right. but wanting to call him just made me feel weaker than before. wanting some strength to come from the other end of the line. all i can do is write and write and write. i write the same words over and over and over, about the same things, the same feelings, the same everything. this is when i realized that nothing's changed. people don't change. feelings take a long time to change, and my time hasn't come.
i got a headache tonight looking into changing my major and reading about credits and transfers and schoolcraft and thinking about a job and the summer and the promise summers used to hold. in the caf tonight i heard someone talking about their summer plans; of course they included jobs, transfer credits, community colleges and all the things that summer has come to mean for post-high school graduates. what happened to the days when summer meant carefree afternoons and late nights catching fireflies and putting them in jars to watch until you fell asleep and your mom would let them go before morning? why didn't i cherish those days more?
i got a headache tonight looking into changing my major and reading about credits and transfers and schoolcraft and thinking about a job and the summer and the promise summers used to hold. in the caf tonight i heard someone talking about their summer plans; of course they included jobs, transfer credits, community colleges and all the things that summer has come to mean for post-high school graduates. what happened to the days when summer meant carefree afternoons and late nights catching fireflies and putting them in jars to watch until you fell asleep and your mom would let them go before morning? why didn't i cherish those days more?