an update...a breakthrough
home has been good so far. actually pretty ok.
i still dont have a car, but that could change shortly. im finally getting the money together so the car will be here soon. thank god. unfortunately, i think both will come after i go back to school. but oh well.
i saw her the christmas eve. she was at work. i didnt say hi but i know she saw me. i wasnt ready to actually see her. coming to terms with the fact that i never really had a friend in her for all these years has been tough to handle, seeing her made it feel much more real than thinking about it had been.
the veil of secrecy between my parents and i has finally fallen and because of it, my dad and i had a bit of a breakthrough. things have been good between us for years now, but now theyre not afraid to be themselves around me more and im not afraid of being myself either. i also now know how much my dad really cares about me and loves me and how much i really mean to him. it may have been the most bizarre and crazy christmas eve ever, but its also probably my most favorite too.
i found out a friend has a crush on me. unfortunately, i found out that i was also playing games with his heart and i feel so badly about it that ive been kicking myself for over a week for it. i hate when people play games with me, and i hate it even more when i do it to others and not even realize it. i just wish i could make it up to him but the only way would be to lie and say i feel the same way about him, which i dont, even though i should since hes absolutely wonderful. but i know i cant do long distance and that i need to make some changes in myself before i get actually get involved in a relationship. plus why would i want to now? its likely that ill be going to italy in less than a year and to always have a deadline on a relationship would kill it before it even got started.
im so excited about coop. i just wanted to say that.
im also still extremely broke. ugh. that will all get fixed in a couple of weeks with my first pay check thank god.
christmas was good. really good. and fun.
all in all things are good. i just thought i would say that.
i still dont have a car, but that could change shortly. im finally getting the money together so the car will be here soon. thank god. unfortunately, i think both will come after i go back to school. but oh well.
i saw her the christmas eve. she was at work. i didnt say hi but i know she saw me. i wasnt ready to actually see her. coming to terms with the fact that i never really had a friend in her for all these years has been tough to handle, seeing her made it feel much more real than thinking about it had been.
the veil of secrecy between my parents and i has finally fallen and because of it, my dad and i had a bit of a breakthrough. things have been good between us for years now, but now theyre not afraid to be themselves around me more and im not afraid of being myself either. i also now know how much my dad really cares about me and loves me and how much i really mean to him. it may have been the most bizarre and crazy christmas eve ever, but its also probably my most favorite too.
i found out a friend has a crush on me. unfortunately, i found out that i was also playing games with his heart and i feel so badly about it that ive been kicking myself for over a week for it. i hate when people play games with me, and i hate it even more when i do it to others and not even realize it. i just wish i could make it up to him but the only way would be to lie and say i feel the same way about him, which i dont, even though i should since hes absolutely wonderful. but i know i cant do long distance and that i need to make some changes in myself before i get actually get involved in a relationship. plus why would i want to now? its likely that ill be going to italy in less than a year and to always have a deadline on a relationship would kill it before it even got started.
im so excited about coop. i just wanted to say that.
im also still extremely broke. ugh. that will all get fixed in a couple of weeks with my first pay check thank god.
christmas was good. really good. and fun.
all in all things are good. i just thought i would say that.