ive been told that im not a good enough person so im doing something about it

[papiermachemade]

a friend told me one day, very honestly and bluntly that im not perfect and that basically im not a good person and that it was making it hard for him to be around me as well as others. what he didnt ask was what was going on with me that might have been the problem. he just told me that i should change my behavior. well im trying to. friday i have

Comments

in my defense...

[l1lbunni3f00f00]

"what he didnt ask was what was going on with me that might have been the problem."

you know shibbs, its a good thing i have a log of all the conversations i have on instant messenger. i dont mean to throw this in your face but just dont say things about me that i didnt do or *not* say because i did:

Me! (12:12:52 PM): shibbs, im just gonna say this
Me! (12:13:59 PM): the first like 2 weeks you were really cool and fun and happy but since then i dunno, youve been soooo cynical and pissed off about everyone and everything. is there any explanation for this?

and again i ask:
Me! (12:19:58 PM): so why did you make it an issue?

i chose to disclude select parts of our conversation purely because no one has to hear this but us and its just not something everyone should get the privelage of reading but i did inquire further into your issues. i do care and granted, perhaps i was a bit blunt but lets be honest: so are you. i didnt know of any other way to get through to you and sometimes it just takes a firm kick in the ass to do so. so next time, lets not distort my words. thanks.

Re: in my defense...

[papiermachemade]

ill agree that you asked. and you know what, youre right, i probably did distort your words but it wasnt intended as an attack on you. you asked, but i never really got the chance to say what was going on. i wont go into it further because you do have a log and can read it if you like. i didnt get to say it all. there were things at that time that i wasnt ready to even talk about yet. things that i still dont even know where to begin with.

im sorry if this felt like an attack on you. it wasnt intended that way. this was how i took it and i ended up feeling like shit. you dont know it but you had me in tears. im not saying that what you had said to me wasnt truthful but there are times that being completely blunt with a person whos clearly having problems doesnt help at all.

and then hearing this didnt help either.
weir ds io bhan (12:18:02 PM): for example, my friendship with you has changed and i dont seem to know why or i havent had the chance to really figure it out. the same is true with most of my friends
F00 SAYS (12:18:41 PM): its changed because just like i said, you used to be fun and happy and i dont know what happened
weir ds io bhan (12:19:30 PM): so when i clearly have achange in attitude, nstead of trying to see whats up with me, you distance yourself? like a fair-weather friend?

i still wait for an answer to my question. again, im sorry for upsetting you if i have. ive fucked up alot of things lately. all that i can say is that im trying to make things better now. i know that wont happen overnight. i just ask that you be patient.