i feel like a piece of shit and im tired of people making me feel like that
im so tired of being treated like shit by the people that say they care about me.
im tired of my friends blowing me off knowing full well that weve made plans. if you want to change plans thats fine. just be nice enough and decent enough to pick up the god damned phone to cancel so im not waiting around like a fucking loser with no decent friends in the world.
you know what else makes me feel like shit? knowing how much effort i put into making sure that my friends are happy and doing ok. and when theyre not i do my best to try to make things alittle better. i cant tell them enough that there isnt anything i wouldnt do for them but i guess that doesnt matter. once they meet someone knew, that they have something in common with, theyre so very quick to forget about our friendship. when that other person calls, my friends jump to answer the phone, or rearrange their schedules to hang out with them, but i have to wait over a week or more to see them. i drive the 15-20 minutes to their house to see them but they cant do the same for me, being it so late and all, but they can somehow make the same length drive to that new friends house to hang out with them. its not fair.
i really wish i knew what it was that i did or said to make people feel that they dont owe me the common fucking courtesy of treating me like i treat them. im so fucking tired of taking the back seat to other people. im not a worthless fuck despite what others may think. i know im not. i think im not atleast. maybe im in denial. i must be if this shit keeps happening.
im tired of having to fight just to hang out with people that are supposed to be my best friends. my friends are so quick to "rescue" other people from their boredom, but cant seem to do that for me. it ends up that on days when were supposed to hang out, i end up being the third wheel...someone theyre hanging out with out of pity. thanks but i dont need your fucking pity. be my friend and treat me like a fucking person or dont. but dont treat me like this it sucks.
more and more lately ive had plans cancelled, thats fine, but more and more, im not even being told about that. and when i am notified about it (which is becoming rarer), they just cant seem to find the time to hangout with me, but they because it was so late, but they can find the time to go to someone elses house and hangout with them. its really nice to feel like im not good enough for a persons time.
if any one can help to explain why it is that i keep meeting and becoming friends with people that dont treat me fairly please let me know. if its me, let me know what i can do to fix it. i have a strong desire to just give up and stop trying to be friends with people. especially if this keeps happening.
im tired of my friends blowing me off knowing full well that weve made plans. if you want to change plans thats fine. just be nice enough and decent enough to pick up the god damned phone to cancel so im not waiting around like a fucking loser with no decent friends in the world.
you know what else makes me feel like shit? knowing how much effort i put into making sure that my friends are happy and doing ok. and when theyre not i do my best to try to make things alittle better. i cant tell them enough that there isnt anything i wouldnt do for them but i guess that doesnt matter. once they meet someone knew, that they have something in common with, theyre so very quick to forget about our friendship. when that other person calls, my friends jump to answer the phone, or rearrange their schedules to hang out with them, but i have to wait over a week or more to see them. i drive the 15-20 minutes to their house to see them but they cant do the same for me, being it so late and all, but they can somehow make the same length drive to that new friends house to hang out with them. its not fair.
i really wish i knew what it was that i did or said to make people feel that they dont owe me the common fucking courtesy of treating me like i treat them. im so fucking tired of taking the back seat to other people. im not a worthless fuck despite what others may think. i know im not. i think im not atleast. maybe im in denial. i must be if this shit keeps happening.
im tired of having to fight just to hang out with people that are supposed to be my best friends. my friends are so quick to "rescue" other people from their boredom, but cant seem to do that for me. it ends up that on days when were supposed to hang out, i end up being the third wheel...someone theyre hanging out with out of pity. thanks but i dont need your fucking pity. be my friend and treat me like a fucking person or dont. but dont treat me like this it sucks.
more and more lately ive had plans cancelled, thats fine, but more and more, im not even being told about that. and when i am notified about it (which is becoming rarer), they just cant seem to find the time to hangout with me, but they because it was so late, but they can find the time to go to someone elses house and hangout with them. its really nice to feel like im not good enough for a persons time.
if any one can help to explain why it is that i keep meeting and becoming friends with people that dont treat me fairly please let me know. if its me, let me know what i can do to fix it. i have a strong desire to just give up and stop trying to be friends with people. especially if this keeps happening.