Writer's Block: There Can Be Only One
Depends on what you mean by "believe". Is it monogamy only valid choice? Certainly not. Do i think it is the easiest choice? Certainly so.
Monogamy is not our natural state. No non-existent God has ordained it as the only proper way. It is not necessarily what "nature" intends. People have desires for many people, and this goes back to really basic genetic reasons, but that is something which also makes life inherently difficult, over-dramatic, and often times really painful.
For myself, i know i am a weird, deep, highly emotional, highly flawed person. While i have always been vaguely curious about poly-type situations i have never gotten involved in one. Its hard enough to maintain a relationship with one person, even if you truly love them! Everyone has their own weird wants, needs, and thoughts passing through their heads. I can't imagine healthily maintaining a relationship with more than one person!
Some of my poly friends argue that being in a poly situation causes you to try to get over jealousy, and therefore your love for someone is actually stronger and less likely to break when situations with jealousy arise. I have my doubts about this, but they could be right, who knows. But it also seems like there is more room for jealousy and drama if you foster a situation where it can grow and fester like that. It seems maybe some people in poly relationships just get jaded...use people to meet their needs instead of getting truly close to someone and accepting all of their flaws.
I would hate to think i am entirely trapped in my childhood upbringing though. As much as i feel weird and different and "alternative", there are still a lot of my beliefs and ideas which when traced back can find root in the Christian upbringing of my childhood...as little as i follow that today. Even as liberal as my parents were in some ways, i was raised with (and still contend with) extreme Christian guilt. This is always something i have attempted to shed, but it goes even deeper than i sometimes know. And the whole idea of "belonging" to one person, which seems inherently slave-like and wrong, is also something DEEPLY instilled in me by my parents.
Also, i don't know...there is something kind of fun and special, like a secret, shared only between two. Even if you have been with other people in the past, and so have they, when you are together the secret is just yours.
I don't know. Its something i think about a lot. I don't even know or think that i'm right. But it seems to work ok for me.
Monogamy is not our natural state. No non-existent God has ordained it as the only proper way. It is not necessarily what "nature" intends. People have desires for many people, and this goes back to really basic genetic reasons, but that is something which also makes life inherently difficult, over-dramatic, and often times really painful.
For myself, i know i am a weird, deep, highly emotional, highly flawed person. While i have always been vaguely curious about poly-type situations i have never gotten involved in one. Its hard enough to maintain a relationship with one person, even if you truly love them! Everyone has their own weird wants, needs, and thoughts passing through their heads. I can't imagine healthily maintaining a relationship with more than one person!
Some of my poly friends argue that being in a poly situation causes you to try to get over jealousy, and therefore your love for someone is actually stronger and less likely to break when situations with jealousy arise. I have my doubts about this, but they could be right, who knows. But it also seems like there is more room for jealousy and drama if you foster a situation where it can grow and fester like that. It seems maybe some people in poly relationships just get jaded...use people to meet their needs instead of getting truly close to someone and accepting all of their flaws.
I would hate to think i am entirely trapped in my childhood upbringing though. As much as i feel weird and different and "alternative", there are still a lot of my beliefs and ideas which when traced back can find root in the Christian upbringing of my childhood...as little as i follow that today. Even as liberal as my parents were in some ways, i was raised with (and still contend with) extreme Christian guilt. This is always something i have attempted to shed, but it goes even deeper than i sometimes know. And the whole idea of "belonging" to one person, which seems inherently slave-like and wrong, is also something DEEPLY instilled in me by my parents.
Also, i don't know...there is something kind of fun and special, like a secret, shared only between two. Even if you have been with other people in the past, and so have they, when you are together the secret is just yours.
I don't know. Its something i think about a lot. I don't even know or think that i'm right. But it seems to work ok for me.