Avatar: The Fire of a Thousand Suns - Zuko/Aang (3/5)
Title: The Fire of a Thousand Suns
Pairings: Zuko/Aang, Aang/Katara, Tenzin/Lin Bei Fong
Disclaimer: This story is based on the universe of Avatar: The Last Airbender and Legend of Korra, their characters, and their situations, none of which I own.
Summary: In the seventy years between the end of the Hundred Year War and the Equalist Revolution, the United Republic of Nations is formed, Republic City is founded, and love blooms between Avatar Aang and Fire Lord Zuko.
Chapter Rating: R
Chapter Word Count: 3,000
Chapter Index: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Interlude | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5
Read on AO3
Present day, ASC 138
The entire journey to the Fire Nation, Aang was a mess of tangled nerves. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he knew he had to do something. He couldn’t bear living with his traitorous heart anymore.
For so long, he had shouldered the burden of doing right by Katara and their children, squelching his too-frequent compulsions to leave for the Fire Nation in the middle of the night. The worst was knowing that Zuko would accept him with open arms - a prospect that seemed to dull any guilt he felt about the whole affair. But Katara would never have forgiven him for leaving her like that, and after all this time, he couldn’t stomach the thought of her having to suffer because of him. Besides, there were the children. The moment he had first laid his eyes on Kya’s precious infant smile, he had known instantly that any fantasies about leaving to be with Zuko would never be realized. His children meant the world to him, and he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving them. (After all, it wasn’t until they had all flown the coop that he had even considered seriously bringing up the idea of separation with Katara.) The torture of living with this responsibility while carrying a torch for his old friend was nothing compared to even the worst diplomatic missions, and the pain had hardened the once playful, light-hearted boy into a serious, solemn man.
Aang was well aware that he was far from perfect. Crushing guilt shadowed him in every moment of his existence - in his daily life, when he wrote to Zuko, as he made love to Katara in their humble bed.
And when Tenzin had left for college, Aang had come to terms with the fact that he could no longer suppress his fantasies. Every moment he spent with Katara felt like a betrayal of the worst kind - to both her and to Zuko. So long ago, the monks had taught Aang to live honestly, but for so many years, he had failed to even be honest with himself and in turn hurt the people he loved most in the world.
It was irresponsible and shameful. As the Avatar, he was supposed to serve as a role model for the people of this world, but instead he had lost his way. For too long, he had been held captive by his warring personal desire and sense of honor. And for too long, he had stood at an inescapable impasse with himself.
So here he was, traveling to the Fire Nation, on a quest to reclaim what he had been missing out on all these years.
Aang surprised Zuko outside of the conference room. When he had arrived at the palace, a guard had informed him that Zuko was in the middle of a meeting with the governor of a Fire Nation province. Too antsy to sit still, Aang spent the hour before Zuko got out pacing the length of the hallway.
“Aang?!” Zuko exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you,” Aang replied truthfully.
“You should have sent a telegraph. I had no idea! If you had let me know, I would have made preparations, cleared my schedule…”
Zuko’s obvious distress made him smile in affection.
“I thought it would be fun to surprise you,” he said cheekily. “Don’t worry about accommodations; I can sleep anywhere.”
Zuko rolled his eyes. “Like I would ever be such an ungracious host - especially for my greatest friend. Come, you can put your things away in my chambers while they prepare your room.”
Aang followed Zuko to his room and dropped his modest sack in the corner. He glanced at the four-poster bed in the center of the bedroom and barely held back a blush, remembering that magical night so many years ago when Zuko had first vocalized his interest and Aang had practically jumped him in excitement. If everything went according to plan, he would be in that bed with Zuko again soon. The thought made him feel giddy, and he suppressed his grin to avoid looking like a lunatic. If Zuko noticed, he didn’t say anything.
They walked out to the gardens, where the turtle ducks still swam in the ponds. Zuko always knew to take him out here the first thing every time he visited. No matter how serious Aang had gotten with age, the turtle ducks always seemed to bring out the kid in him. He could - and had - spend an entire afternoon watching, feeding, and playing with the adorable creatures.
Kneeling down to see the animals better, he noticed a family of them that swam near him, a mother turtle duck and three little turtle ducklings. With a pang, Aang was reminded of Katara, Kya, Bumi, and Tenzin. Already, he missed them. It was silly; they had left for the real world long ago, but it felt different, being the one to leave.
As if on cue, Zuko asked, “Aang, why are you here? Don’t misunderstand; I couldn’t be happier to see you. But is something wrong? You never visit without notifying me well in advance.”
Aang sat back on his haunches and stared at the lily pads floating almost stoically on the smooth surface of the water. He envied their solemn beauty and strength, qualities he associated with both Katara and Zuko. His first love and his last. And he had spent so much of his life hurting them both.
“I left Katara,” he said quietly.
Zuko didn’t say anything. The silence stretched on endlessly, painfully. Minutes, centuries, passed before Zuko replied. Aang was so nervous that he couldn’t tell. The humid Fire Nation autumn air hung heavily between them, and Aang wished for a breeze to sweep away the tension.
“What?” Zuko whispered. His voice was hoarse, quivering. “Aang… Why? Why would you do that?”
Aang stared at the family of turtle ducks, the now-familiar feelings of guilt and dread tangling and tearing at his insides. He felt guilty for leaving his family, but he felt even guiltier for not doing this sooner. And that only made him worse about leaving his family.
“I want to be with you,” he said. “I have wanted to be with you for a very long time.”
“That’s not what you’ve said in the past,” Zuko bit out. Aang glanced up, surprised at the venom in his words. He got to his feet so he could look Zuko in the eyes. He was scowling deeply, and his hands were clenched into fists. They were trembling. This was not the reaction Aang had expected.
“I was stupid. And I had to do my duty…”
“I know, Aang,” Zuko said.”I know. Trust me, for the last forty years, I’ve woken up every morning reminding myself of the same thing. That you had to be a husband, a father. That it was your duty, and that it would be dishonorable to take that away from you. That I had to put my feelings away so I could do my duty.”
“But you don’t have to anymore,” Aang said, taking Zuko’s hands in his. He hated hearing about how he had hurt Zuko. In his heart, he knew, and he thought about it all the time, but it was different hearing it from Zuko himself. It stung so much more. “I’m here now.”
Zuko yanked his hands away, glaring at Aang with unmasked fury and pain in his eyes. “You’re here now?” he repeated incredulously, the words coming out accusatory and anguished at the same time. “Where were you before? Where were you when I couldn’t sleep due to stress from the Harmony Restoration Movement? Where were you when I broke down in the lavatory after your wedding? Where were you when I wanted to crush Kya with my bare hands upon seeing the evidence of you and Katara’s love? Where were you when the man I love told me he loved me enough to sleep with me but not enough to be with me? Where have you been when I’ve woken up from nightmares and have to fight off my demons alone? Where have you been every time the loneliness of this life threatens to crush me?”
“I’m sorry,” Aang said earnestly, struggling to fight off the horrible hollow feeling that Zuko’s words induced within him. “You don’t know how sorry I am for all that I have put you through.”
Zuko laughed hollowly, looking away and fiddling with his sash absently. “Sorry,” he said disdainfully. “I know you’re sorry, Aang. I’ve never doubted that. But you don’t understand. I forgive you for choosing Katara. Spirits know that given the option, I would choose her over a mess like me. But what I can’t forgive you for is giving me hope for so many years only to crush me again and again. And then when I’ve finally given up on this, to bring it up once more.”
“I thought you would be happy,” Aang said, at a loss for words. He was not used to Zuko’s infamously quick temper being directed at him. Not since the days before they had been friends.
Zuko seemed to falter at that. The fire in his eyes died a little, and his scowl turned into a wry grimace. “I don’t know how to feel, Aang,” he said honestly. “I have pined after you for so long that I cannot even process the thought of all those fantasies becoming a reality. It has been so long since I even considered the possibility.”
“But -” Aang protested. Zuko shook his head.
“You can’t just…march into my home and expect me to be here, still waiting for you after all these years.”
The feeling in his stomach had definitely turned into a sinking one. What was Zuko saying? Before, when Aang had rejected him for the second time, he had said…
“You said your flame for me would never die.”
“And that’s the truth,” Zuko said. “But loving someone is very different from being with someone. Then again, maybe you don’t know that, since you and Katara have always been such a perfect couple.”
“We have not,” Aang said hotly, weary of the jabs at his marriage. He and Katara had shared some wonderful times and were good together, but it had hardly been perfect. “How the hell could we be perfect when I could never get away from my feelings for you?”
Zuko snorted. “You’ve always looked plenty happy to me,” he said bitterly.
Aang resisted the urge to stamp his foot in frustration. “You’re being difficult for no reason, Zuko! I just left my wife and children for you! The least you could do is show a little sympathy and give us a chance!”
“It’s always about you, isn’t it,” Zuko snarled. “You act like you’ve done me a favor. But I’ve worked so hard to keep my feelings at bay, to put them away, to master them. And here you come, disrupting everything. I didn’t ask you to leave them! Not this time. You should’ve stayed, Aang.”
His words were like a dagger to Aang’s ribs, and Aang found himself struggling to breathe, much less provide an adequate response.
“Zuko, please,” he said. “What are you saying? Can’t we try? I want to be with you. I’m determined to be with you. Give me a chance. If it doesn’t work, I’ll… I’ll understand, but -”
“I can’t!” Zuko bellowed. “You’re thirty years too late, Aang!”
“I don’t understand,” Aang said sadly. “Zuko, at least… At least give me a reason. Give me one real reason we shouldn’t try.”
“Don’t you know?” Zuko hissed, and the emotions swirling in his eyes were too complex to name and made Aang feel sick to his stomach. “When I look at you, everything hurts.”
He turned away, and Aang saw that his shoulders were shaking. He reached out a hand to squeeze his arm gently and was relieved when Zuko didn’t brush him off.
“Zuko, you deserve to happy,” he said. “After all this time, you’re still torturing yourself and trying to prove your strength and independence. But love isn’t a weakness. And yearning to be loved isn’t, either. Here I am, promising to love you. Telling you that I have loved you for so long. Please stop running from the good things in your life.”
“I need to be alone,” Zuko said bleakly after a moment, twisting away from Aang’s grasp. “Someone from my staff will escort you to your room, and I’ll have dinner brought to you.”
Then he was strolling toward the palace, and as much as he hated feeling so helpless, Aang couldn’t tear his eyes away.
Dearest Katara,
I arrived at the Fire Nation safely earlier today. My trip was uneventful, but you know how I enjoy the train rides. The technology still astounds me. Remember the days when we thought traveling on Appa was so advanced? They were good days, though.
It’s difficult for me to admit that things are not proceeding according to plan. Zuko and I got into a bad fight soon after our reunion. I don’t know why he forces himself to suffer so. Sometimes, I feel like a part of him is still trying to pay penance for the perceived mistakes he made so long ago. I wish he would put his past behind him. Doesn’t he realize that he saved the Fire Nation and that despite the rough patches in the beginning, so many people see him as a war hero?
He's more difficult than a teenager sometimes. And after raising three - including Kya! - that’s saying a lot. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing, but I know I have to do something. This can’t all just be for nothing. You know that I won’t give up without a fight.
I love you and miss you. Write soon.
Best,
Aang
“Zuko, you can’t avoid me forever,” Aang proclaimed loudly, leaning against the wall outside of the Fire Lord’s quarters. When there was no response, just like there had been no response to his persistent knocks, he added, “Stop ignoring me. I know you’re in there.”
Silence.
“Zuko!”
Silence.
With a sigh, Aang gave up on maintaining a sense of decorum and began banging on the door.
“Leave me alone!” Zuko finally shouted.
“Nope. Zuko-o-o,” Aang said in a sing-song voice. “Come out!”
“I won’t!”
“Well, then you won’t mind if I just stand outside your door waiting. You certainly can’t stay in there forever.”
“Watch me!”
Aang rolled his eyes at Zuko’s childish tone. He was really too old to deal with this nonsense.
“Okay, okay,” he said, trying to sound unthreatening as he sank to the floor and sat against the wall. “Don’t mind me; I’m just going to make myself comfortable out here.”
There was a silence, and then a lot of shuffling and incoherent grumbling. The door opened a crack and then fully. Before him stood Fire Lord Zuko, looking neither regal nor powerful. In fact, he reminded Aang of Bumi after a night out on the town, acting as if his father had no idea what desperately, painfully hungover looked like.
“Get off the ground,” Zuko muttered. “You’re embarrassing me.”
Aang raised a skeptical eyebrow. “There’s nobody else around.”
Zuko sighed and stuck his hand in Aang’s face. Aang stared at the proffered fingers and then looked up at Zuko.
“Does this mean you’ll talk to me now? It’s been two days,” he whined.
Zuko’s expression faltered for a second before he threw his masks up again. “Aang, you have to give me time to think, okay?”
Aang took the hand in his and used it as leverage to pull himself up. Zuko’s skin felt like electricity against his.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll leave you alone on one condition.”
Zuko looked wary. “And what’s that?”
“You have to promise that you will talk to me eventually.”
Grimacing, Zuko looked away. “I don’t want to make promises that I’m not sure I can keep.”
“Zuko,” Aang said sharply.
Frustrated, Zuko threw his hands up in the air. “Fine, fine, we’ll talk. Whatever. Just get out of here. Please.”
“Okay,” Aang relented. “But don’t forget: you promised.”
Zuko rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”
But Aang knew he could trust Zuko’s word. If there was one thing that Zuko didn’t do, it was break promises. And with that chance at making another bid for the one person for whom he would risk it all, Aang’s heart sang. Unbearably obstinate at times, Zuko would have stubbornly rejected Aang’s overtures if that were what he believed was right. The fact that he had given in so easily to another discussion could only be a good sign for their future together.
Smiling, Aang said confidently, “I’ll see you at dinner,” and walked down the corridor humming under his breath and completely unaware of the way that Zuko’s gaze lingered on him until he disappeared around a corner, and then for a moment longer.
Dear Tenzin,
I hope your studies are going well and that autumn in Republic City is less suffocating than it is here in the Fire Nation capital. I know you love your books and that school is keeping you busy, but don’t forget to do your airbending exercises and to meditate every day. You should convince that feisty girlfriend of yours to join you sometime. She could benefit from a lifetime of meditation - or maybe just relaxing. Then again, seeing so much of Toph in her always makes me smile. It seems that we are genetically predisposed to fall for passionate, spirited souls with volatile tempers. Spirits help us both.
I love you and miss you dearly. Uncle Zuko sends his regards. Please tell Lin I say hello.
Love,
Father
Pairings: Zuko/Aang, Aang/Katara, Tenzin/Lin Bei Fong
Disclaimer: This story is based on the universe of Avatar: The Last Airbender and Legend of Korra, their characters, and their situations, none of which I own.
Summary: In the seventy years between the end of the Hundred Year War and the Equalist Revolution, the United Republic of Nations is formed, Republic City is founded, and love blooms between Avatar Aang and Fire Lord Zuko.
Chapter Rating: R
Chapter Word Count: 3,000
Chapter Index: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Interlude | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5
Read on AO3
Present day, ASC 138
The entire journey to the Fire Nation, Aang was a mess of tangled nerves. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he knew he had to do something. He couldn’t bear living with his traitorous heart anymore.
For so long, he had shouldered the burden of doing right by Katara and their children, squelching his too-frequent compulsions to leave for the Fire Nation in the middle of the night. The worst was knowing that Zuko would accept him with open arms - a prospect that seemed to dull any guilt he felt about the whole affair. But Katara would never have forgiven him for leaving her like that, and after all this time, he couldn’t stomach the thought of her having to suffer because of him. Besides, there were the children. The moment he had first laid his eyes on Kya’s precious infant smile, he had known instantly that any fantasies about leaving to be with Zuko would never be realized. His children meant the world to him, and he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving them. (After all, it wasn’t until they had all flown the coop that he had even considered seriously bringing up the idea of separation with Katara.) The torture of living with this responsibility while carrying a torch for his old friend was nothing compared to even the worst diplomatic missions, and the pain had hardened the once playful, light-hearted boy into a serious, solemn man.
Aang was well aware that he was far from perfect. Crushing guilt shadowed him in every moment of his existence - in his daily life, when he wrote to Zuko, as he made love to Katara in their humble bed.
And when Tenzin had left for college, Aang had come to terms with the fact that he could no longer suppress his fantasies. Every moment he spent with Katara felt like a betrayal of the worst kind - to both her and to Zuko. So long ago, the monks had taught Aang to live honestly, but for so many years, he had failed to even be honest with himself and in turn hurt the people he loved most in the world.
It was irresponsible and shameful. As the Avatar, he was supposed to serve as a role model for the people of this world, but instead he had lost his way. For too long, he had been held captive by his warring personal desire and sense of honor. And for too long, he had stood at an inescapable impasse with himself.
So here he was, traveling to the Fire Nation, on a quest to reclaim what he had been missing out on all these years.
Aang surprised Zuko outside of the conference room. When he had arrived at the palace, a guard had informed him that Zuko was in the middle of a meeting with the governor of a Fire Nation province. Too antsy to sit still, Aang spent the hour before Zuko got out pacing the length of the hallway.
“Aang?!” Zuko exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you,” Aang replied truthfully.
“You should have sent a telegraph. I had no idea! If you had let me know, I would have made preparations, cleared my schedule…”
Zuko’s obvious distress made him smile in affection.
“I thought it would be fun to surprise you,” he said cheekily. “Don’t worry about accommodations; I can sleep anywhere.”
Zuko rolled his eyes. “Like I would ever be such an ungracious host - especially for my greatest friend. Come, you can put your things away in my chambers while they prepare your room.”
Aang followed Zuko to his room and dropped his modest sack in the corner. He glanced at the four-poster bed in the center of the bedroom and barely held back a blush, remembering that magical night so many years ago when Zuko had first vocalized his interest and Aang had practically jumped him in excitement. If everything went according to plan, he would be in that bed with Zuko again soon. The thought made him feel giddy, and he suppressed his grin to avoid looking like a lunatic. If Zuko noticed, he didn’t say anything.
They walked out to the gardens, where the turtle ducks still swam in the ponds. Zuko always knew to take him out here the first thing every time he visited. No matter how serious Aang had gotten with age, the turtle ducks always seemed to bring out the kid in him. He could - and had - spend an entire afternoon watching, feeding, and playing with the adorable creatures.
Kneeling down to see the animals better, he noticed a family of them that swam near him, a mother turtle duck and three little turtle ducklings. With a pang, Aang was reminded of Katara, Kya, Bumi, and Tenzin. Already, he missed them. It was silly; they had left for the real world long ago, but it felt different, being the one to leave.
As if on cue, Zuko asked, “Aang, why are you here? Don’t misunderstand; I couldn’t be happier to see you. But is something wrong? You never visit without notifying me well in advance.”
Aang sat back on his haunches and stared at the lily pads floating almost stoically on the smooth surface of the water. He envied their solemn beauty and strength, qualities he associated with both Katara and Zuko. His first love and his last. And he had spent so much of his life hurting them both.
“I left Katara,” he said quietly.
Zuko didn’t say anything. The silence stretched on endlessly, painfully. Minutes, centuries, passed before Zuko replied. Aang was so nervous that he couldn’t tell. The humid Fire Nation autumn air hung heavily between them, and Aang wished for a breeze to sweep away the tension.
“What?” Zuko whispered. His voice was hoarse, quivering. “Aang… Why? Why would you do that?”
Aang stared at the family of turtle ducks, the now-familiar feelings of guilt and dread tangling and tearing at his insides. He felt guilty for leaving his family, but he felt even guiltier for not doing this sooner. And that only made him worse about leaving his family.
“I want to be with you,” he said. “I have wanted to be with you for a very long time.”
“That’s not what you’ve said in the past,” Zuko bit out. Aang glanced up, surprised at the venom in his words. He got to his feet so he could look Zuko in the eyes. He was scowling deeply, and his hands were clenched into fists. They were trembling. This was not the reaction Aang had expected.
“I was stupid. And I had to do my duty…”
“I know, Aang,” Zuko said.”I know. Trust me, for the last forty years, I’ve woken up every morning reminding myself of the same thing. That you had to be a husband, a father. That it was your duty, and that it would be dishonorable to take that away from you. That I had to put my feelings away so I could do my duty.”
“But you don’t have to anymore,” Aang said, taking Zuko’s hands in his. He hated hearing about how he had hurt Zuko. In his heart, he knew, and he thought about it all the time, but it was different hearing it from Zuko himself. It stung so much more. “I’m here now.”
Zuko yanked his hands away, glaring at Aang with unmasked fury and pain in his eyes. “You’re here now?” he repeated incredulously, the words coming out accusatory and anguished at the same time. “Where were you before? Where were you when I couldn’t sleep due to stress from the Harmony Restoration Movement? Where were you when I broke down in the lavatory after your wedding? Where were you when I wanted to crush Kya with my bare hands upon seeing the evidence of you and Katara’s love? Where were you when the man I love told me he loved me enough to sleep with me but not enough to be with me? Where have you been when I’ve woken up from nightmares and have to fight off my demons alone? Where have you been every time the loneliness of this life threatens to crush me?”
“I’m sorry,” Aang said earnestly, struggling to fight off the horrible hollow feeling that Zuko’s words induced within him. “You don’t know how sorry I am for all that I have put you through.”
Zuko laughed hollowly, looking away and fiddling with his sash absently. “Sorry,” he said disdainfully. “I know you’re sorry, Aang. I’ve never doubted that. But you don’t understand. I forgive you for choosing Katara. Spirits know that given the option, I would choose her over a mess like me. But what I can’t forgive you for is giving me hope for so many years only to crush me again and again. And then when I’ve finally given up on this, to bring it up once more.”
“I thought you would be happy,” Aang said, at a loss for words. He was not used to Zuko’s infamously quick temper being directed at him. Not since the days before they had been friends.
Zuko seemed to falter at that. The fire in his eyes died a little, and his scowl turned into a wry grimace. “I don’t know how to feel, Aang,” he said honestly. “I have pined after you for so long that I cannot even process the thought of all those fantasies becoming a reality. It has been so long since I even considered the possibility.”
“But -” Aang protested. Zuko shook his head.
“You can’t just…march into my home and expect me to be here, still waiting for you after all these years.”
The feeling in his stomach had definitely turned into a sinking one. What was Zuko saying? Before, when Aang had rejected him for the second time, he had said…
“You said your flame for me would never die.”
“And that’s the truth,” Zuko said. “But loving someone is very different from being with someone. Then again, maybe you don’t know that, since you and Katara have always been such a perfect couple.”
“We have not,” Aang said hotly, weary of the jabs at his marriage. He and Katara had shared some wonderful times and were good together, but it had hardly been perfect. “How the hell could we be perfect when I could never get away from my feelings for you?”
Zuko snorted. “You’ve always looked plenty happy to me,” he said bitterly.
Aang resisted the urge to stamp his foot in frustration. “You’re being difficult for no reason, Zuko! I just left my wife and children for you! The least you could do is show a little sympathy and give us a chance!”
“It’s always about you, isn’t it,” Zuko snarled. “You act like you’ve done me a favor. But I’ve worked so hard to keep my feelings at bay, to put them away, to master them. And here you come, disrupting everything. I didn’t ask you to leave them! Not this time. You should’ve stayed, Aang.”
His words were like a dagger to Aang’s ribs, and Aang found himself struggling to breathe, much less provide an adequate response.
“Zuko, please,” he said. “What are you saying? Can’t we try? I want to be with you. I’m determined to be with you. Give me a chance. If it doesn’t work, I’ll… I’ll understand, but -”
“I can’t!” Zuko bellowed. “You’re thirty years too late, Aang!”
“I don’t understand,” Aang said sadly. “Zuko, at least… At least give me a reason. Give me one real reason we shouldn’t try.”
“Don’t you know?” Zuko hissed, and the emotions swirling in his eyes were too complex to name and made Aang feel sick to his stomach. “When I look at you, everything hurts.”
He turned away, and Aang saw that his shoulders were shaking. He reached out a hand to squeeze his arm gently and was relieved when Zuko didn’t brush him off.
“Zuko, you deserve to happy,” he said. “After all this time, you’re still torturing yourself and trying to prove your strength and independence. But love isn’t a weakness. And yearning to be loved isn’t, either. Here I am, promising to love you. Telling you that I have loved you for so long. Please stop running from the good things in your life.”
“I need to be alone,” Zuko said bleakly after a moment, twisting away from Aang’s grasp. “Someone from my staff will escort you to your room, and I’ll have dinner brought to you.”
Then he was strolling toward the palace, and as much as he hated feeling so helpless, Aang couldn’t tear his eyes away.
Dearest Katara,
I arrived at the Fire Nation safely earlier today. My trip was uneventful, but you know how I enjoy the train rides. The technology still astounds me. Remember the days when we thought traveling on Appa was so advanced? They were good days, though.
It’s difficult for me to admit that things are not proceeding according to plan. Zuko and I got into a bad fight soon after our reunion. I don’t know why he forces himself to suffer so. Sometimes, I feel like a part of him is still trying to pay penance for the perceived mistakes he made so long ago. I wish he would put his past behind him. Doesn’t he realize that he saved the Fire Nation and that despite the rough patches in the beginning, so many people see him as a war hero?
He's more difficult than a teenager sometimes. And after raising three - including Kya! - that’s saying a lot. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing, but I know I have to do something. This can’t all just be for nothing. You know that I won’t give up without a fight.
I love you and miss you. Write soon.
Best,
Aang
“Zuko, you can’t avoid me forever,” Aang proclaimed loudly, leaning against the wall outside of the Fire Lord’s quarters. When there was no response, just like there had been no response to his persistent knocks, he added, “Stop ignoring me. I know you’re in there.”
Silence.
“Zuko!”
Silence.
With a sigh, Aang gave up on maintaining a sense of decorum and began banging on the door.
“Leave me alone!” Zuko finally shouted.
“Nope. Zuko-o-o,” Aang said in a sing-song voice. “Come out!”
“I won’t!”
“Well, then you won’t mind if I just stand outside your door waiting. You certainly can’t stay in there forever.”
“Watch me!”
Aang rolled his eyes at Zuko’s childish tone. He was really too old to deal with this nonsense.
“Okay, okay,” he said, trying to sound unthreatening as he sank to the floor and sat against the wall. “Don’t mind me; I’m just going to make myself comfortable out here.”
There was a silence, and then a lot of shuffling and incoherent grumbling. The door opened a crack and then fully. Before him stood Fire Lord Zuko, looking neither regal nor powerful. In fact, he reminded Aang of Bumi after a night out on the town, acting as if his father had no idea what desperately, painfully hungover looked like.
“Get off the ground,” Zuko muttered. “You’re embarrassing me.”
Aang raised a skeptical eyebrow. “There’s nobody else around.”
Zuko sighed and stuck his hand in Aang’s face. Aang stared at the proffered fingers and then looked up at Zuko.
“Does this mean you’ll talk to me now? It’s been two days,” he whined.
Zuko’s expression faltered for a second before he threw his masks up again. “Aang, you have to give me time to think, okay?”
Aang took the hand in his and used it as leverage to pull himself up. Zuko’s skin felt like electricity against his.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll leave you alone on one condition.”
Zuko looked wary. “And what’s that?”
“You have to promise that you will talk to me eventually.”
Grimacing, Zuko looked away. “I don’t want to make promises that I’m not sure I can keep.”
“Zuko,” Aang said sharply.
Frustrated, Zuko threw his hands up in the air. “Fine, fine, we’ll talk. Whatever. Just get out of here. Please.”
“Okay,” Aang relented. “But don’t forget: you promised.”
Zuko rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”
But Aang knew he could trust Zuko’s word. If there was one thing that Zuko didn’t do, it was break promises. And with that chance at making another bid for the one person for whom he would risk it all, Aang’s heart sang. Unbearably obstinate at times, Zuko would have stubbornly rejected Aang’s overtures if that were what he believed was right. The fact that he had given in so easily to another discussion could only be a good sign for their future together.
Smiling, Aang said confidently, “I’ll see you at dinner,” and walked down the corridor humming under his breath and completely unaware of the way that Zuko’s gaze lingered on him until he disappeared around a corner, and then for a moment longer.
Dear Tenzin,
I hope your studies are going well and that autumn in Republic City is less suffocating than it is here in the Fire Nation capital. I know you love your books and that school is keeping you busy, but don’t forget to do your airbending exercises and to meditate every day. You should convince that feisty girlfriend of yours to join you sometime. She could benefit from a lifetime of meditation - or maybe just relaxing. Then again, seeing so much of Toph in her always makes me smile. It seems that we are genetically predisposed to fall for passionate, spirited souls with volatile tempers. Spirits help us both.
I love you and miss you dearly. Uncle Zuko sends his regards. Please tell Lin I say hello.
Love,
Father