A Manic Madness Part 1/2
Title: A Manic Madness Part 1/2
Rating: Better just go NC-17 to be safe.
Genre: Dramatic angst/Slight horror?
Paring: GRI(Jiyong/Seungri)
Summary: How can you tell when your mind leaves you if every insane thought seems so right? Poor Seungri, he never really saw it coming...
A/N: Sorry, guys, I know you're probably sick of seeing Part 1/2 on my fics but never any 2/2. I swear this one i'm nearly done with. I'm just having trouble ending it. So I decided to split it into two parts while i decided on happy or sad ending. :) Let me know what you want!
Part 2
~*~
They say genius is just a breath away from madness. Jiyong never considered himself smart enough to fall into insanity, so when he felt thoughts of blood and violence niggling at his consciousness, he just swept them off. They started long before he had written songs that catapulted him to stardom, but tightened their hold with each passing day. Little things would divide his attention between what he should do and what his body was aching to do. It should have scared him that they were starting to mold into one cohesive thought.
Seungri stood in his doorway with a soft smile.
A smile he didn’t deserve.
Jiyong found the inexplicable urge to smack it right off his face, but settled for a bruising kiss instead. The boy struggled against his tight hold, but didn’t push him off. Jiyong pulled back and smirked at the shocked look he held. It would do.
For now.
He let the boy pass by him with shaky hands and told himself to waitwaitwait until it was time.
~*~
“They’re not working!” He threw a half empty bottle of pills onto the desk. It was neat and orderly and devoid of any personal trimmings. Some how that made him angrier.
“Jiyong, you just have to give it time to wo-”
“I don’t have time!” Roughly, he shoved his chair back from the desk to pace the small space in front of it. It was his sixth visit to this man and so far nothing he had given him had ebbed the desires.
“Jiyong, calm down. I understand that you’re feeling angry and scared right now, but you have to try and keep-”
“I really hate when people say they ‘understand‘, you know?” The doctor looked like he was just barely holding back the urge to roll his eyes. “You might understand the basic emotions of fear and anger, but you have no idea how terrifying it is to look at someone you love and feel nothing but an intense desire to see their blood spilled all over the carpet. To feel it gnawing at you like a ravaneous animal every moment of every day. And the only thing, the one thing that helps, is the hope that someone might have a way to finally fix this!”
The doctor looked away uncomfortably.
“So, don’t you fucking dare say something so patronizing as ‘I understand’!” His voice roared across the room. The doctor slowly removed his glasses and folded them into his lap.
“I think we’ve reached an impass, here Jiyong. I have done all I can for you.”
Jiyong scoffed and looked towards the clock. Twelve minutes. A new personal best.
“I believe it would be best if you were to seek alternate counseling that would be more specialized to your needs…”
The words floated down the hall uselessly after a young man racing outside.
Again.
Every single time he sought help for the churning thing inside him, he was placated, medicated, and then finally pushed off to another doctor with a insincere ‘good luck’.
The sky loomed dark ahead as he stomped to his car. What the hell what he supposed to do now? Who should he turn to when he’s run totally out of options?
The sky only grumbled menacingly in reply. Dark clouds rolled in from the south and lightening struck out like spindly fingertips. A storm was coming.
“Better take cover.”
~*~
Fierce rain pelted the window pane but Jiyong stared past it to the city in panic below. People were running from building to building in vain to avoid the destruction of a gale force wind. Signs shook in their cloisters and anything not firmly nailed down swept swiftly across the ground. His fingers lightly traced the falling rain drops in awe. How amazing that something so small when paired with intent could be so… deadly. It was beautiful in it’s devastation and he found himself captivated.
“Hyung?” A voice pulled him from his revere with a growl. “How did the meeting go?”
The little panda boy stood with clasped hands and wide eyes in the very picture of earnestness. Purity and virtuousness practically wafted off of him. His small eyes gleamed with the innocence of ignorance. He had never dreamt of blood or pain. He slept soundly with thoughts of bunnies and rainbows and screaming crowds while Jiyong had always dreamt of just screaming.
It made his breath quicken and a fire churn in his gut. Begging him to pleasepleaseplease just this once let it come out and play. He struggled to swallow the thoughts in gasps of air. It clawed at his mind and pushed all rational thought away. There was no stopping it. Pills hadn’t worked, years of abstaining hadn’t worked, and placating it with little moments of holding the maknae down under him hadn’t worked. He felt something like a coat of fire cover him, and it made him writhe and ache. His fingers clenched at his sides and he smiled, a slow dangerous grin before he stood.
Poor little Seunghyun. He had the very worst timing.
“Hyung?” Oh, little lamb. His voice even quivered. At least he had the intelligence to understand when he was most definitely in trouble. “W-what are you doing?”
A rough finger came to rest just below his hair line on his forehead. He quirked his head to the side and slowly slid it down over the steep plane of his nose. Seungri’s eyes crossed as he tried to watch the finger’s progression to his lips. He gave up as it reached his chin and stared back at Jiyong with confused eyes. He continued to smile in a way he was sure was unnerving and rested his finger on the boys throat. Oh what he could do…
“Jiyong…?” The boy didn’t even get a moment to finish his thought before Jiyong spun around to the back of him and gripped his throat tightly. Seungri panicked at the loss of oxygen but Jiyong held the struggling body tightly against his own. He had been waiting so long. There was no way he was going to walk away with out his prize. He leaned forward and placed his lips on the maknae’s ear. Seungri stilled when he felt a touch of gentleness.
Stupid boy.
“I must have been a bad hyung. Didn’t I ever teach you not to speak until spoken to?” His grip loosened for just a moment before he gripped back tighter. A little game. Every breath he was given was taken back with more force. Seungri’s hands clawed at his fingers but with out oxygen he was far too weak to be any kind of a threat.
Oh this would be so fun.
“S-s-so-rr-ry” His gasp was like music to his ears. It was only so much fun to play with someone who didn’t participate. It was so much better to punish. And Seungri was so good at breaking rules with his impulsiveness. He tried to gulp in air between the little breaths Jiyong allowed him. How he wished he could see his face. If his pounding heart was anything to go by, Seungri eyes were probably wide and full of delicious fear. He sighed in the pleasure letting go brought.
Finally.
“You’re still not getting it.” He whispered in the boy’s ear before he let him go in a whirl of movement. One hand pressed down fiercely on his neck and the other forced his knees to bend. Seungri found himself on his back before he understood what was going on. His eyes were wild with fear and uncertainty. He tried to push the leader away but Jiyong held him down with the uncontrollable surge of adrenaline coursing through his veins.
Pretty little Seungri.
Such fragile skin. Such a tragedy that he always trusted the wrong people. Always fell in line willingly and never questioned the madness behind genius.
Seungri’s breath came in ragged needy little gulps as he struggled to be released.
“I don’t need your apologies.” He hissed in the boys ear. Teeth and tongue clashed in a painful crash of his mouth. Seungri pushed and pulled and tried so so so hard to be free, but still the blood raced in his veins. He pulled back and stared at the red of his mouth. Trapped under him.
He had never seen a more beautifully destroyed picture in his whole life.
A drop of blood squirmed it way out of the corner of the boys mouth and he gazed at it’s progression, enraptured.
“I just.
Need.
This.”
He lapped at the red and moaned shamelessly. He’d waited so long to finally be free. How lucky that he should have such a delectable victim at his disposal. Seungri whimpered and he finally looked to his eyes. The were filled with tears he was fighting not to shed. Terror and confusion raged in his eyes, but above all, betrayal was the sweetest. To look at someone and think it must be a nightmare probably brought on the most extreme reaction.
“Welcome to my little world of hell. I’ve been waiting for you.”
His clothes were shed quickly and it wasn’t longer than moments before he took him body and soul. Seungri lay still and allowed his body to be ravaged and torn. His throat gulped down the fear and little whimpers of pain the boy gifted him. And when he finally pushed his frail, bruised, body away he felt a relief that the pills always promised. There was no raging of blood and pain and cries in his head.
Instead, water flowed all around him. Floating in the peace that madness brought.
He heard a door click shut and knew Seungri had gone. He would wash it all away and try to hide all the marks, but he could never hide the darkness in his eyes. He could bathe all he liked. It would never go away.
Jiyong knew that much for sure.
~*~
Part 2
A/N: I just want to make something clear: Jiyong did not rape, Seungri. I know it seemed like it, but his madness was more about control and pain than sex. That’s why when he kissed Seungri he drew blood and then stopped. I hope you aren’t sickened by this depiction. I tried to do it artfully with out betraying what madness feels like.
Thank you for reading!
Rating: Better just go NC-17 to be safe.
Genre: Dramatic angst/Slight horror?
Paring: GRI(Jiyong/Seungri)
Summary: How can you tell when your mind leaves you if every insane thought seems so right? Poor Seungri, he never really saw it coming...
A/N: Sorry, guys, I know you're probably sick of seeing Part 1/2 on my fics but never any 2/2. I swear this one i'm nearly done with. I'm just having trouble ending it. So I decided to split it into two parts while i decided on happy or sad ending. :) Let me know what you want!
Part 2
~*~
They say genius is just a breath away from madness. Jiyong never considered himself smart enough to fall into insanity, so when he felt thoughts of blood and violence niggling at his consciousness, he just swept them off. They started long before he had written songs that catapulted him to stardom, but tightened their hold with each passing day. Little things would divide his attention between what he should do and what his body was aching to do. It should have scared him that they were starting to mold into one cohesive thought.
Seungri stood in his doorway with a soft smile.
A smile he didn’t deserve.
Jiyong found the inexplicable urge to smack it right off his face, but settled for a bruising kiss instead. The boy struggled against his tight hold, but didn’t push him off. Jiyong pulled back and smirked at the shocked look he held. It would do.
For now.
He let the boy pass by him with shaky hands and told himself to waitwaitwait until it was time.
~*~
“They’re not working!” He threw a half empty bottle of pills onto the desk. It was neat and orderly and devoid of any personal trimmings. Some how that made him angrier.
“Jiyong, you just have to give it time to wo-”
“I don’t have time!” Roughly, he shoved his chair back from the desk to pace the small space in front of it. It was his sixth visit to this man and so far nothing he had given him had ebbed the desires.
“Jiyong, calm down. I understand that you’re feeling angry and scared right now, but you have to try and keep-”
“I really hate when people say they ‘understand‘, you know?” The doctor looked like he was just barely holding back the urge to roll his eyes. “You might understand the basic emotions of fear and anger, but you have no idea how terrifying it is to look at someone you love and feel nothing but an intense desire to see their blood spilled all over the carpet. To feel it gnawing at you like a ravaneous animal every moment of every day. And the only thing, the one thing that helps, is the hope that someone might have a way to finally fix this!”
The doctor looked away uncomfortably.
“So, don’t you fucking dare say something so patronizing as ‘I understand’!” His voice roared across the room. The doctor slowly removed his glasses and folded them into his lap.
“I think we’ve reached an impass, here Jiyong. I have done all I can for you.”
Jiyong scoffed and looked towards the clock. Twelve minutes. A new personal best.
“I believe it would be best if you were to seek alternate counseling that would be more specialized to your needs…”
The words floated down the hall uselessly after a young man racing outside.
Again.
Every single time he sought help for the churning thing inside him, he was placated, medicated, and then finally pushed off to another doctor with a insincere ‘good luck’.
The sky loomed dark ahead as he stomped to his car. What the hell what he supposed to do now? Who should he turn to when he’s run totally out of options?
The sky only grumbled menacingly in reply. Dark clouds rolled in from the south and lightening struck out like spindly fingertips. A storm was coming.
“Better take cover.”
~*~
Fierce rain pelted the window pane but Jiyong stared past it to the city in panic below. People were running from building to building in vain to avoid the destruction of a gale force wind. Signs shook in their cloisters and anything not firmly nailed down swept swiftly across the ground. His fingers lightly traced the falling rain drops in awe. How amazing that something so small when paired with intent could be so… deadly. It was beautiful in it’s devastation and he found himself captivated.
“Hyung?” A voice pulled him from his revere with a growl. “How did the meeting go?”
The little panda boy stood with clasped hands and wide eyes in the very picture of earnestness. Purity and virtuousness practically wafted off of him. His small eyes gleamed with the innocence of ignorance. He had never dreamt of blood or pain. He slept soundly with thoughts of bunnies and rainbows and screaming crowds while Jiyong had always dreamt of just screaming.
It made his breath quicken and a fire churn in his gut. Begging him to pleasepleaseplease just this once let it come out and play. He struggled to swallow the thoughts in gasps of air. It clawed at his mind and pushed all rational thought away. There was no stopping it. Pills hadn’t worked, years of abstaining hadn’t worked, and placating it with little moments of holding the maknae down under him hadn’t worked. He felt something like a coat of fire cover him, and it made him writhe and ache. His fingers clenched at his sides and he smiled, a slow dangerous grin before he stood.
Poor little Seunghyun. He had the very worst timing.
“Hyung?” Oh, little lamb. His voice even quivered. At least he had the intelligence to understand when he was most definitely in trouble. “W-what are you doing?”
A rough finger came to rest just below his hair line on his forehead. He quirked his head to the side and slowly slid it down over the steep plane of his nose. Seungri’s eyes crossed as he tried to watch the finger’s progression to his lips. He gave up as it reached his chin and stared back at Jiyong with confused eyes. He continued to smile in a way he was sure was unnerving and rested his finger on the boys throat. Oh what he could do…
“Jiyong…?” The boy didn’t even get a moment to finish his thought before Jiyong spun around to the back of him and gripped his throat tightly. Seungri panicked at the loss of oxygen but Jiyong held the struggling body tightly against his own. He had been waiting so long. There was no way he was going to walk away with out his prize. He leaned forward and placed his lips on the maknae’s ear. Seungri stilled when he felt a touch of gentleness.
Stupid boy.
“I must have been a bad hyung. Didn’t I ever teach you not to speak until spoken to?” His grip loosened for just a moment before he gripped back tighter. A little game. Every breath he was given was taken back with more force. Seungri’s hands clawed at his fingers but with out oxygen he was far too weak to be any kind of a threat.
Oh this would be so fun.
“S-s-so-rr-ry” His gasp was like music to his ears. It was only so much fun to play with someone who didn’t participate. It was so much better to punish. And Seungri was so good at breaking rules with his impulsiveness. He tried to gulp in air between the little breaths Jiyong allowed him. How he wished he could see his face. If his pounding heart was anything to go by, Seungri eyes were probably wide and full of delicious fear. He sighed in the pleasure letting go brought.
Finally.
“You’re still not getting it.” He whispered in the boy’s ear before he let him go in a whirl of movement. One hand pressed down fiercely on his neck and the other forced his knees to bend. Seungri found himself on his back before he understood what was going on. His eyes were wild with fear and uncertainty. He tried to push the leader away but Jiyong held him down with the uncontrollable surge of adrenaline coursing through his veins.
Pretty little Seungri.
Such fragile skin. Such a tragedy that he always trusted the wrong people. Always fell in line willingly and never questioned the madness behind genius.
Seungri’s breath came in ragged needy little gulps as he struggled to be released.
“I don’t need your apologies.” He hissed in the boys ear. Teeth and tongue clashed in a painful crash of his mouth. Seungri pushed and pulled and tried so so so hard to be free, but still the blood raced in his veins. He pulled back and stared at the red of his mouth. Trapped under him.
He had never seen a more beautifully destroyed picture in his whole life.
A drop of blood squirmed it way out of the corner of the boys mouth and he gazed at it’s progression, enraptured.
“I just.
Need.
This.”
He lapped at the red and moaned shamelessly. He’d waited so long to finally be free. How lucky that he should have such a delectable victim at his disposal. Seungri whimpered and he finally looked to his eyes. The were filled with tears he was fighting not to shed. Terror and confusion raged in his eyes, but above all, betrayal was the sweetest. To look at someone and think it must be a nightmare probably brought on the most extreme reaction.
“Welcome to my little world of hell. I’ve been waiting for you.”
His clothes were shed quickly and it wasn’t longer than moments before he took him body and soul. Seungri lay still and allowed his body to be ravaged and torn. His throat gulped down the fear and little whimpers of pain the boy gifted him. And when he finally pushed his frail, bruised, body away he felt a relief that the pills always promised. There was no raging of blood and pain and cries in his head.
Instead, water flowed all around him. Floating in the peace that madness brought.
He heard a door click shut and knew Seungri had gone. He would wash it all away and try to hide all the marks, but he could never hide the darkness in his eyes. He could bathe all he liked. It would never go away.
Jiyong knew that much for sure.
~*~
Part 2
A/N: I just want to make something clear: Jiyong did not rape, Seungri. I know it seemed like it, but his madness was more about control and pain than sex. That’s why when he kissed Seungri he drew blood and then stopped. I hope you aren’t sickened by this depiction. I tried to do it artfully with out betraying what madness feels like.
Thank you for reading!