30 mg long
I have a 100 average so far in Education 476. Too bad I'm not enrolled for credit. Then I could feel better by having a 19.5 credit load and another A in the GPA mix. Oh well. It came down to paying $500 for an A. At first I thought that was ridiculous because I wouldn't bribe someone that well for an A, but now I'm feeling pretty crazy and desperate. Although I know I earned an A in that class, I feel more validated when it's in print on a transcript. I have chalked this semester up to a loss. It's been a total failure and so have I. I don't know what the fuck my problem was, but I hope it's over and that I can recover from my fuckups. I want to feel more like myself next semester.
Speaking of being myself, I'm having a balance issue again. Whereas for the past year I've been permissive and helpful to a fault (DOORMAT!), instead of improving that by setting better boundaries and knowing my own limits, I'm now intolerant and impatient with nearly everything. Instead of being frustrated but understanding about pain-in-the-ass bosses or stupid assignments, I just disregard them. That is so bad. I don't know how to avoid these constant extremes. It almost feels like I wait too long to speak up about something, so by the time I do, I'm screaming. While I'm valuing my own time more, it's turning me into an insubordinate and detached employee and student. Thankfully things are still great with Jenn, though I'm certainly not the doting, dishwashing 'friend that I once was and I'm quicker to speak up when I don't agree.
Oh, I keep forgetting about this great e-mail that my Grandma George sent. She finally has a computer with INTERNET and EMAIL now, and she's working on her typing:
"I am working on getting to know this thing . I know that it seems like it is taking me forever. At least it seems that way to me. I could have a quilt made by now and have something to show for all my work. I hope you and Gin had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I know your mother is a very good cook or at least I think so. I am working on my typing and it is very rusty . Your mother says you can type very fast but I bet I can make a quilt faster then you can. I still would love to teach you to quilt someday. I hope you and Gin have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS . I like her she is a pretty neat individual. I hope school is going well for you. Love;Grandma"
I think it's so funny that she spells Jenn 'Gin.'
We have a theory that Nip-Chee and Vanzetti are in a sadomasochistic relationship. Their rape seems like play. They're coy with each other, and often Nip-Chee just seems to acquiesce. They cuddle and groom each other, and sometimes they even seem to nuzzle. Sometimes I watch them to the point that it's really cute, and then I look at their rat tails. Nothing is cute with a rat tail.
Today I made Christmas cookies with Theeeeeo. We even made a T, an M, and an O. He's getting really good at his alphabet and can even name several words that begin with each letter. Today he said 'goed' but quickly transitioned to 'went' after I gave him some retroalimentacion. "Where's my Callie? I need a hug and a kiss." It's very rare that I see any of the boys during the afternoon, without the pressure of dinner and bathtime and bedtime, let alone that I get one-on-one time with Theo. I don't pick favorites, but when I'm spending time with any of them I start to think he's the center of the whole world. I love them all so much. I talked to Nick on the phone today and realized how long it's been since I've seen him. "I hope to see you next week," he said, "it's been a while and we should catch up." I probably would have left Richmond a long time ago if I hadn't started working for them.
Speaking of emigration, I am looking into being a military teacher on overseas bases. It sounds like the perfect situation for me, but I have a lot of research to do before I get my hopes up.
My Spanish final is tomorrow morning, and I really hope I can make at least an 80. I figured out that it's possible for me to get a B, but the heavens will have to open for that to happen. And spit out dangerous ice and sleet and hail...
It's looking like I'll be awake for a while. At least there's an end in sight, even if it's hellish.
Spanish final
Spanish essays (2)
Sociology final
Sociology essays (4)
EDUS 300 final (2 essays)
EDUS 301 final
Fan Free Clinic shirt and time sheet
It's almost over. I won't even be able to breathe a sigh of relief when it's over, but instead just bury it and try to move on. At least I have great classes to look forward to.
Speaking of being myself, I'm having a balance issue again. Whereas for the past year I've been permissive and helpful to a fault (DOORMAT!), instead of improving that by setting better boundaries and knowing my own limits, I'm now intolerant and impatient with nearly everything. Instead of being frustrated but understanding about pain-in-the-ass bosses or stupid assignments, I just disregard them. That is so bad. I don't know how to avoid these constant extremes. It almost feels like I wait too long to speak up about something, so by the time I do, I'm screaming. While I'm valuing my own time more, it's turning me into an insubordinate and detached employee and student. Thankfully things are still great with Jenn, though I'm certainly not the doting, dishwashing 'friend that I once was and I'm quicker to speak up when I don't agree.
Oh, I keep forgetting about this great e-mail that my Grandma George sent. She finally has a computer with INTERNET and EMAIL now, and she's working on her typing:
"I am working on getting to know this thing . I know that it seems like it is taking me forever. At least it seems that way to me. I could have a quilt made by now and have something to show for all my work. I hope you and Gin had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I know your mother is a very good cook or at least I think so. I am working on my typing and it is very rusty . Your mother says you can type very fast but I bet I can make a quilt faster then you can. I still would love to teach you to quilt someday. I hope you and Gin have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS . I like her she is a pretty neat individual. I hope school is going well for you. Love;Grandma"
I think it's so funny that she spells Jenn 'Gin.'
We have a theory that Nip-Chee and Vanzetti are in a sadomasochistic relationship. Their rape seems like play. They're coy with each other, and often Nip-Chee just seems to acquiesce. They cuddle and groom each other, and sometimes they even seem to nuzzle. Sometimes I watch them to the point that it's really cute, and then I look at their rat tails. Nothing is cute with a rat tail.
Today I made Christmas cookies with Theeeeeo. We even made a T, an M, and an O. He's getting really good at his alphabet and can even name several words that begin with each letter. Today he said 'goed' but quickly transitioned to 'went' after I gave him some retroalimentacion. "Where's my Callie? I need a hug and a kiss." It's very rare that I see any of the boys during the afternoon, without the pressure of dinner and bathtime and bedtime, let alone that I get one-on-one time with Theo. I don't pick favorites, but when I'm spending time with any of them I start to think he's the center of the whole world. I love them all so much. I talked to Nick on the phone today and realized how long it's been since I've seen him. "I hope to see you next week," he said, "it's been a while and we should catch up." I probably would have left Richmond a long time ago if I hadn't started working for them.
Speaking of emigration, I am looking into being a military teacher on overseas bases. It sounds like the perfect situation for me, but I have a lot of research to do before I get my hopes up.
My Spanish final is tomorrow morning, and I really hope I can make at least an 80. I figured out that it's possible for me to get a B, but the heavens will have to open for that to happen. And spit out dangerous ice and sleet and hail...
It's looking like I'll be awake for a while. At least there's an end in sight, even if it's hellish.
Spanish final
Spanish essays (2)
Sociology final
Sociology essays (4)
EDUS 300 final (2 essays)
EDUS 301 final
Fan Free Clinic shirt and time sheet
It's almost over. I won't even be able to breathe a sigh of relief when it's over, but instead just bury it and try to move on. At least I have great classes to look forward to.