(no subject)
Have you ever had the tiniest of information spin your mind out of control?
That happened to me today. At first, it didn't really register as anything big. Then, as time went on, it kept popping into my head. The realization of what it meant, or could mean, has my stomach in knots. I don't know why, but I can't shake it.
Even as I sit here now, the butterflies in my stomach are out in force. It's not bad feeling; it's like the feeling I get when I start a test. Sort of like an anxious excitement. At the same time, I just want to sit on my bed, hug my knees, and try my hardest to push it away.
Even more worrisome, is if I go to bed, am I going to dream about it? I don't really want to, but again, at the same time, I would love to.
It makes me feel like I've lost control of who I am. Do I become a better person? Or risk everything and stay the same?
I'm happy and sad at the same time. I don't like not being in control of my emotions like this. Should I say how I feel or keep a tight reign on my feelings?
Ugh! I can't handle this. Damnit!
That happened to me today. At first, it didn't really register as anything big. Then, as time went on, it kept popping into my head. The realization of what it meant, or could mean, has my stomach in knots. I don't know why, but I can't shake it.
Even as I sit here now, the butterflies in my stomach are out in force. It's not bad feeling; it's like the feeling I get when I start a test. Sort of like an anxious excitement. At the same time, I just want to sit on my bed, hug my knees, and try my hardest to push it away.
Even more worrisome, is if I go to bed, am I going to dream about it? I don't really want to, but again, at the same time, I would love to.
It makes me feel like I've lost control of who I am. Do I become a better person? Or risk everything and stay the same?
I'm happy and sad at the same time. I don't like not being in control of my emotions like this. Should I say how I feel or keep a tight reign on my feelings?
Ugh! I can't handle this. Damnit!