[Kisame is quiet, thoughtful, voice softer than normal; even he hasn't been completely unaffected by talking to the Konoha shinobi. But still, his brows are furrowed both in concern for her and distaste for the subject and addressee.]
Konan-san.... Why do you do this to yourself? If you know they'll only pretend and offer empty gestures, if they respond at all, what point is there in even asking? The people who care aren't powerful or important; they aren't the ones that can be blamed. In the scheme of things in their village, the only ones who will listen to you and answer with their hearts don't really matter.
The people who can speak for more than themselves, with the power and authority to make a difference, the people whose opinions matter most.... They won't listen. They won't care. They won't offer you anything real or valuable.
[ Feels a strange pang of sadness; perhaps it is the sincerity he hears in those words. Something about this predicament seems inexplicable lonely somehow.
As if, really, all this rage covers wounds.
Wounds that are bleeding, and they don't know how to cover. ]
It may be foolish to ask, but I wanted to ask them regardless. I know your history, Kisame-san. If you knew mine, you'd understand why I have to do this.
[She can see his concern, however. And his cynicism, which is very much like her own. They all are operating out of a lack of hope, she thinks.]
I think it's likely they will just make empty gestures.
[Usually, Kisame's able to smile, to be optimistic and look for the silver lining in things, no matter how twisted and tarnished it may be. But his hope is flagging lately, and he has no mind to try and shore it up just now--not when they're hovering on the eve of war. It would be a pointless gesture. And so for once, he's willing to let his normally half-buried cynicism guide his thoughts and words.]
I won't presume to understand then, Konan-san.... I wish that you could see what you're looking for. Maybe if we're lucky, you really will spot something worth looking at in this.
[She considers telling him. After all, he has told her plenty about his own life. It's simple enough.]
There is something that warriors have that I don't think I share. You can meet your enemies as an equal. You can stand and fight for yourself.
I've never been able to speak to my enemies before. Or to meet them on the battlefield. They have just acted upon me. They have always been out of my reach.
[She makes a gesture of weary indifference.] I wanted to speak to them, finally. Maybe they will not answer an orphan of their wars. But they spoke to Pain. Maybe they will speak to me.
And you can't stand and fight for yourself, or you haven't yet, or you won't? Konan-san, I'm sorry if I'm assuming too much, but we're Akatsuki. I don't think you would be a part of this at all if you had no strength or skill to speak of. I don't believe Leader-sama would love a worthless woman.
The enemy might have been out of reach before, Konan-san, but they aren't now. They have a name and a face, a home and a heart to speak to and strike at. Whatever they tell you, you're able to speak to them now, and you're finally able to face them in battle as you've been denied the chance to for your entire life.
For your sake, for our sake, I hope they tell you something that satisfies you, one way or the other. But whatever they say, we'll still be able to at least get answers from them written in blood.
[It is a day later, after she has spoken to many Konoha ninja. She comes to his message as she prepares to end this venture.]
Yes, you're right, Kisame-san. [She almost smiles.] You are exactly right.
I'm an adult with an adult's skill. And my enemies not only have a face but names and home addresses.
But the truth is... [She hesitates for a long moment, her old reflexes tell her to stay silent.]
[Private]I would speak openly, but Nagato is concerned that I am undermining morale by airing my doubts. [A dismissive gesture.] So it is. But if you want me to talk about what they told me
( ... )
Konan-san.... Why do you do this to yourself? If you know they'll only pretend and offer empty gestures, if they respond at all, what point is there in even asking? The people who care aren't powerful or important; they aren't the ones that can be blamed. In the scheme of things in their village, the only ones who will listen to you and answer with their hearts don't really matter.
The people who can speak for more than themselves, with the power and authority to make a difference, the people whose opinions matter most.... They won't listen. They won't care. They won't offer you anything real or valuable.
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[ Feels a strange pang of sadness; perhaps it is the sincerity he hears in those words. Something about this predicament seems inexplicable lonely somehow.
As if, really, all this rage covers wounds.
Wounds that are bleeding, and they don't know how to cover. ]
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Only the sound of your voice was.
Different to me, for a moment.
I think your words to Konan are true, though, and I am so busy right now, so I thank you for being able to say them before I could.
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No problem..... I know how much you have to take care of right now.
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[She can see his concern, however. And his cynicism, which is very much like her own. They all are operating out of a lack of hope, she thinks.]
I think it's likely they will just make empty gestures.
But, I did want to see for myself.
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I won't presume to understand then, Konan-san.... I wish that you could see what you're looking for. Maybe if we're lucky, you really will spot something worth looking at in this.
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There is something that warriors have that I don't think I share. You can meet your enemies as an equal. You can stand and fight for yourself.
I've never been able to speak to my enemies before. Or to meet them on the battlefield. They have just acted upon me. They have always been out of my reach.
[She makes a gesture of weary indifference.] I wanted to speak to them, finally. Maybe they will not answer an orphan of their wars. But they spoke to Pain. Maybe they will speak to me.
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The enemy might have been out of reach before, Konan-san, but they aren't now. They have a name and a face, a home and a heart to speak to and strike at. Whatever they tell you, you're able to speak to them now, and you're finally able to face them in battle as you've been denied the chance to for your entire life.
For your sake, for our sake, I hope they tell you something that satisfies you, one way or the other. But whatever they say, we'll still be able to at least get answers from them written in blood.
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Yes, you're right, Kisame-san. [She almost smiles.] You are exactly right.
I'm an adult with an adult's skill. And my enemies not only have a face but names and home addresses.
But the truth is... [She hesitates for a long moment, her old reflexes tell her to stay silent.]
[Private]I would speak openly, but Nagato is concerned that I am undermining morale by airing my doubts. [A dismissive gesture.] So it is. But if you want me to talk about what they told me ( ... )
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