Choice Quotes from the Boston Fiasco...
Courtesy of CNN
Assistant Attorney General John Grossman called the light boards "bomblike" devices and said that if they had been explosive they could have damaged transportation infrastructure in the city
Uhh... Mr. Grossman... that's what anything that's explosive does. These items were not explosive. What the hell is the criteria for "bomblike?" Is it "I know it when I see it?"
"It's so not threatening -- it's a Lite Brite," [22-year-old design student Todd Venderlin, who saw one of the devices weeks ago] told the [Boston Globe].
After looking at the pictures, yes, it's almost precisely a Lite Brite. Have the authorities in Boston been watching too many action movies? Bombs don't fucking light up, people. They're boring and banal-looking. They don't flash, there isn't a giant timer beeping out little 24-esque digital ticks and tocks, and Dennis Quaid is probably not involved.
"It had a very sinister appearance," [Massachussetts Attorney General Martha] Coakley told reporters. "It had a battery behind it, and wires."
...
Let me just restate that.
...
Shall I list a number of other things with batteries and wires? Flashlights. Kids' toys. Some of my earrings. 2501's pants. Cell phones. Car stereos. Those newfangled Metro bus timetables. Remote-controlled cars. Portable DVD players. So sinister!
You know what else?
Some bombs do not have batteries. Some don't have wires. So what are we pursuing now? The War On Electronic Devices?
Seriously, Beantown-- my hometown handled the odd bomb scare at the high school a whole lot more smoothly than this.
The best part? Boston wants Turner to foot the bill for untwisting its knickers. I think this calls for a new slogan: "Boston! When we panic, you pay!"
Assistant Attorney General John Grossman called the light boards "bomblike" devices and said that if they had been explosive they could have damaged transportation infrastructure in the city
Uhh... Mr. Grossman... that's what anything that's explosive does. These items were not explosive. What the hell is the criteria for "bomblike?" Is it "I know it when I see it?"
"It's so not threatening -- it's a Lite Brite," [22-year-old design student Todd Venderlin, who saw one of the devices weeks ago] told the [Boston Globe].
After looking at the pictures, yes, it's almost precisely a Lite Brite. Have the authorities in Boston been watching too many action movies? Bombs don't fucking light up, people. They're boring and banal-looking. They don't flash, there isn't a giant timer beeping out little 24-esque digital ticks and tocks, and Dennis Quaid is probably not involved.
"It had a very sinister appearance," [Massachussetts Attorney General Martha] Coakley told reporters. "It had a battery behind it, and wires."
...
Let me just restate that.
...
Shall I list a number of other things with batteries and wires? Flashlights. Kids' toys. Some of my earrings. 2501's pants. Cell phones. Car stereos. Those newfangled Metro bus timetables. Remote-controlled cars. Portable DVD players. So sinister!
You know what else?
Some bombs do not have batteries. Some don't have wires. So what are we pursuing now? The War On Electronic Devices?
Seriously, Beantown-- my hometown handled the odd bomb scare at the high school a whole lot more smoothly than this.
The best part? Boston wants Turner to foot the bill for untwisting its knickers. I think this calls for a new slogan: "Boston! When we panic, you pay!"