a quote that explains exactly how I feel
From a commenter on this metafilter thread (thanks quigonejinn), emphasis mine.
I wish we could separate religious marriage from legal unions. Give people all the rights and benefits of marriage, but make the religious aspect something akin to baptism or confirmation: a ritual that has no ramifications outside that religion. Then people could discriminate ( Read more... )
I wish we could separate religious marriage from legal unions. Give people all the rights and benefits of marriage, but make the religious aspect something akin to baptism or confirmation: a ritual that has no ramifications outside that religion. Then people could discriminate ( Read more... )
Personally, that's how I view my marriage - Matt and I were married by our priest/church but then, at about the same time, we filled out some paperwork with the state that gave us nifty tax benifits, etc. But the state didn't marry us.
Which is why I can't understand why anyone would have a problem with legalizing same sex marriage - if your religion says that people of the same gender can't get married than I'm assuming your religion wouldn't marry people of the same gender so, by your prespective, no marriages are taking place. But if some's religion/personal belief says that two people of the same gendar CAN get married, then why can't they get the same tax benifits Matt and I got???
(Of course, my next hope is that religions/denominations, espically MINE, will start allowing same sex marriage - but we don't need the state to tell us who can and can't get married! We can sort that out for ourselves!)
Oh - and something that annoyed me from the for prop 8 people - one of the (many) lies they were spreading was that if same sex marriage was legal, churches would be forced to marry same sex couples. Um, dua, priests turn away couples who want to get married ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!! The way our country is set up, that's fine. So, again, what's the big deal?!?!?
And I'm hoping I am making at least some sence - this is something I'm (obviously) feel very strongly about - it combinds my two big pet peeves... Also I'm exausted from staying up WAY past my bedtime then waking up multiple times during the night to see what was happening with prop 8... which apperently still hasn't been called either way... *am keeping fingers crossed!*
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I'd rather do without the tax filing and health benefits entirely than have my marriage declared invalid until I file paperwork with a secular state. My marriage became valid the moment we made our vows in front of the minister and God, period. What does that have to do with the government? They don't actually make the marriages (save the judges who officiate in civil ceremonies), and they shouldn't be the ones to decide which marriages can be filed.
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Then again what I liked so much about the ketubah was that we were actually signing a contract saying what our responsibilities to each other were (the same kind of stuff you say in vows), even though it is not a legally binding contract. I like the idea of marriage as a contractual agreement that is entered into by two consenting adults. That is a completely non-religious view of marriage and seems like the kind of thing that is more government-related.
But hey, if separating the two works for me AND for religious people, it's a win-win situation.
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Exactly! Plus like you said, religious officials can refuse to marry couples for any reason they like. We had to be interviewed by our rabbi before he would agree to marry us. Rabbis refuse to marry interfaith couples all the time, Catholic priests refuse to marry non-Catholics, etc. If someone wanted to they could form a religion that refused to marry people with brown hair and that would be totally legal.
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