an explanation
Okay, so, I figured I’ve been missing long enough and have been upset about it long enough to post an explanation.
First of all, I’m not actually here; I handed the password and stuff over to my best friend finkpishnets a few months ago because otherwise I will just delete this journal without warning at some point. I thought disabling the comments would be enough but it wasn’t, so now I can’t have paperclipbitch back until I’m stable enough to look after it. If I haven’t added you back yet/replied to a comment, I’m so sorry, it’s because I’m not in here at the moment.
Basically, I’m... in the middle? at the beginning? a hand wavy somewhere inside a nervous breakdown, anyway, which started in about January and is not going anywhere good. Bits have been better than others and I’m not about to pretend it’s the worst nervous breakdown anyone’s ever had or anything, but it’s pretty sucky. I’m on my third kind of medication and am currently trying to establish whether I can go back to university in a couple of weeks and everything’s a bit of a mess.
I miss fandom like crazy, but at the same time the depression means I don’t care about it in these huge swathes of shitty apathy which are pretty distressing, and I haven’t even read fic in months, let alone being able to write. I hate this because, for me, writing’s usually a pretty constant thing and right now I can’t even manage an update about my life for my personal journal let alone anything else. The only time I’ve written anything this summer was when I was on some kind of souped-up drug/brain mania that meant I produced about 10,000 words a day, but that’s mercifully stopped and mostly what I do is sleep all the time. So. I owe help_japan fics - I’m so sorry about this, by the way, when I signed up I was pretty sure I was heading for more positive things - and I would like to write things for the world, but anyway, this is my life now, I have no time limit on this fuckery, so we’ll see.
I just thought I ought to pop up and be like “hey, so, this is why I have vanished” in case anyone cared ;) Though frankly, if I was writing right now it would probably be gen Suits fic in which there’s a baby of some description that everyone cuddles a lot and I would not be a self-insert baby at all. Um. Fingers crossed for better things and stuff.
If you want to come hang out and chat fandom shit I’m usually pretty omnipresent on twitter - my username is @milkbutnotsugar - and whether we’ve ever spoken before or not, I like knowing people on there, so come say hi and I’ll follow you. Particularly if you have opinions on The Sarah Jane Adventures, Lucas Till being the most ridiculous human, Victoria Asher being the most flawless person, Pottermore, The Hobbit, if you ever watched The Hour, or have ever seen either Food Network Challenge or The Great British Bake Off. Although frankly all things are good.
This is all TL;DR, so basically: I’m not here, I’m “suffering from Generalised Anxiety Disorder and a severe case of depression” according to my psychiatrist’s letters, but the fact you guys exist is amazing, and I miss being around on here.
Love.
Jenn/Lady Paperclip
xxx
First of all, I’m not actually here; I handed the password and stuff over to my best friend finkpishnets a few months ago because otherwise I will just delete this journal without warning at some point. I thought disabling the comments would be enough but it wasn’t, so now I can’t have paperclipbitch back until I’m stable enough to look after it. If I haven’t added you back yet/replied to a comment, I’m so sorry, it’s because I’m not in here at the moment.
Basically, I’m... in the middle? at the beginning? a hand wavy somewhere inside a nervous breakdown, anyway, which started in about January and is not going anywhere good. Bits have been better than others and I’m not about to pretend it’s the worst nervous breakdown anyone’s ever had or anything, but it’s pretty sucky. I’m on my third kind of medication and am currently trying to establish whether I can go back to university in a couple of weeks and everything’s a bit of a mess.
I miss fandom like crazy, but at the same time the depression means I don’t care about it in these huge swathes of shitty apathy which are pretty distressing, and I haven’t even read fic in months, let alone being able to write. I hate this because, for me, writing’s usually a pretty constant thing and right now I can’t even manage an update about my life for my personal journal let alone anything else. The only time I’ve written anything this summer was when I was on some kind of souped-up drug/brain mania that meant I produced about 10,000 words a day, but that’s mercifully stopped and mostly what I do is sleep all the time. So. I owe help_japan fics - I’m so sorry about this, by the way, when I signed up I was pretty sure I was heading for more positive things - and I would like to write things for the world, but anyway, this is my life now, I have no time limit on this fuckery, so we’ll see.
I just thought I ought to pop up and be like “hey, so, this is why I have vanished” in case anyone cared ;) Though frankly, if I was writing right now it would probably be gen Suits fic in which there’s a baby of some description that everyone cuddles a lot and I would not be a self-insert baby at all. Um. Fingers crossed for better things and stuff.
If you want to come hang out and chat fandom shit I’m usually pretty omnipresent on twitter - my username is @milkbutnotsugar - and whether we’ve ever spoken before or not, I like knowing people on there, so come say hi and I’ll follow you. Particularly if you have opinions on The Sarah Jane Adventures, Lucas Till being the most ridiculous human, Victoria Asher being the most flawless person, Pottermore, The Hobbit, if you ever watched The Hour, or have ever seen either Food Network Challenge or The Great British Bake Off. Although frankly all things are good.
This is all TL;DR, so basically: I’m not here, I’m “suffering from Generalised Anxiety Disorder and a severe case of depression” according to my psychiatrist’s letters, but the fact you guys exist is amazing, and I miss being around on here.
Love.
Jenn/Lady Paperclip
xxx