lost and unfound
gone are the feelings of excitement and anticipation for the new semester. this semester im starting to feel a little lost and confused.
maybe its knowing that in two years time i will no longer be entitled to the luxury of month long holidays. maybe its witnessing the whole networking while you're young thing. maybe its your midnight meals, super intense late into the night/wee hours of the morning conversations and wondering how i fit into that world of yours. maybe its watching my boss, in climbing the corporate ladder, sacrificing much of his youth. maybe its witnessing one too many friends fretting over job opportunities while donning a square brimmed hat and a dark colored robe. maybe its realizing how many saturdays i've sacrificed doing something just for the money. maybe its the desire to capture as much of youth as humanely possible, regardless of how illogical or irrational it is. we only live once, don't we? maybe its the fear that rather than not knowing what the future holds, the future is malleable, right here, right now, in my own two hands. and in this state of confusion, all i want is for time to stop for a sec, while i ponder and try to decide on the steps to take.
i hope for courage and faith this semester. courage in taking steps in independence and faith in the knowing that ultimately, every knot will become untangled and every crease, smoothened.
maybe its knowing that in two years time i will no longer be entitled to the luxury of month long holidays. maybe its witnessing the whole networking while you're young thing. maybe its your midnight meals, super intense late into the night/wee hours of the morning conversations and wondering how i fit into that world of yours. maybe its watching my boss, in climbing the corporate ladder, sacrificing much of his youth. maybe its witnessing one too many friends fretting over job opportunities while donning a square brimmed hat and a dark colored robe. maybe its realizing how many saturdays i've sacrificed doing something just for the money. maybe its the desire to capture as much of youth as humanely possible, regardless of how illogical or irrational it is. we only live once, don't we? maybe its the fear that rather than not knowing what the future holds, the future is malleable, right here, right now, in my own two hands. and in this state of confusion, all i want is for time to stop for a sec, while i ponder and try to decide on the steps to take.
i hope for courage and faith this semester. courage in taking steps in independence and faith in the knowing that ultimately, every knot will become untangled and every crease, smoothened.