(no subject)
It is amazing how fast I went from truly happy in my life and okay with who I am to completely lost and empty and scared. Thanks a lot, perfect storm of bullshit that entered my life. Thanks a lot, AA sponsor who told me everything that was wrong with me in a small room with no windows for eight hours. Thanks a lot, going off adipex after two years of being on it. Thanks a lot, people in my life who said just the right thing at just the right time to break down my self-worth. Thanks a lot, God, for letting this happen to me. Maybe it's all for a reason. Maybe I just need to hang in there. Maybe I just need to man up and adapt to survive. Whatever the case may be, I need to stop this cycle of self-loathing. I am the only one who can take care of me, and I know how. And I had better start fucking doing it. No, it won't be easy. But yes, it will be worth it, and maybe in time, I can even have some joy again.