someday your prince will come
Title: someday your prince will come
Pairing: kris/everyone, kris/chanyeol
Rating: pg-13
Wordcount: 8000w
A/N: i never meant for it to be so long but wow exo has so many characters. suspension of belief would be wise.
Once upon a time, there was a thriving country named SM. The queen of SM is known across the lands for her exquisite looks, as refreshing as a sip of the finest wine during the long night and as captivating as she is alluring. But more than anything, she is known for her extreme vanity. It is common knowledge that the palace is littered with reflective surfaces, be it mirrors, polished silver or large bodies of water, so that the queen can check herself out at any given moment.
When news of the queen's pregnancy with her first son spread across the land, celebrations were rife. The child would be good looking, for how could he not be? The king and the queen were an aesthetically blessed pair, and everyone held high hopes for the prince.
The queen did not doubt that her child would be beautiful (it was the most envious match of genetic material), but just to be sure she sought out the services of the most powerful fairy in the land. It is said that Jessica is powerful because she dabbles in the dark arts, but the queen did not mind the rumors, so long as her child is visually stunning. After all, being born beautiful is already half the battle won.
Jessica is waiting at the door of her tower when the queen visits, already anticipating the arrival of the queen's entourage. She hops down from the giant mushroom that she is perched upon and bows daintily, a thin arm tucked across the tutu covering her stomach in a graceful bow.
She lets a sly smile stretch across her lips as she ducks her head, her long blonde tresses framing her heart shaped face. She speaks slowly, her lovely voice belying no bad intentions, but the flash of mischief in her eyes speak otherwise. "I will grant him true beauty, your highness, but at a price."
"It's okay! Curse him with a short tongue for all I care!" The queen declares grandly, waving a glove-covered hand in the air. "Beauty is the most important thing in the world!"
And so Yifan is born, bright and beautiful. The first few years of his life are nerve wrecking as Yifan is watched day in and day out to see what imperfections he might have. Could he really have a short tongue? Be dim-witted? Be brash and abusive? As he grows up, it becomes clear that Yifan is as close to perfection as one can get, flaw-free in almost every way. His body is fit and healthy. He has impeccable manners. He is the smartest scholar in town, devouring books faster than his teachers can teach them. Sure, he has problems with flexibility but that might be more heredity than anything. Time passes, and the queen forgets about the curse.
"Yifan darling, don't smile so much," the queen often says, long fingers tipping Yifan's chin up so she can look at her son's sculpted face better. "You look better when you're impassive." And so,Yifan learns to arrange his features in the stoic expression that becomes his trademark.
This is how Yifan grows up. When Yifan smiles, a rare occasion, it is as if spring has come early. The birds seem to chirp a little louder, the sunshine warmth that envelops the earth. Girls sigh as Prince Yifan strides through the streets on his weekly rounds of the city and young men fall over themselves to befriend and impress the crown prince. Yifan is loved and envied.
He lives a perfect life, until the fateful day when Yifan wakes up to find a glimmering lady sitting on the edge of his bed.
Yian lets out a high-pitched shriek and tumbles out of bed, both of which he later denies.
Jessica has the kind of timeless beauty that raises hackles, where men badmouth her because they know they can never have her, and women hate her because they can never be her. Bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight, she is even more stunning, and Yifan is rendered speechless. She unfurls a fist to show a tiny hourglass, the size of a Yifan's thumb, attached to a long chain.
"You have two months to live," she says serenely, gaze fixed on Wufan until he feels goosebumps breaking out under his silk pajamas. Her eyes, an odd yet entrancing mix of silver and blue, reminds Yifan of diamonds. Big ones. Expensive ones. Shiny ones. "Unless you break the curse.”
"What?" Before Yifan can wrap his mind around the idea that there is an actual girl in his room, a living breathing girl, Jessica disappears in a puff of perfume smoke, leaving the hourglass pendant behind on his bed.
Yifan pokes at the hourglass, and after deciding that it is probably will not explode, picks it up gingerly. The dark blue sand grains shift in one half of the hourglass and a single grain falls to the bottom bulb. You have two months to live. Yifan realizes with a jolt that this is an indicator of his life.
He narrows his eyes. It has to be his mother's fault. It has to be.
"You promised what?" Yifan asks incredulously, eyebrows shooting into his fringe.
The queen waves a dismissive hand, not at all worried. "Darling, you are Prince Yifan. You'll figure out a way." She is surprisingly chipper for someone that has just been told of her son's impending doom. Then again, her high spirits might be due to the three bottles of vodka stashed in her jewelry drawer.
The king, thankfully, does not share his wife's nonchalance. He buries his head in his hands and breathes out heavily, crown almost tipping off his head. (It is 3am, Yifan thinks. Why is father wearing his crown?) There are wrinkles etched in his forehead from years of balancing a country and his wife's crazy antics. Straightening up, the king looks his son in his eyes and says tiredly, "I knew this day would come. Son, it is time you consulted the Wizard.
The Wizard turns out to be... Well, a wizard. He is the only wizard in the country, and he lives a life of seclusion in the middle of the enchanted forest. "Find him, and you shall break the curse," booms the king.
Yifan is handed a map consisting of a few squiggles, random crosses, scribbled place names and an odd stick figure dancing across the page. ("That’s me!" says Jonghyun, the court advisor, and the artist of the map.)
Wufan looks at the map, and starts planning his funeral.
After half of a day of traveling on his trusty stallion named Yixing, and several wrong turns (it turns out that the dark splotch on the parchment that Yifan thought indicated a body of water, was simply an ink blot), Yifan arrives at the large X marking the Wizard's hiding spot.
Yifan furrows his brow at the small cottage that is almost swallowed by the forest around it. The stone walls are covered with ivy leaves, leaving only cracks of grey stone peeking through. The only indication that there is a building at all is a large silver of bright red wood with a golden knocker settled among the foliage.
As if sensing Yifan's presence, there is a loud creak, and the door swings open, setting loose a rainfall of leaves and dust. Taking in a deep breath (and regretting it immediately as the dust enters his nostrils) Wufan sends a backwards glance at Yixing and steps into the dark house.
Instead of a wizened old man, he finds a young boy of maybe 19 or 20 drowning in robes. Startled, the boy looks up from where he is knee deep in books. His Harry Potter glasses that were perched precariously on the bridge of his nose falls off and bounces soundlessly against the open pages.
"Oh, sorry," Yifan bows and says apologetically. "I think I have the wrong-"
"I’m the Wizard!" the boy hastily shouts and shoots right up. His credibility diminishes even more when he trips over his robes, landing face first on the floor.
"Are you absolutely sure."
"Kim Jongdae, 174th Wizard of the land at your service!" Jongdae is strangely excited at the prospect of a visitor and says his introduction so fast that the words blend into each other. At Yifan's skeptical look, Jongdae is quick with reassurances. "I took over the 173rd wizard a year ago! I am qualified!" He points at the certificate hanging on the wall behind him, framed in obnoxious gold.
Yifan's first instinct is to hightail out of the cottage but then Jongdae grins at him, all pleased and expectant, and Yifan finds himself settling down on the futon and spilling out the whole story to a sympathetic Jongdae. Jongdae makes appropriate murmurs of disbelief at all the right places and screws his face up comically when Yifan finishes with "... And now I am to die in two months unless I break the curse."
"I will help you!" Jongdae pumps a fist in determination, adorably earnest. He strides over to the overflowing bookshelves and pulls out a thick tome after a few seconds of contemplation. "There you go! The big book of spells! I'm a little rusty 'cause you're my first visitor in a year-"
"What?"
Jongdae ignores Yifan and chatters on animatedly. He lugs the heavy book over to his table with some difficulty and pulls out his wand. "I’ll just cast a finding spell and we'll have your curse broken in no time!"
Yifan nods and gives the young wizard a wide berth, partly because he respects Jongdae’s workspace, but also because he's frankly kind of afraid. It soon becomes apparent that despite the initial cheerfulness and confidence, Jongdae is having some problems. When another page explodes for the second time, Yifan pipes up out of concern, "Are you... Okay?"
"I don't know, man, I'm pretty new at this." Jongdae frowns and waves his wand again. Sparks fly out of the wand, but not the pretty ooo-look-sparklers kind. Rather, the sparks seem deadly, and prove to be dangerous when one spark singes a hole in Jongdae’s robes.
"Is that supposed to happen?" Yifan asks and Jongdae answers quickly, "Sure." His tone is anything but convincing, but for the sake of his sanity Yifan chooses to believe him. Still, Yifan can't help but think that it would be faster and perhaps safer to flip through the book manually to look for a way to break the curse, instead of using a locating spell.
After nearly setting himself on fire (Yifan manages to step on the tiny flame licking at the edge of Jongdae’s robes just in time) Jongdae finally yips happily, "A ha! How to break a marked demise curse!" The book shudders and shakes, and the pages flip in a flurry, finally settling on a yellowing page.
Jongdae’s sharp cheekbones push up as he smiles proudly, showing Yifan the tiny scrawled text. "It says here that you have to kiss a princess and the curse will be broken. But she has to be the love of your life!"
"Find the love of my life and I can live?" Yifan repeats as a confirmation. Oh. That seems easy enough. After all, he is Prince Yifan, man of everyone's dreams regardless of sexual preference. How hard can it be?
His quest for his princess begins the next day, without him even trying.
Yifan rubs his eyes sleepily as he walks down the stairs of the inn, heading for the dining room. The smell of breakfast perks him up, and he almost salivates at the thought of bacon, drizzled in maple syrup, with a side of ketchup doused eggs.
What he does not expect to see, is seven men of stunted growth, staring at him. Yifan has heard of dwarfs before, and he has always thought of them as short and stocky creatures, grumpy at nature for cursing them in the height department. He imagined ugly, thick-skinned creatures, with dirty beards and more body hair than a gorilla. Instead, he is pleasantly surprised to find seven clean-shaven, fresh faced pretty boys, all dressed like they just stepped out of some dandy summer fashion catalogue.
Yifan is particularly intrigued by the dwarf who literally stands out. Unlike his friends (Yifan assumes that they are acquaintances) who have small statures, his height is almost like a very tall 10 year old boy. He towers over the other dwarves by a whole head and from the way a tiny frown settles across his pink lips when he notices Yifan staring at him, he is none too pleased at being different.
"Are you a dwarf, too?" Yifan asks curiously, unable to help himself.
The dwarf in question pouts and the dwarf next to him, the one with the puffy cheeks and coke bottle glasses, speaks up for his companion. "This is Sungyeol. He's just... Special."
Beside them, another dwarf laughs so hard he topples off his chair, earning a kick in the side from Sungyeol.
"If we'll just ignore Dongwoo here," the dwarf who seems to be in charge, the shortest one of them all with tiny beady eyes, speaks up authoratively, "We hear that you're a prince and-"
"We’ve got a comatose princess and we need you to wake him up," cuts in the prettiest of all the dwarfs. This dwarf lets a smile light up his feminine features and sticks out a hand for Wufan to shake. "I'm Sungjong, and we have a situation."
"Let me get this straight," Yifan says slowly, as if repeating it at a more deliberate pace would make it less ridiculous. "So I just. Kiss her. This complete stranger. And it'll wake her up?"
"Her name is Lu Han," supplies the bright-eyed dwarf with the cheeks that he now knows as Woohyun.
Yifan shakes his head and flips his fringe back with a hand. "Knowing her name doesn't make it less wrong." He wants a princess, yes, but he doesn't want a sexual harassment case on his ass, because that would certainly complicate things. His mug shot would be very good looking though. The queen would probably frame it up and hang it in the grand hall.
All protests die in his throat when Yifan sees Lu Han.
If Yifan were to list down all attributes that he finds attractive in a girl, he would just be describing Lu Han. Skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony. Lu Han lies in a bed of red rose petals, a picture of youth and grace. The petals only seem to amplify her radiance, drawing attention to her smooth unblemished skin. Just looking at her, Yifan finds it all too easy to imagine her startling beauty drawing out the jealous claws of females, ultimately leading to her untimely demise. If Yifan’s handsome looks were carved by a curse, he holds no doubt that Lu Han, too, was cursed with beauty beyond belief.
The dwarfs titter in excitement as Yifan takes purposeful strides towards the sleeping princess. He closes the distance and gently cups Lu Han’s face with his right hand. For a moment he just stands there unmoving as he drinks in the princess' beautiful features.
So this is it. This is the girl that he would bring back to his kingdom, the girl who he would wed, and eventually have three children together with. And of course, this is the girl that will save his life. He’s quite pleased that his search is so efficient, turning up results before he has even officially begun. Yifan smiles to himself, basking in the life changing moment. Mother would like her.
One of the dwarfs let out a cough, and this draws Yifan’s attention back to the matter on hand. Gently, he wraps an arm around the sleeping princess and pulls her close. Just as softly, he brushes his lips across the princess, testing for a reaction. As soon as their lips touch, Lu Han stirs, just a twitch of the shoulders, and Yifan takes this as a positive cue to deepen the kiss.
With Lu Han now fully awake, she snakes her arms around his neck and their bodies are tugged closer. Her lips part in a sigh; of contentment, Yifan would like to think.
Suddenly, something hard presses into his thigh, and Yifan opens his eyes just a bit to peek down and- "Gah!" startled, Yifan pulls back and gasps out, "This isn't supposed to happen!"
Lu Han falls back onto the bed of roses and smiles lazily. "Mmm, someone higher born like me shouldn't be so proactive but hey, we have to work for what we want, right?"
"No, I meant that!" Yifan gestures wildly at the general direction of Lu Han’s crotch, where a rather impressive natural reaction is taking place.
Lu Han blinks innocently before realization dawns on his face. "Did the dwarves not tell you that I'm a dude?" He turns to glare at the seven intruders hiding behind the surrounding trees and spits out, "Again?"
"Princes are less willing to kiss another prince!" calls out Sungyeol before ducking back behind Sunggyu.
Yifan is too busy being mildly mortified to verbally confirm that fact.
"Any chance that you'll stay?" Lu Han asks, lower lip jutting out in a pout. He looks lovely settled among the red flower petals, and his expression is so angelic that Yifan just wants to stay with Lu Han forever. They could hold hands and frolic in the meadows while singing a merry song of love. But no, Yifan is a man on a mission.
He nods determinedly to himself, and misunderstanding him, Lu Han’s face brightens. "Wait, no-" Yifan quickly changes his nod to a shake of his head and holds out both palms in front of him. "I am afraid that i am a cursed man, and your lovely presence will not save me from my suffering."
Halfway through Yifan's dramatic ramblings, Lu Han rolls his eyes and settles back down on his bed of roses. He closes his eyes and clasps his hands in front of his chest, waiting for his next prince to arrive.
Yifan huffs because Lu Han sure dismissed him quickly. And to think they were just sharing a kiss mere minutes before. Yifan is the savior of Lu Han’s life! Talk about gratitude.
Oh well. Life moves on. He beckons for his horse, who has been hiding among the shadows. "Come Yixing, we must move forward!"
Yixing kicks up his front legs and neighs.
Yifan is knocking down his second coffee of the day in a quiet tavern (alcohol ages you, thank you very much) when there is a tap on his arm.
"I hear you're looking for a princess," the boy who tapped his arm whispers nervously. His eyes are wide and round, and they dart around uneasily, like the ticking pendulum of a grandfather clock. “I can bring you to Prince Jongin. He might know a princess or two."
Yifan sets down his coffee, licks the foam off his upper lip, and asks, "Can I trust you? You keep doing that with your eyes, and it's very shifty."
The boy immediately looks offended, eyebrows furrowing. Yifan thinks that this boy could use an appointment with his facialist. Those eyebrows are simply tragic. "No, this is just the way I look."
Because he has nothing to lose (Dying in two months here!) Yifan agrees to follow the boy who introduces himself as Kyungsoo, the royal servant to Prince Jongin.
Too young, the prince is, a boy of nary 18, but seduction pours from his every movement, every calculated smile, every heavy lidded gaze. Prince Jongin is sprawled against a large velvet couch, legs thrown open too wide for Yifan’s comfort.
Wufan swallows as he watches Jongin's mouth close around a grape, sucking it almost obscenely before taking it in whole with a pop.
Then the prince speaks, voice low and suggestive. "I'm Jongin. I'm hot, you're hot, let's fuck."
Wufan chokes on his saliva.
"But you're not a princess," Yifan points out, once he's stopped coughing.
"I could call you oppa if you want," Jongin offers and Yifan snorts. Jongin frowns. "So, no fucking?"
"No fucking," Yifan confirms. Prince Jongin's happiness index immediately drops proportionately to servant Kyungsoo's own happiness index. From the corner of Yifan's eyes, he can see a smile taking over Kyungsoo's face. Seems like when Kyungsoo pledged his life to serve the prince, he pledged a bit of his heart as well.
To his credit, Prince Jongin is incredibly courteous with the rejection, and takes it all in stride. He offers Yifan a room for as long as he wishes, and has Yixing placed in the care of the royal stables, where his mane is combed and braided with ribbons. Yixing tosses his mane with newly found confidence, making the female mares moony eyed.
In the long corridor stretching to Yifan's assigned room, Jongin's cousin, Minseok waits. He's heard from the chambermaids that Prince Yifan is looking for a princess, and while he lacks several lady bits and has a few... more... extra things, he's sure that these are all tiny, irrelevant matters. He caught a glimpse of Yifan when the traveling prince entered the palace grounds and was blown away with how much Yifan fit the image of the prince of his dreams- tall, regal and handsome, riding in upon a graceful beast of a horse.
Minseok is a resourceful dreamer, and is not above dressing up in a flowing baby blue dress and donning a brunette wig to hook Yifan.
And so when Yifan heads off to sleep, he's assaulted by a cloud of perfume, and then a blur of blue.
By this point in his travels, Wufan is no longer surprised by random people jumping out at him suddenly. He simply steadies his footing, crosses his arms, and glares straight at his assailant.
"I am Min," a high-pitched voice squeaks out.
Yifan increases the intensity of his stare and the smile in front of him falters. The boy in the wig droops his shoulders and admits, "...Seokkie."
"Prince Jongin's cousin, I’ve heard?" Yifan says, amused. "You’re not the first prince masquerading as a princess that I’ve encountered on my travels."
Minseok deflates at this piece of news, but quickly recovers. He decides to go ahead with his plan, determined to bag the prince of his dreams. "Do you like soccer?" Minseok leans forward until he is all but invading Yifan's personal space.
"Not particularly, no," Yifan says politely, chalking up the whole Imma-breathe-in-your-face situation as a culture thing.
Wrong answer. Minseok immediately withdraws, hissing like he's been stung. "I do not want to deal with haters like you. Leave!"
Yifan is all too happy to comply.
Jongin’s palace is warm and spacious, and it doesn’t take much for Yifan to accept Jongin’s offer for him to stay for a week. His search for a princess is taking longer than he expected, and Yixing is showing signs of wear. Yifan figures that a few days of rest in a lavish palace would do them both good. In the meantime, he wanders around the town, exploring the nooks and crannies of the winding streets and old buildings.
It is during one of his market place visits that he meets the travelling fortuneteller named Joonmyun.
He is drawn to the tent housing the fortuneteller by the large, gaudy sign hanging outside.
FORTUNE TELLING
CHEEP AND ACCURATE.
As someone who has been brought up to appreciate the beauty of grammar, Yifan can’t help but pop into the tent to inform the fortuneteller of the spelling mistake.
The fortuneteller, who later introduces himself as Joonmyun, lets his shoulders fall glumly. "Oh, so that's why I haven't had many customers!" He recovers quickly, and flashes Wufan a warm smile that takes over his face. “Would you like some tea?"
Yifan is strangely reminded of his grandfather back at home, so he can’t say no to the friendly fortuneteller. Besides, the cookies that were offered with the tea do look kind of tasty. No one says no to cookies.
Over tea, Yifan spills out his entire story, ending with Minseok's second surprise visit while Yifan is bathing, to which he confirmed that Wufan does not like soccer before scampering out of his room again. Jongin had to sit Minseok down after that and give him a mini lecture about personal space. ("Ambushing people while they are naked is not normal, Minseok." "But why?")
Joonmyun remains silent throughout Yifan’s tale, and as Wufan complains about the lack of women in the lands, Joonmyun places a hand on Yifan’s and interrupts, "Excuse me for the intrusion, but Prince Yifan, what country are we in?"
Yifan wrinkles in his brow in confusion. "Uh, Sowon?"
To his surprise, Joonmyun bursts out laughing, streams of hearty laughter rocking his small body. Yifan is mildly annoyed, until Joonmyun manages to gasp out, "So- Sowon? That's the next country, silly. We're EXO, the country of men."
"Country of men?" Of course! The crappy map that Jonghyun gave him ended up falling apart after three days and Yifan decided to trust his amazing direction sense, despite having no idea where Sowon is actually located. He should've just turned left instead of right at the damned fork road. It's just that the pink flowers in the left lane were turning him off, and what was with that ugly sign riddled with pink ribbons spelling out Sowon in the left lane- oh.
"We don't have princesses!" Joonmyun says brightly.
"I see none of you possess much language skills either," Yifan snipes, just because he's feeling particularly passive aggressive.
Joonmyun chooses to ignore Yifan's insult. Yifan suspects that this is how the fortuneteller deals with prickly matters. Just ignore everything icky and go full steam ahead! "Yes! We are famous for our abundance of good looking male royals," he chirps and explains further, "all the eligible females are snapped up as soon as they come of age so as time passes everyone just changes their preference a little. We’re a bit starved for love, you see."
Ah, that explains the princes throwing themselves at Yifan left and right.
No longer laughing, Joonmyun pats Yifan on the back sympathetically. Yifan is frozen in shock, teacup halfway to his lips. Joonmyun gently intercepts the cup and sets it down on the table. "I understand this is sudden news, but please, no harming the china."
Yifan clears his throat and asks slowly, "So what are the chances of me finding a princess?”
Joonmyun smiles at him. "Almost zero, i should think."
“Oh.” There is a pause. "Well, in all honesty I never fancied myself a princess."
Joonmyun nods solemnly. "I figured."
"You reckon a prince will break my curse?"
"Let me check. I have the book of spells memorized." Joonmyun closes his eyes and presses his left hand to his temple. He flicks the air with a finger, as if he flipping through the imaginary pages of his memory bank. "Yeap. As long as he or she is a royal."
"Well, that changes things." They sit in silence as they contemplate the changed situation. Joonmyun rubs his chin for good measure.
Then Joonmyun pipes up, "Do you want your fortune told?" Joonmyun looks up at him with hope shining in his eyes. He pats his crystal ball lovingly and rubs it a few times.
"Yeah.... I do!" Yifan says as he begins to slowly back away towards the flap of the tent. "Just after I uh, buy a donkey- Bye!" Yifan ducks out of the tent and runs for Yixing.
At the new revelation, Yifan actually feels relieved. Thinking about it, princesses are bratty and stuffy and he’s never quite felt comfortable around one. Girls are delicate and soft and squishy and Yifan feels like he'll break them with his immense strength. He needs someone more durable. Guys are durable. Yes. Mounting Yixing, he sets off with renewed spirits.
Off to find a prince!
It's been a long week. He's been trekking through the countryside for four days and he's barely seen any signs of life. Occasionally he passes by a town or two, but they don't even speak any of the three languages (and one dialect!) that Yifan knows, and he figures that a language barrier is as good as any reason to eliminate a possible match.
He's deciding between the grassy path at the fork road and the dirt path when someone pipes up behind him.
Yifan topples off Yixing and rights himself immediately, assuming a ninja pose with his arms prepared to strike. "I AM LEARNED IN FOUR TYPES OF MARTIAL ARTS."
"Hi, I'm Baekhyun!" The boy standing in front of him has a mess of floppy hair that almost covers his eyes, and he looks much too young to be wandering around alone.
Yifan slowly lowers his hands. He looks stupid trying to ninja chop the air and Prince Yifan is much too dignified to look stupid. Besides, it is probably not wise to attack commoners. "Hello," he says warily. Considering the people he's met in his travels so far, it is understandable to be hesitant.
Baekhyun presses himself against Yixing's side and practically breathes into his fur. "Nice horse! Are you on an adventure? Let me follow! I do love adventures. OOOOOOO."
Yifan gently wrangles Baekhyun away before he scares the stallion. "No, go away. I don't entertain brats."
Baekhyun smiles, and Yifan gets distracted by the sparkling pearly whites long enough for Baekhyun to hop onto Yixing. Yixing neighs in distress, but calms down when Baekhyun rummages in his pocket and pulls out a lint-covered sugar cube.
"Bribing my horse with your filthy candy," Yifan spits out, but makes no move to throw Baekhyun off the horse.
Baekhyun pets Yixing's mane and says, "Look, I know a prince around here. If you let me follow you, I’ll direct you to the tower."
Yifan quirks an eyebrow. Oh? Well then, he just gained himself a passenger.
The tower is a 45 minutes ride, which is 15 minutes away from the end of Yifan's patience. Baekhyun is a friendly boy, a little too friendly, as apparent from the way he never stops talking. Yifan is in the middle of conveying silent instructions to Yixing to kick Baekhyun off him when Baekhyun shrieks happily and points at the tower looming in the distance.
As with all fairy tales, a challenge lies ahead for the prince that is willing to brave the elements to find his princess. Thick thorny bushes wrap themselves around the sides of the tower and roses the size of Yifan's fist blooms bright and beautiful. It is a magnificent, but daunting sight.
"Let me through, young lad!" Yifan declares dramatically to Baekhyun, unsheathing his sword and brandishing it in front of him. "This is a job for a real man!"
"Um, princey," Baekhyun interrupts. "This is all very manly and cool of you, but there's a backdoor."
Yifan lets his arms, which are raised above his head, fall to his side and he snaps, irritated. "Well, why didn't you say so?"
Baekhyun leads Yifan around the tower to a small wooden door, barely tall enough to fit Baekhyun, much less Yifan.
"This place gives me the creeps." Baekhyun shudders and yelps once when his arm brushes against a protruding branch. "I’ll just leave you to it, princey." With that, he scampers off, disappearing into the undergrowth.
Yixing whines once, loud and demanding, stomping his foot to get Yifan's attention.
"What did you say, Yixing?" Yifan leans forward to press his nose into the space between Yixing's eyes, nuzzling the rough hair lining the stallion's head.
Yixing shakes his head in annoyance and lets out a snort.
Yifan chuckles and smoothes down Yixing's ears. "You saw a ninja? Seriously, Yixing, you have such an active imagination."
Yixing swishes his tail up to whack Yifan on the chest.
On the way to the tower, Baekhyun has briefed Yifan about the curious incident of Sleeping Beauty. A young prince drew so much jealousy with his good looks that a witch put a curse on him damning him to eternal sleep, unless awoken by the kiss of his One True Love.
"Witches are romantics," Yifan observes.
Yifan sympathizes with Prince Sehun's situation because all that cursed business? Yifan knows firsthand how much it sucks. Maybe their hearts would be bounded just like they are both bounded by a curse. Breaking curses together, that's a very romantic thing to do, something to tell their grandchildren about. It would make a great love story, because who needs Romeo and Juliet when you have marked demises and eternal sleep?
Yifan bursts into the room hidden in the top of the tower and gasps. If he thought Luhan was beautiful, Sehun is all that and more. An oval face with a sharp chin, a long nose and pink lips, the palest skin Yifan has ever seen, paired with a lean body that does not possess a hint of the litheness that Luhan has.
Thankfully, Yifan has this whole kissing random comatose strangers thing down pat, and barely hesitates in leaning across the beautiful boy sleeping peacefully in soon-to-be broken eternal slumber.
Odd, Sehun's lips are cold and hard, almost like he's kissing a stick. Then again, all that lying down for centuries must have cut off blood circulation somehow. Then the pressure against his lips increases, until his lips are forced apart and something very solid collides against his teeth. Something that is definitely not fleshy lips.
Yifan's eyes fly open in shock. At the sight in front of him, he can only gasp out (shriek?), "NINJA."
There is a boy standing in front of him, fully clad in black. Only his eyes are visible, dark and piercing. "My name is Zitao, and I have dedicated my life to finding and protecting Prince Sehun." His voice is calm and low, which adds to his intimidating presence.
"You aren't doing a very good job," Wufan points out. "Especially since you found him at the same time I did."
He clamps his mouth shut when Zitao's glare only intensifies. They both stare at each other in uncomfortable silence for several beats.
Then Wufan gets impatient and gestures at Prince Sehun. "Well, what are you waiting for? Kiss him!"
Zitao's entire body jerks, so horrified at the thought he is. "And sully the prince?"
"Again, failing at this saving business." Rolling his eyes, Yifan sticks his hand out and shoves Zitao. Zitao's mouth drops open and his arms swing around wildly as he falls ungracefully. Yifan watches with a satisfied smirk as Zitao's face crashes right into Sehun's, smashing their lips and noses together.
There is a moment of silence, as Zitao recoils in horror. He is short of frantic as he hurries away from the now awakening prince, trying to quell his bubbling hysteria. Immediately he drops onto his knees and bows down until his forehead is touching the ground. "I am sorry, your majesty!" Yifan thinks that Zitao would probably have slit his throat on the spot, if a sword were available. I have attempted the absolute sin and what not. Them ninjas always were dramatic.
Sehun's eyes peek open and he shifts his head to peer at the boy on the ground. "Are you my savior? Rise, my hero."
After a brief moment of hesitation, Zitao gets on his feet. He smiles proudly and executes a perfect 90 degrees bow. "That I am. Huang Zitao, at your service."
Sehun blinks at the other boy for a few seconds, fingers resting lightly on his lips. Then, with the most bratty shriek possible, "Oh my god you took my first kiss. I do hope you'll take responsibility." Sehun huffs and folds his arms across his chest. There is a flurry of expressions flitting across Zitao's face, like he's torn between feeling love struck or annoyed.
Yifan quietly slips out of the room, glad that he dodged that bullet.
"We are going to die, Yixing," Yifan says mournfully to his horse. Yixing snorts, and Yifan corrects himself, "I am going to die."
"I do hope not!" comes a concerned voice behind them.
Yifan has developed immunity against sudden voices and manages not to start this time. He turns around slowly, keeping a bored expression on his face. However, his feigned disinterest only lasts for all of two seconds.
Standing in front of him is what must be the most beautiful creation God has ever given to earth. Surreal, is the first word that pops up in Yifan's mind because this tall and handsome stranger must be a figment of his imagination. Such perfection cannot possibly exist in real life.
"Wow, you're hot," Yifan says, seemingly having lost his brain-to-mouth filter somewhere along his third botched kiss with a princess-turned-prince.
The boy brings a hand up to his face in embarrassment, covering a toothy grin. Yifan finds his sticky out ears adorable. He finds the messy curls masquerading as hair adorable. He even finds the twitch in his left eye adorable. The crazed mad man look is really up Yifan's alley, he discovers.
"You're hot too," the boy replies shyly and wow that voice, so unbefitting the boyish face. Can he bottle that voice and sell it because imagine listening to that voice every day! Yifan is pretty sure that if he were a little less manly, he would've gone weak in the knees upon hearing that deep baritone, but Yifan is manly Wufan, so he maybe just squeals internally a little. Just a little.
"Tell me your name, boy," Yifan booms, unconsciously using his Royal tone.
"Chanyeol! My name is Chanyeol!" The boy introduces himself brightly, a quick nod of his head in place of a bow.
Yifan is thoroughly star struck, so entranced by this boy's entire being, which would make his next statement forgivable. "You a prince? Please tell me you are." Behind them, Yixing lets out a snort of amusement but Yifan is too far gone to even feel embarrassment.
Chanyeol oddly, takes it as a compliment, and his large ears tinge pink. "I wish I was, sir."
"Don't call me sir, call me Yifan," Yifan corrects softly, wanting to disarm all formalities between them. He wants to reach out for the boy and run his fingers through that intriguing hair. How does it curl that way? How does it curl that way and still make Chanyeol look so thoroughly fuckable?
"Yi-?" At the name Chanyeol's eyes widen in realization and he lets out a cry of alarm. He immediately falls to his knees, and presses his forehead to the sandy ground, voice increasing in volume and urgency. "I apologize, Prince Yifan. Forgive me for not recognizing you at first sight!"
"No!" Alarmed, Yifan pulls Chanyeol up and reaches down to dust the boy's knees. "Never bow down to me again. This is an order."
Chanyeol stares at Yifan, body frozen in fear. Yifan changes tactic and says softly, "Please, as a friend, I ask you."
Chanyeol visibly relaxes but his face is still hesitant and wary. He glances down at where Yifan has a loose grip on his shoulder and bites his lip.
Yifan feels strangely nervous around this boy, something he's never quite felt before. All his life, he's always been proud and confident. He's always known how to handle people, and knows just the right amount of attention to lavish on a partner. Chanyeol, though, has just been in his vicinity for five minutes and already Yifan feels like everything he has learned in his past is slipping away, irrelevant to the significance of the present. He imagines a future together, so real that he almost thinks he's living it and the desperation to convey this to Chanyeol so the other boy understands how he feels consumes him. He wants Chanyeol to say yes, needs Chanyeol to say yes.
In the stories, love always seemed so easy, so he hopes this would be the case this time. In approaching the subject, he decides to be frank, because honesty is sometimes the easiest way to another's heart. Looking right into Chanyeol's eyes, Yifan says with as much sincerity as he can possibly muster, "I am in search of a prince, and I want you to be him."
Chanyeol's arm flies out as he almost smacks Yifan in the face as he flails around in alarm. "Prince- I am no! What! Me? Yes! I mean, no!"
Faced with a panicking Chanyeol, Wufan does the only thing he knows how to do. He grabs Chanyeol's arm and pulls him into a tight embrace, holding him against his chest until the boy stops struggling. Only when Chanyeol stops hyperventilating does Yifan loosen his grip, allowing Chanyeol to take half a step back.
"You sure you're not a prince?" Yifan holds Chanyeol gingerly, searching his eyes. There's something in his tone that makes Chanyeol realize that Yifan is dead serious, and the flicker of uncertainty is back.
Chanyeol is attracted to him too, Yifan knows this. He can tell in the quickening of Chanyeol's heart when Yifan holds him, in the hitch of his breath when Yifan runs his hand down Chanyeol's arms, in the rays of desire surfacing from behind the clouds of apprehension. His suspicions are confirmed when Chanyeol finally offers, a hint of pride more than obvious in his voice, "Well, my dad is known as the King of Bagels."
"That makes you bagel royalty! It's perfect!" In his joy Yifan almost plants a kiss on Chanyeol's inviting lips, but he finally understands the difference between true love and mere interest. With Lu Han and Sehun, there is no hesitation in initiating the kiss, just a pure spark of physical desire. With Chanyeol, Yifan wants to take it slow, explore the other more and prove that what he feels is beyond physical attraction. He doesn't want to scare the boy away, but wants to mark him as his all the same. Yifan settles for an old fashioned kiss to the back of Chanyeol's hand, and the smile that lights up Chanyeol's face is more than what a kiss can ever ignite.
The long trip back to SM is sweet, with Yifan wrapping his arms around Chanyeol and sneaking so many kisses that Yixing almost throws them off his back.
At the inn in JYP nation where they crashed for the night, Chanyeol brings up the curse. “Isn’t the curse the reason why you begin this journey in the first place?” he asks as he runs a finger down Yifan’s arm playfully, making goosebumps break out across Yifan’s skin.
“Curse?” Yifan’s mind is groggy from sleep and the warmth of having Chanyeol wrapped in his arms, so it takes his mind more than a few seconds to shift through his words and process the information. “Oh, curse!”
He leaps up from the bed and fetches the hourglass pendant from where it is carefully tucked into his jacket’s pocket.
They watch the hourglass with bated breath.
One, two, three seconds and nothing happens. Yifan is about to sigh in relief when a single grain drops. The fall is silent but echoes in the lovebirds’ ears, rising above the din of the bar on the ground floor.
“Fuck,” Yifan says.
Undisguised hurt flashes across Chanyeol's eyes. "I'm not your one true love?"
“You are, you are!” Yifan reassures quickly. He shakes the hourglass a few times and frowns. “This must be broken!”
Chanyeol turns over until his back is facing Yifan and refuses to respond to the prince for the rest of the night, leaving Yifan staring at his hourglass in frustration.
Jongdae excitedly welcomes them into his home, tripping over a cauldron again in his haste to open the door wider. The smile on his mouth immediate drops when Yifan glumly informs him that the kiss of his One True Love has done nothing to break the curse.
“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!” Jongdae scrambles for the spell book and flips it open, quickly uttering a finding spell to locate the page.
Yifan and Chanyeol watch anxiously as Jongdae’s expression turns from anxiety to confusion to something that looks suspiciously like guilt. “Oh dear.”
The final “oh dear” from Jongdae has Yifan knitting his eyebrow together. That is not a good “oh dear”; that is a well-I-fucked-up-majorly “oh dear”. Yifan’s fingers twitch, pulling into a fist.
Jongdae pulls at his collar and flashes them all a nervous grin. "Did I say princess? I meant peony. To lift the curse crush five peonies and marinate some chicken in it. I totally said marinate didn't I? Heh. Funny thing these spells and crystal balls. Connection gets murky- Oof!"
Jongdae only narrowly escapes being pummeled to death by Yifan because Chanyeol is there to hold Yifan off.
The city is thrown into confusion when Prince Yifan returns, holding the hand of not the most beautiful lady across the land, but an awkward gangly boy with sticky out ears, a boy almost as tall as he.
The queen, especially, is thrown off by the sudden turn of events, but when Chanyeol smiles, she is dazzled and welcomes the boy through the gates.
"And now we celebrate!" She announces gaily, an elegant hand sweeping across the crowd gathered in the banquet hall awaiting Yifan’s return. The hall bursts into a roar of celebration, loud music punctuated with the sound of champagne bottles popping.
But what about the throne?
"Well," the king says, scratching the back of his right ear. "I suppose this is as good a time as any to reveal a life altering birth secret."
Yifan widens his eyes and presses a hand to his chest. "Am I adopted?"
"What, no! Do you remember Yunho?"
Everyone nods. It's hard to forget the handsome stable boy, built like a model, and with a lovely smile to match.
The king lifts his chin and adopts a suitably regal tone to make the announcement. Everyone holds their breath and leans in just a bit closer. "He’s your older brother. I have been training him in the ways of the throne since he was born. Technically he's the crown prince."
Suddenly the way Yunho constantly dotes on Yifan makes sense. He was the one who taught Yifan how to ride, and personally picked Yixing out for Yifan when Yifan was 10. Wufan has always just brushed off Yunho's attention for him as an unrequited crush and was too nice to refuse the older boy's adoration.
Yunho steps out from where he was hidden in the shadows. The smile on his face is tentative and shy, because it's the appropriate expression to make when you are suddenly revealed as a love child to the country. Yunho's eyes study Yifan, gauging his reaction quietly.
Yifan takes a step forward and Yunho visibly swallows, his face tensing up like he's half expecting Yifan to chop off his head.
"Hyung," Yifan says with warmth in his voice, and the relief on Yunho’s face is obvious, tension melting away immediately. Yifan grins and pulls Yunho into a tight hug. He’s always called Yunho that, but this time the term carries a whole new meaning. Everyone coos at the display of affection between the newly reunited brothers, and celebration resume into the night.
"You were robbed of your throne," Chanyeol says when they are in Yifan's room later that night. Chanyeol's eyes follow Yifan as he strips off, pure adoration in his eyes. He doesn't sound sorry, though. Hard to be sorry, when the circumstances allow you to have Yifan, in all his manga character glory.
Yifan's knees make the bed dip as he climbs next to Chanyeol to nuzzle him in the neck. "But now I can devote my life to loving you."
Sexy times are put off for the ten minutes that it takes Chanyeol to keep his hysterical laughter under check.
And they lived happily ever after.
end.
\o/ i wrote krisyeol, y'all. i am so so so busy lately i am suffocating and this was a short escape for me. back to work ;A;
Pairing: kris/everyone, kris/chanyeol
Rating: pg-13
Wordcount: 8000w
A/N: i never meant for it to be so long but wow exo has so many characters. suspension of belief would be wise.
Once upon a time, there was a thriving country named SM. The queen of SM is known across the lands for her exquisite looks, as refreshing as a sip of the finest wine during the long night and as captivating as she is alluring. But more than anything, she is known for her extreme vanity. It is common knowledge that the palace is littered with reflective surfaces, be it mirrors, polished silver or large bodies of water, so that the queen can check herself out at any given moment.
When news of the queen's pregnancy with her first son spread across the land, celebrations were rife. The child would be good looking, for how could he not be? The king and the queen were an aesthetically blessed pair, and everyone held high hopes for the prince.
The queen did not doubt that her child would be beautiful (it was the most envious match of genetic material), but just to be sure she sought out the services of the most powerful fairy in the land. It is said that Jessica is powerful because she dabbles in the dark arts, but the queen did not mind the rumors, so long as her child is visually stunning. After all, being born beautiful is already half the battle won.
Jessica is waiting at the door of her tower when the queen visits, already anticipating the arrival of the queen's entourage. She hops down from the giant mushroom that she is perched upon and bows daintily, a thin arm tucked across the tutu covering her stomach in a graceful bow.
She lets a sly smile stretch across her lips as she ducks her head, her long blonde tresses framing her heart shaped face. She speaks slowly, her lovely voice belying no bad intentions, but the flash of mischief in her eyes speak otherwise. "I will grant him true beauty, your highness, but at a price."
"It's okay! Curse him with a short tongue for all I care!" The queen declares grandly, waving a glove-covered hand in the air. "Beauty is the most important thing in the world!"
And so Yifan is born, bright and beautiful. The first few years of his life are nerve wrecking as Yifan is watched day in and day out to see what imperfections he might have. Could he really have a short tongue? Be dim-witted? Be brash and abusive? As he grows up, it becomes clear that Yifan is as close to perfection as one can get, flaw-free in almost every way. His body is fit and healthy. He has impeccable manners. He is the smartest scholar in town, devouring books faster than his teachers can teach them. Sure, he has problems with flexibility but that might be more heredity than anything. Time passes, and the queen forgets about the curse.
"Yifan darling, don't smile so much," the queen often says, long fingers tipping Yifan's chin up so she can look at her son's sculpted face better. "You look better when you're impassive." And so,Yifan learns to arrange his features in the stoic expression that becomes his trademark.
This is how Yifan grows up. When Yifan smiles, a rare occasion, it is as if spring has come early. The birds seem to chirp a little louder, the sunshine warmth that envelops the earth. Girls sigh as Prince Yifan strides through the streets on his weekly rounds of the city and young men fall over themselves to befriend and impress the crown prince. Yifan is loved and envied.
He lives a perfect life, until the fateful day when Yifan wakes up to find a glimmering lady sitting on the edge of his bed.
Yian lets out a high-pitched shriek and tumbles out of bed, both of which he later denies.
Jessica has the kind of timeless beauty that raises hackles, where men badmouth her because they know they can never have her, and women hate her because they can never be her. Bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight, she is even more stunning, and Yifan is rendered speechless. She unfurls a fist to show a tiny hourglass, the size of a Yifan's thumb, attached to a long chain.
"You have two months to live," she says serenely, gaze fixed on Wufan until he feels goosebumps breaking out under his silk pajamas. Her eyes, an odd yet entrancing mix of silver and blue, reminds Yifan of diamonds. Big ones. Expensive ones. Shiny ones. "Unless you break the curse.”
"What?" Before Yifan can wrap his mind around the idea that there is an actual girl in his room, a living breathing girl, Jessica disappears in a puff of perfume smoke, leaving the hourglass pendant behind on his bed.
Yifan pokes at the hourglass, and after deciding that it is probably will not explode, picks it up gingerly. The dark blue sand grains shift in one half of the hourglass and a single grain falls to the bottom bulb. You have two months to live. Yifan realizes with a jolt that this is an indicator of his life.
He narrows his eyes. It has to be his mother's fault. It has to be.
"You promised what?" Yifan asks incredulously, eyebrows shooting into his fringe.
The queen waves a dismissive hand, not at all worried. "Darling, you are Prince Yifan. You'll figure out a way." She is surprisingly chipper for someone that has just been told of her son's impending doom. Then again, her high spirits might be due to the three bottles of vodka stashed in her jewelry drawer.
The king, thankfully, does not share his wife's nonchalance. He buries his head in his hands and breathes out heavily, crown almost tipping off his head. (It is 3am, Yifan thinks. Why is father wearing his crown?) There are wrinkles etched in his forehead from years of balancing a country and his wife's crazy antics. Straightening up, the king looks his son in his eyes and says tiredly, "I knew this day would come. Son, it is time you consulted the Wizard.
The Wizard turns out to be... Well, a wizard. He is the only wizard in the country, and he lives a life of seclusion in the middle of the enchanted forest. "Find him, and you shall break the curse," booms the king.
Yifan is handed a map consisting of a few squiggles, random crosses, scribbled place names and an odd stick figure dancing across the page. ("That’s me!" says Jonghyun, the court advisor, and the artist of the map.)
Wufan looks at the map, and starts planning his funeral.
After half of a day of traveling on his trusty stallion named Yixing, and several wrong turns (it turns out that the dark splotch on the parchment that Yifan thought indicated a body of water, was simply an ink blot), Yifan arrives at the large X marking the Wizard's hiding spot.
Yifan furrows his brow at the small cottage that is almost swallowed by the forest around it. The stone walls are covered with ivy leaves, leaving only cracks of grey stone peeking through. The only indication that there is a building at all is a large silver of bright red wood with a golden knocker settled among the foliage.
As if sensing Yifan's presence, there is a loud creak, and the door swings open, setting loose a rainfall of leaves and dust. Taking in a deep breath (and regretting it immediately as the dust enters his nostrils) Wufan sends a backwards glance at Yixing and steps into the dark house.
Instead of a wizened old man, he finds a young boy of maybe 19 or 20 drowning in robes. Startled, the boy looks up from where he is knee deep in books. His Harry Potter glasses that were perched precariously on the bridge of his nose falls off and bounces soundlessly against the open pages.
"Oh, sorry," Yifan bows and says apologetically. "I think I have the wrong-"
"I’m the Wizard!" the boy hastily shouts and shoots right up. His credibility diminishes even more when he trips over his robes, landing face first on the floor.
"Are you absolutely sure."
"Kim Jongdae, 174th Wizard of the land at your service!" Jongdae is strangely excited at the prospect of a visitor and says his introduction so fast that the words blend into each other. At Yifan's skeptical look, Jongdae is quick with reassurances. "I took over the 173rd wizard a year ago! I am qualified!" He points at the certificate hanging on the wall behind him, framed in obnoxious gold.
Yifan's first instinct is to hightail out of the cottage but then Jongdae grins at him, all pleased and expectant, and Yifan finds himself settling down on the futon and spilling out the whole story to a sympathetic Jongdae. Jongdae makes appropriate murmurs of disbelief at all the right places and screws his face up comically when Yifan finishes with "... And now I am to die in two months unless I break the curse."
"I will help you!" Jongdae pumps a fist in determination, adorably earnest. He strides over to the overflowing bookshelves and pulls out a thick tome after a few seconds of contemplation. "There you go! The big book of spells! I'm a little rusty 'cause you're my first visitor in a year-"
"What?"
Jongdae ignores Yifan and chatters on animatedly. He lugs the heavy book over to his table with some difficulty and pulls out his wand. "I’ll just cast a finding spell and we'll have your curse broken in no time!"
Yifan nods and gives the young wizard a wide berth, partly because he respects Jongdae’s workspace, but also because he's frankly kind of afraid. It soon becomes apparent that despite the initial cheerfulness and confidence, Jongdae is having some problems. When another page explodes for the second time, Yifan pipes up out of concern, "Are you... Okay?"
"I don't know, man, I'm pretty new at this." Jongdae frowns and waves his wand again. Sparks fly out of the wand, but not the pretty ooo-look-sparklers kind. Rather, the sparks seem deadly, and prove to be dangerous when one spark singes a hole in Jongdae’s robes.
"Is that supposed to happen?" Yifan asks and Jongdae answers quickly, "Sure." His tone is anything but convincing, but for the sake of his sanity Yifan chooses to believe him. Still, Yifan can't help but think that it would be faster and perhaps safer to flip through the book manually to look for a way to break the curse, instead of using a locating spell.
After nearly setting himself on fire (Yifan manages to step on the tiny flame licking at the edge of Jongdae’s robes just in time) Jongdae finally yips happily, "A ha! How to break a marked demise curse!" The book shudders and shakes, and the pages flip in a flurry, finally settling on a yellowing page.
Jongdae’s sharp cheekbones push up as he smiles proudly, showing Yifan the tiny scrawled text. "It says here that you have to kiss a princess and the curse will be broken. But she has to be the love of your life!"
"Find the love of my life and I can live?" Yifan repeats as a confirmation. Oh. That seems easy enough. After all, he is Prince Yifan, man of everyone's dreams regardless of sexual preference. How hard can it be?
His quest for his princess begins the next day, without him even trying.
Yifan rubs his eyes sleepily as he walks down the stairs of the inn, heading for the dining room. The smell of breakfast perks him up, and he almost salivates at the thought of bacon, drizzled in maple syrup, with a side of ketchup doused eggs.
What he does not expect to see, is seven men of stunted growth, staring at him. Yifan has heard of dwarfs before, and he has always thought of them as short and stocky creatures, grumpy at nature for cursing them in the height department. He imagined ugly, thick-skinned creatures, with dirty beards and more body hair than a gorilla. Instead, he is pleasantly surprised to find seven clean-shaven, fresh faced pretty boys, all dressed like they just stepped out of some dandy summer fashion catalogue.
Yifan is particularly intrigued by the dwarf who literally stands out. Unlike his friends (Yifan assumes that they are acquaintances) who have small statures, his height is almost like a very tall 10 year old boy. He towers over the other dwarves by a whole head and from the way a tiny frown settles across his pink lips when he notices Yifan staring at him, he is none too pleased at being different.
"Are you a dwarf, too?" Yifan asks curiously, unable to help himself.
The dwarf in question pouts and the dwarf next to him, the one with the puffy cheeks and coke bottle glasses, speaks up for his companion. "This is Sungyeol. He's just... Special."
Beside them, another dwarf laughs so hard he topples off his chair, earning a kick in the side from Sungyeol.
"If we'll just ignore Dongwoo here," the dwarf who seems to be in charge, the shortest one of them all with tiny beady eyes, speaks up authoratively, "We hear that you're a prince and-"
"We’ve got a comatose princess and we need you to wake him up," cuts in the prettiest of all the dwarfs. This dwarf lets a smile light up his feminine features and sticks out a hand for Wufan to shake. "I'm Sungjong, and we have a situation."
"Let me get this straight," Yifan says slowly, as if repeating it at a more deliberate pace would make it less ridiculous. "So I just. Kiss her. This complete stranger. And it'll wake her up?"
"Her name is Lu Han," supplies the bright-eyed dwarf with the cheeks that he now knows as Woohyun.
Yifan shakes his head and flips his fringe back with a hand. "Knowing her name doesn't make it less wrong." He wants a princess, yes, but he doesn't want a sexual harassment case on his ass, because that would certainly complicate things. His mug shot would be very good looking though. The queen would probably frame it up and hang it in the grand hall.
All protests die in his throat when Yifan sees Lu Han.
If Yifan were to list down all attributes that he finds attractive in a girl, he would just be describing Lu Han. Skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony. Lu Han lies in a bed of red rose petals, a picture of youth and grace. The petals only seem to amplify her radiance, drawing attention to her smooth unblemished skin. Just looking at her, Yifan finds it all too easy to imagine her startling beauty drawing out the jealous claws of females, ultimately leading to her untimely demise. If Yifan’s handsome looks were carved by a curse, he holds no doubt that Lu Han, too, was cursed with beauty beyond belief.
The dwarfs titter in excitement as Yifan takes purposeful strides towards the sleeping princess. He closes the distance and gently cups Lu Han’s face with his right hand. For a moment he just stands there unmoving as he drinks in the princess' beautiful features.
So this is it. This is the girl that he would bring back to his kingdom, the girl who he would wed, and eventually have three children together with. And of course, this is the girl that will save his life. He’s quite pleased that his search is so efficient, turning up results before he has even officially begun. Yifan smiles to himself, basking in the life changing moment. Mother would like her.
One of the dwarfs let out a cough, and this draws Yifan’s attention back to the matter on hand. Gently, he wraps an arm around the sleeping princess and pulls her close. Just as softly, he brushes his lips across the princess, testing for a reaction. As soon as their lips touch, Lu Han stirs, just a twitch of the shoulders, and Yifan takes this as a positive cue to deepen the kiss.
With Lu Han now fully awake, she snakes her arms around his neck and their bodies are tugged closer. Her lips part in a sigh; of contentment, Yifan would like to think.
Suddenly, something hard presses into his thigh, and Yifan opens his eyes just a bit to peek down and- "Gah!" startled, Yifan pulls back and gasps out, "This isn't supposed to happen!"
Lu Han falls back onto the bed of roses and smiles lazily. "Mmm, someone higher born like me shouldn't be so proactive but hey, we have to work for what we want, right?"
"No, I meant that!" Yifan gestures wildly at the general direction of Lu Han’s crotch, where a rather impressive natural reaction is taking place.
Lu Han blinks innocently before realization dawns on his face. "Did the dwarves not tell you that I'm a dude?" He turns to glare at the seven intruders hiding behind the surrounding trees and spits out, "Again?"
"Princes are less willing to kiss another prince!" calls out Sungyeol before ducking back behind Sunggyu.
Yifan is too busy being mildly mortified to verbally confirm that fact.
"Any chance that you'll stay?" Lu Han asks, lower lip jutting out in a pout. He looks lovely settled among the red flower petals, and his expression is so angelic that Yifan just wants to stay with Lu Han forever. They could hold hands and frolic in the meadows while singing a merry song of love. But no, Yifan is a man on a mission.
He nods determinedly to himself, and misunderstanding him, Lu Han’s face brightens. "Wait, no-" Yifan quickly changes his nod to a shake of his head and holds out both palms in front of him. "I am afraid that i am a cursed man, and your lovely presence will not save me from my suffering."
Halfway through Yifan's dramatic ramblings, Lu Han rolls his eyes and settles back down on his bed of roses. He closes his eyes and clasps his hands in front of his chest, waiting for his next prince to arrive.
Yifan huffs because Lu Han sure dismissed him quickly. And to think they were just sharing a kiss mere minutes before. Yifan is the savior of Lu Han’s life! Talk about gratitude.
Oh well. Life moves on. He beckons for his horse, who has been hiding among the shadows. "Come Yixing, we must move forward!"
Yixing kicks up his front legs and neighs.
Yifan is knocking down his second coffee of the day in a quiet tavern (alcohol ages you, thank you very much) when there is a tap on his arm.
"I hear you're looking for a princess," the boy who tapped his arm whispers nervously. His eyes are wide and round, and they dart around uneasily, like the ticking pendulum of a grandfather clock. “I can bring you to Prince Jongin. He might know a princess or two."
Yifan sets down his coffee, licks the foam off his upper lip, and asks, "Can I trust you? You keep doing that with your eyes, and it's very shifty."
The boy immediately looks offended, eyebrows furrowing. Yifan thinks that this boy could use an appointment with his facialist. Those eyebrows are simply tragic. "No, this is just the way I look."
Because he has nothing to lose (Dying in two months here!) Yifan agrees to follow the boy who introduces himself as Kyungsoo, the royal servant to Prince Jongin.
Too young, the prince is, a boy of nary 18, but seduction pours from his every movement, every calculated smile, every heavy lidded gaze. Prince Jongin is sprawled against a large velvet couch, legs thrown open too wide for Yifan’s comfort.
Wufan swallows as he watches Jongin's mouth close around a grape, sucking it almost obscenely before taking it in whole with a pop.
Then the prince speaks, voice low and suggestive. "I'm Jongin. I'm hot, you're hot, let's fuck."
Wufan chokes on his saliva.
"But you're not a princess," Yifan points out, once he's stopped coughing.
"I could call you oppa if you want," Jongin offers and Yifan snorts. Jongin frowns. "So, no fucking?"
"No fucking," Yifan confirms. Prince Jongin's happiness index immediately drops proportionately to servant Kyungsoo's own happiness index. From the corner of Yifan's eyes, he can see a smile taking over Kyungsoo's face. Seems like when Kyungsoo pledged his life to serve the prince, he pledged a bit of his heart as well.
To his credit, Prince Jongin is incredibly courteous with the rejection, and takes it all in stride. He offers Yifan a room for as long as he wishes, and has Yixing placed in the care of the royal stables, where his mane is combed and braided with ribbons. Yixing tosses his mane with newly found confidence, making the female mares moony eyed.
In the long corridor stretching to Yifan's assigned room, Jongin's cousin, Minseok waits. He's heard from the chambermaids that Prince Yifan is looking for a princess, and while he lacks several lady bits and has a few... more... extra things, he's sure that these are all tiny, irrelevant matters. He caught a glimpse of Yifan when the traveling prince entered the palace grounds and was blown away with how much Yifan fit the image of the prince of his dreams- tall, regal and handsome, riding in upon a graceful beast of a horse.
Minseok is a resourceful dreamer, and is not above dressing up in a flowing baby blue dress and donning a brunette wig to hook Yifan.
And so when Yifan heads off to sleep, he's assaulted by a cloud of perfume, and then a blur of blue.
By this point in his travels, Wufan is no longer surprised by random people jumping out at him suddenly. He simply steadies his footing, crosses his arms, and glares straight at his assailant.
"I am Min," a high-pitched voice squeaks out.
Yifan increases the intensity of his stare and the smile in front of him falters. The boy in the wig droops his shoulders and admits, "...Seokkie."
"Prince Jongin's cousin, I’ve heard?" Yifan says, amused. "You’re not the first prince masquerading as a princess that I’ve encountered on my travels."
Minseok deflates at this piece of news, but quickly recovers. He decides to go ahead with his plan, determined to bag the prince of his dreams. "Do you like soccer?" Minseok leans forward until he is all but invading Yifan's personal space.
"Not particularly, no," Yifan says politely, chalking up the whole Imma-breathe-in-your-face situation as a culture thing.
Wrong answer. Minseok immediately withdraws, hissing like he's been stung. "I do not want to deal with haters like you. Leave!"
Yifan is all too happy to comply.
Jongin’s palace is warm and spacious, and it doesn’t take much for Yifan to accept Jongin’s offer for him to stay for a week. His search for a princess is taking longer than he expected, and Yixing is showing signs of wear. Yifan figures that a few days of rest in a lavish palace would do them both good. In the meantime, he wanders around the town, exploring the nooks and crannies of the winding streets and old buildings.
It is during one of his market place visits that he meets the travelling fortuneteller named Joonmyun.
He is drawn to the tent housing the fortuneteller by the large, gaudy sign hanging outside.
FORTUNE TELLING
CHEEP AND ACCURATE.
As someone who has been brought up to appreciate the beauty of grammar, Yifan can’t help but pop into the tent to inform the fortuneteller of the spelling mistake.
The fortuneteller, who later introduces himself as Joonmyun, lets his shoulders fall glumly. "Oh, so that's why I haven't had many customers!" He recovers quickly, and flashes Wufan a warm smile that takes over his face. “Would you like some tea?"
Yifan is strangely reminded of his grandfather back at home, so he can’t say no to the friendly fortuneteller. Besides, the cookies that were offered with the tea do look kind of tasty. No one says no to cookies.
Over tea, Yifan spills out his entire story, ending with Minseok's second surprise visit while Yifan is bathing, to which he confirmed that Wufan does not like soccer before scampering out of his room again. Jongin had to sit Minseok down after that and give him a mini lecture about personal space. ("Ambushing people while they are naked is not normal, Minseok." "But why?")
Joonmyun remains silent throughout Yifan’s tale, and as Wufan complains about the lack of women in the lands, Joonmyun places a hand on Yifan’s and interrupts, "Excuse me for the intrusion, but Prince Yifan, what country are we in?"
Yifan wrinkles in his brow in confusion. "Uh, Sowon?"
To his surprise, Joonmyun bursts out laughing, streams of hearty laughter rocking his small body. Yifan is mildly annoyed, until Joonmyun manages to gasp out, "So- Sowon? That's the next country, silly. We're EXO, the country of men."
"Country of men?" Of course! The crappy map that Jonghyun gave him ended up falling apart after three days and Yifan decided to trust his amazing direction sense, despite having no idea where Sowon is actually located. He should've just turned left instead of right at the damned fork road. It's just that the pink flowers in the left lane were turning him off, and what was with that ugly sign riddled with pink ribbons spelling out Sowon in the left lane- oh.
"We don't have princesses!" Joonmyun says brightly.
"I see none of you possess much language skills either," Yifan snipes, just because he's feeling particularly passive aggressive.
Joonmyun chooses to ignore Yifan's insult. Yifan suspects that this is how the fortuneteller deals with prickly matters. Just ignore everything icky and go full steam ahead! "Yes! We are famous for our abundance of good looking male royals," he chirps and explains further, "all the eligible females are snapped up as soon as they come of age so as time passes everyone just changes their preference a little. We’re a bit starved for love, you see."
Ah, that explains the princes throwing themselves at Yifan left and right.
No longer laughing, Joonmyun pats Yifan on the back sympathetically. Yifan is frozen in shock, teacup halfway to his lips. Joonmyun gently intercepts the cup and sets it down on the table. "I understand this is sudden news, but please, no harming the china."
Yifan clears his throat and asks slowly, "So what are the chances of me finding a princess?”
Joonmyun smiles at him. "Almost zero, i should think."
“Oh.” There is a pause. "Well, in all honesty I never fancied myself a princess."
Joonmyun nods solemnly. "I figured."
"You reckon a prince will break my curse?"
"Let me check. I have the book of spells memorized." Joonmyun closes his eyes and presses his left hand to his temple. He flicks the air with a finger, as if he flipping through the imaginary pages of his memory bank. "Yeap. As long as he or she is a royal."
"Well, that changes things." They sit in silence as they contemplate the changed situation. Joonmyun rubs his chin for good measure.
Then Joonmyun pipes up, "Do you want your fortune told?" Joonmyun looks up at him with hope shining in his eyes. He pats his crystal ball lovingly and rubs it a few times.
"Yeah.... I do!" Yifan says as he begins to slowly back away towards the flap of the tent. "Just after I uh, buy a donkey- Bye!" Yifan ducks out of the tent and runs for Yixing.
At the new revelation, Yifan actually feels relieved. Thinking about it, princesses are bratty and stuffy and he’s never quite felt comfortable around one. Girls are delicate and soft and squishy and Yifan feels like he'll break them with his immense strength. He needs someone more durable. Guys are durable. Yes. Mounting Yixing, he sets off with renewed spirits.
Off to find a prince!
It's been a long week. He's been trekking through the countryside for four days and he's barely seen any signs of life. Occasionally he passes by a town or two, but they don't even speak any of the three languages (and one dialect!) that Yifan knows, and he figures that a language barrier is as good as any reason to eliminate a possible match.
He's deciding between the grassy path at the fork road and the dirt path when someone pipes up behind him.
Yifan topples off Yixing and rights himself immediately, assuming a ninja pose with his arms prepared to strike. "I AM LEARNED IN FOUR TYPES OF MARTIAL ARTS."
"Hi, I'm Baekhyun!" The boy standing in front of him has a mess of floppy hair that almost covers his eyes, and he looks much too young to be wandering around alone.
Yifan slowly lowers his hands. He looks stupid trying to ninja chop the air and Prince Yifan is much too dignified to look stupid. Besides, it is probably not wise to attack commoners. "Hello," he says warily. Considering the people he's met in his travels so far, it is understandable to be hesitant.
Baekhyun presses himself against Yixing's side and practically breathes into his fur. "Nice horse! Are you on an adventure? Let me follow! I do love adventures. OOOOOOO."
Yifan gently wrangles Baekhyun away before he scares the stallion. "No, go away. I don't entertain brats."
Baekhyun smiles, and Yifan gets distracted by the sparkling pearly whites long enough for Baekhyun to hop onto Yixing. Yixing neighs in distress, but calms down when Baekhyun rummages in his pocket and pulls out a lint-covered sugar cube.
"Bribing my horse with your filthy candy," Yifan spits out, but makes no move to throw Baekhyun off the horse.
Baekhyun pets Yixing's mane and says, "Look, I know a prince around here. If you let me follow you, I’ll direct you to the tower."
Yifan quirks an eyebrow. Oh? Well then, he just gained himself a passenger.
The tower is a 45 minutes ride, which is 15 minutes away from the end of Yifan's patience. Baekhyun is a friendly boy, a little too friendly, as apparent from the way he never stops talking. Yifan is in the middle of conveying silent instructions to Yixing to kick Baekhyun off him when Baekhyun shrieks happily and points at the tower looming in the distance.
As with all fairy tales, a challenge lies ahead for the prince that is willing to brave the elements to find his princess. Thick thorny bushes wrap themselves around the sides of the tower and roses the size of Yifan's fist blooms bright and beautiful. It is a magnificent, but daunting sight.
"Let me through, young lad!" Yifan declares dramatically to Baekhyun, unsheathing his sword and brandishing it in front of him. "This is a job for a real man!"
"Um, princey," Baekhyun interrupts. "This is all very manly and cool of you, but there's a backdoor."
Yifan lets his arms, which are raised above his head, fall to his side and he snaps, irritated. "Well, why didn't you say so?"
Baekhyun leads Yifan around the tower to a small wooden door, barely tall enough to fit Baekhyun, much less Yifan.
"This place gives me the creeps." Baekhyun shudders and yelps once when his arm brushes against a protruding branch. "I’ll just leave you to it, princey." With that, he scampers off, disappearing into the undergrowth.
Yixing whines once, loud and demanding, stomping his foot to get Yifan's attention.
"What did you say, Yixing?" Yifan leans forward to press his nose into the space between Yixing's eyes, nuzzling the rough hair lining the stallion's head.
Yixing shakes his head in annoyance and lets out a snort.
Yifan chuckles and smoothes down Yixing's ears. "You saw a ninja? Seriously, Yixing, you have such an active imagination."
Yixing swishes his tail up to whack Yifan on the chest.
On the way to the tower, Baekhyun has briefed Yifan about the curious incident of Sleeping Beauty. A young prince drew so much jealousy with his good looks that a witch put a curse on him damning him to eternal sleep, unless awoken by the kiss of his One True Love.
"Witches are romantics," Yifan observes.
Yifan sympathizes with Prince Sehun's situation because all that cursed business? Yifan knows firsthand how much it sucks. Maybe their hearts would be bounded just like they are both bounded by a curse. Breaking curses together, that's a very romantic thing to do, something to tell their grandchildren about. It would make a great love story, because who needs Romeo and Juliet when you have marked demises and eternal sleep?
Yifan bursts into the room hidden in the top of the tower and gasps. If he thought Luhan was beautiful, Sehun is all that and more. An oval face with a sharp chin, a long nose and pink lips, the palest skin Yifan has ever seen, paired with a lean body that does not possess a hint of the litheness that Luhan has.
Thankfully, Yifan has this whole kissing random comatose strangers thing down pat, and barely hesitates in leaning across the beautiful boy sleeping peacefully in soon-to-be broken eternal slumber.
Odd, Sehun's lips are cold and hard, almost like he's kissing a stick. Then again, all that lying down for centuries must have cut off blood circulation somehow. Then the pressure against his lips increases, until his lips are forced apart and something very solid collides against his teeth. Something that is definitely not fleshy lips.
Yifan's eyes fly open in shock. At the sight in front of him, he can only gasp out (shriek?), "NINJA."
There is a boy standing in front of him, fully clad in black. Only his eyes are visible, dark and piercing. "My name is Zitao, and I have dedicated my life to finding and protecting Prince Sehun." His voice is calm and low, which adds to his intimidating presence.
"You aren't doing a very good job," Wufan points out. "Especially since you found him at the same time I did."
He clamps his mouth shut when Zitao's glare only intensifies. They both stare at each other in uncomfortable silence for several beats.
Then Wufan gets impatient and gestures at Prince Sehun. "Well, what are you waiting for? Kiss him!"
Zitao's entire body jerks, so horrified at the thought he is. "And sully the prince?"
"Again, failing at this saving business." Rolling his eyes, Yifan sticks his hand out and shoves Zitao. Zitao's mouth drops open and his arms swing around wildly as he falls ungracefully. Yifan watches with a satisfied smirk as Zitao's face crashes right into Sehun's, smashing their lips and noses together.
There is a moment of silence, as Zitao recoils in horror. He is short of frantic as he hurries away from the now awakening prince, trying to quell his bubbling hysteria. Immediately he drops onto his knees and bows down until his forehead is touching the ground. "I am sorry, your majesty!" Yifan thinks that Zitao would probably have slit his throat on the spot, if a sword were available. I have attempted the absolute sin and what not. Them ninjas always were dramatic.
Sehun's eyes peek open and he shifts his head to peer at the boy on the ground. "Are you my savior? Rise, my hero."
After a brief moment of hesitation, Zitao gets on his feet. He smiles proudly and executes a perfect 90 degrees bow. "That I am. Huang Zitao, at your service."
Sehun blinks at the other boy for a few seconds, fingers resting lightly on his lips. Then, with the most bratty shriek possible, "Oh my god you took my first kiss. I do hope you'll take responsibility." Sehun huffs and folds his arms across his chest. There is a flurry of expressions flitting across Zitao's face, like he's torn between feeling love struck or annoyed.
Yifan quietly slips out of the room, glad that he dodged that bullet.
"We are going to die, Yixing," Yifan says mournfully to his horse. Yixing snorts, and Yifan corrects himself, "I am going to die."
"I do hope not!" comes a concerned voice behind them.
Yifan has developed immunity against sudden voices and manages not to start this time. He turns around slowly, keeping a bored expression on his face. However, his feigned disinterest only lasts for all of two seconds.
Standing in front of him is what must be the most beautiful creation God has ever given to earth. Surreal, is the first word that pops up in Yifan's mind because this tall and handsome stranger must be a figment of his imagination. Such perfection cannot possibly exist in real life.
"Wow, you're hot," Yifan says, seemingly having lost his brain-to-mouth filter somewhere along his third botched kiss with a princess-turned-prince.
The boy brings a hand up to his face in embarrassment, covering a toothy grin. Yifan finds his sticky out ears adorable. He finds the messy curls masquerading as hair adorable. He even finds the twitch in his left eye adorable. The crazed mad man look is really up Yifan's alley, he discovers.
"You're hot too," the boy replies shyly and wow that voice, so unbefitting the boyish face. Can he bottle that voice and sell it because imagine listening to that voice every day! Yifan is pretty sure that if he were a little less manly, he would've gone weak in the knees upon hearing that deep baritone, but Yifan is manly Wufan, so he maybe just squeals internally a little. Just a little.
"Tell me your name, boy," Yifan booms, unconsciously using his Royal tone.
"Chanyeol! My name is Chanyeol!" The boy introduces himself brightly, a quick nod of his head in place of a bow.
Yifan is thoroughly star struck, so entranced by this boy's entire being, which would make his next statement forgivable. "You a prince? Please tell me you are." Behind them, Yixing lets out a snort of amusement but Yifan is too far gone to even feel embarrassment.
Chanyeol oddly, takes it as a compliment, and his large ears tinge pink. "I wish I was, sir."
"Don't call me sir, call me Yifan," Yifan corrects softly, wanting to disarm all formalities between them. He wants to reach out for the boy and run his fingers through that intriguing hair. How does it curl that way? How does it curl that way and still make Chanyeol look so thoroughly fuckable?
"Yi-?" At the name Chanyeol's eyes widen in realization and he lets out a cry of alarm. He immediately falls to his knees, and presses his forehead to the sandy ground, voice increasing in volume and urgency. "I apologize, Prince Yifan. Forgive me for not recognizing you at first sight!"
"No!" Alarmed, Yifan pulls Chanyeol up and reaches down to dust the boy's knees. "Never bow down to me again. This is an order."
Chanyeol stares at Yifan, body frozen in fear. Yifan changes tactic and says softly, "Please, as a friend, I ask you."
Chanyeol visibly relaxes but his face is still hesitant and wary. He glances down at where Yifan has a loose grip on his shoulder and bites his lip.
Yifan feels strangely nervous around this boy, something he's never quite felt before. All his life, he's always been proud and confident. He's always known how to handle people, and knows just the right amount of attention to lavish on a partner. Chanyeol, though, has just been in his vicinity for five minutes and already Yifan feels like everything he has learned in his past is slipping away, irrelevant to the significance of the present. He imagines a future together, so real that he almost thinks he's living it and the desperation to convey this to Chanyeol so the other boy understands how he feels consumes him. He wants Chanyeol to say yes, needs Chanyeol to say yes.
In the stories, love always seemed so easy, so he hopes this would be the case this time. In approaching the subject, he decides to be frank, because honesty is sometimes the easiest way to another's heart. Looking right into Chanyeol's eyes, Yifan says with as much sincerity as he can possibly muster, "I am in search of a prince, and I want you to be him."
Chanyeol's arm flies out as he almost smacks Yifan in the face as he flails around in alarm. "Prince- I am no! What! Me? Yes! I mean, no!"
Faced with a panicking Chanyeol, Wufan does the only thing he knows how to do. He grabs Chanyeol's arm and pulls him into a tight embrace, holding him against his chest until the boy stops struggling. Only when Chanyeol stops hyperventilating does Yifan loosen his grip, allowing Chanyeol to take half a step back.
"You sure you're not a prince?" Yifan holds Chanyeol gingerly, searching his eyes. There's something in his tone that makes Chanyeol realize that Yifan is dead serious, and the flicker of uncertainty is back.
Chanyeol is attracted to him too, Yifan knows this. He can tell in the quickening of Chanyeol's heart when Yifan holds him, in the hitch of his breath when Yifan runs his hand down Chanyeol's arms, in the rays of desire surfacing from behind the clouds of apprehension. His suspicions are confirmed when Chanyeol finally offers, a hint of pride more than obvious in his voice, "Well, my dad is known as the King of Bagels."
"That makes you bagel royalty! It's perfect!" In his joy Yifan almost plants a kiss on Chanyeol's inviting lips, but he finally understands the difference between true love and mere interest. With Lu Han and Sehun, there is no hesitation in initiating the kiss, just a pure spark of physical desire. With Chanyeol, Yifan wants to take it slow, explore the other more and prove that what he feels is beyond physical attraction. He doesn't want to scare the boy away, but wants to mark him as his all the same. Yifan settles for an old fashioned kiss to the back of Chanyeol's hand, and the smile that lights up Chanyeol's face is more than what a kiss can ever ignite.
The long trip back to SM is sweet, with Yifan wrapping his arms around Chanyeol and sneaking so many kisses that Yixing almost throws them off his back.
At the inn in JYP nation where they crashed for the night, Chanyeol brings up the curse. “Isn’t the curse the reason why you begin this journey in the first place?” he asks as he runs a finger down Yifan’s arm playfully, making goosebumps break out across Yifan’s skin.
“Curse?” Yifan’s mind is groggy from sleep and the warmth of having Chanyeol wrapped in his arms, so it takes his mind more than a few seconds to shift through his words and process the information. “Oh, curse!”
He leaps up from the bed and fetches the hourglass pendant from where it is carefully tucked into his jacket’s pocket.
They watch the hourglass with bated breath.
One, two, three seconds and nothing happens. Yifan is about to sigh in relief when a single grain drops. The fall is silent but echoes in the lovebirds’ ears, rising above the din of the bar on the ground floor.
“Fuck,” Yifan says.
Undisguised hurt flashes across Chanyeol's eyes. "I'm not your one true love?"
“You are, you are!” Yifan reassures quickly. He shakes the hourglass a few times and frowns. “This must be broken!”
Chanyeol turns over until his back is facing Yifan and refuses to respond to the prince for the rest of the night, leaving Yifan staring at his hourglass in frustration.
Jongdae excitedly welcomes them into his home, tripping over a cauldron again in his haste to open the door wider. The smile on his mouth immediate drops when Yifan glumly informs him that the kiss of his One True Love has done nothing to break the curse.
“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!” Jongdae scrambles for the spell book and flips it open, quickly uttering a finding spell to locate the page.
Yifan and Chanyeol watch anxiously as Jongdae’s expression turns from anxiety to confusion to something that looks suspiciously like guilt. “Oh dear.”
The final “oh dear” from Jongdae has Yifan knitting his eyebrow together. That is not a good “oh dear”; that is a well-I-fucked-up-majorly “oh dear”. Yifan’s fingers twitch, pulling into a fist.
Jongdae pulls at his collar and flashes them all a nervous grin. "Did I say princess? I meant peony. To lift the curse crush five peonies and marinate some chicken in it. I totally said marinate didn't I? Heh. Funny thing these spells and crystal balls. Connection gets murky- Oof!"
Jongdae only narrowly escapes being pummeled to death by Yifan because Chanyeol is there to hold Yifan off.
The city is thrown into confusion when Prince Yifan returns, holding the hand of not the most beautiful lady across the land, but an awkward gangly boy with sticky out ears, a boy almost as tall as he.
The queen, especially, is thrown off by the sudden turn of events, but when Chanyeol smiles, she is dazzled and welcomes the boy through the gates.
"And now we celebrate!" She announces gaily, an elegant hand sweeping across the crowd gathered in the banquet hall awaiting Yifan’s return. The hall bursts into a roar of celebration, loud music punctuated with the sound of champagne bottles popping.
But what about the throne?
"Well," the king says, scratching the back of his right ear. "I suppose this is as good a time as any to reveal a life altering birth secret."
Yifan widens his eyes and presses a hand to his chest. "Am I adopted?"
"What, no! Do you remember Yunho?"
Everyone nods. It's hard to forget the handsome stable boy, built like a model, and with a lovely smile to match.
The king lifts his chin and adopts a suitably regal tone to make the announcement. Everyone holds their breath and leans in just a bit closer. "He’s your older brother. I have been training him in the ways of the throne since he was born. Technically he's the crown prince."
Suddenly the way Yunho constantly dotes on Yifan makes sense. He was the one who taught Yifan how to ride, and personally picked Yixing out for Yifan when Yifan was 10. Wufan has always just brushed off Yunho's attention for him as an unrequited crush and was too nice to refuse the older boy's adoration.
Yunho steps out from where he was hidden in the shadows. The smile on his face is tentative and shy, because it's the appropriate expression to make when you are suddenly revealed as a love child to the country. Yunho's eyes study Yifan, gauging his reaction quietly.
Yifan takes a step forward and Yunho visibly swallows, his face tensing up like he's half expecting Yifan to chop off his head.
"Hyung," Yifan says with warmth in his voice, and the relief on Yunho’s face is obvious, tension melting away immediately. Yifan grins and pulls Yunho into a tight hug. He’s always called Yunho that, but this time the term carries a whole new meaning. Everyone coos at the display of affection between the newly reunited brothers, and celebration resume into the night.
"You were robbed of your throne," Chanyeol says when they are in Yifan's room later that night. Chanyeol's eyes follow Yifan as he strips off, pure adoration in his eyes. He doesn't sound sorry, though. Hard to be sorry, when the circumstances allow you to have Yifan, in all his manga character glory.
Yifan's knees make the bed dip as he climbs next to Chanyeol to nuzzle him in the neck. "But now I can devote my life to loving you."
Sexy times are put off for the ten minutes that it takes Chanyeol to keep his hysterical laughter under check.
And they lived happily ever after.
end.
\o/ i wrote krisyeol, y'all. i am so so so busy lately i am suffocating and this was a short escape for me. back to work ;A;