(no subject)
i'm trying to quit smoking pot and so far i have gone to successful days and then today i smoked and i'm pissed at myself for it. its so ridiculous. i feel like a braindead blob of reactions. i cant even hardly have a conversation with someone without trailing off. ugh. i don't understand why i just can't make myself stop. its really frustrating. anyways, i'm not moving to canada with my mom. i'm pretty sure. i go back and forth but as it stands now i'm not gonna go. a part of me feels like i should, so that i can get my life together...go to school maybe. i feel like have so many distractions. theres so many people in my life. good people. and i love everyone so fuckin much it really overwhelms me. and can't even act like theres one second i don't have the best time of my life with these people. ugh. i dunno..i but i feel like i need to do something. i'm living like a 16 year old again and i'm not 16 anymore. i'm 20 years old. i need to fucking do something. i need a real job. or something that doesn't deal with food and pays more than 6.50 and hour. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....i hate growing up.
"..cause nothing is as it apears in the fun house mirrors of your fears, on the roller coaster of all these years, with your hands above your head..."
"..cause nothing is as it apears in the fun house mirrors of your fears, on the roller coaster of all these years, with your hands above your head..."