(no subject)
My friend Jordan is here from West Virginia, asleep in my bed so I can wear myself out and wonder the rest of the apartment until it is unbearable for me to be awake any longer.
I walked hills all day. It was a really full day, and I am exhausted but still not any closer to sleeping. I haven't really slept since the first week of August, when our bosses took us to the mountains for vacation. Mostly because of nightmares, but also because I can't shut my brain off and I just worry worry worry. I've never been an anxious person, but the last year has somehow switched on that part of my brain. I've never slept well, but it's starting to get ridiculous. Today, I offered my mom some herbal solutions to her sleeping problems and she laughed at me, told me that she would if I would. I've had a glass of wine, and a long hot shower and I'm hoping it calms the wrinkles in my brain.
--
Today, I watched Jordan's face while he looked at the bay, seeing a part of the ocean for the first time in years. When I saw him a month ago in West Virginia, he was a giant ball of worry and hackles and hurt. Today, he laughed and smiled all day. jumpin_g made us lunch at the Mt.Bakery, we walked to the water, ran some errands, he met some of the people I know, and we got leads on a place for him to live. He's one of my dearest friends and I just want him to be well.
I welcome the distraction right now.
I walked hills all day. It was a really full day, and I am exhausted but still not any closer to sleeping. I haven't really slept since the first week of August, when our bosses took us to the mountains for vacation. Mostly because of nightmares, but also because I can't shut my brain off and I just worry worry worry. I've never been an anxious person, but the last year has somehow switched on that part of my brain. I've never slept well, but it's starting to get ridiculous. Today, I offered my mom some herbal solutions to her sleeping problems and she laughed at me, told me that she would if I would. I've had a glass of wine, and a long hot shower and I'm hoping it calms the wrinkles in my brain.
--
Today, I watched Jordan's face while he looked at the bay, seeing a part of the ocean for the first time in years. When I saw him a month ago in West Virginia, he was a giant ball of worry and hackles and hurt. Today, he laughed and smiled all day. jumpin_g made us lunch at the Mt.Bakery, we walked to the water, ran some errands, he met some of the people I know, and we got leads on a place for him to live. He's one of my dearest friends and I just want him to be well.
I welcome the distraction right now.