(no subject)
good day today. woke up early after noon. tried to organize my life a little, though i don't think it worked. still, it was great to spend a day laughing with nik and driving all around listening to good songs and telling secrets and talking about memories and sex and funny stories.
that happened to me once when i blewdry my hair.
ha. such a god damn big heart. and it was so good to lay out all my fears for someone else to see and to know that they understand.
and to promise to take turns fixing each other and falling apart respectively.
i need to write songs. i'm procrastinating because i'm scared and sometimes i listen to songs that are so good and then i get scared that i could never ever compare.
i feel so small sometimes.
and sometimes i drink way too much coffee till it makes my stomach hurt and so then my only choice is to play guitar because sleeping just ain't happening and that's the only thing that feels right.
i want to see laura sometime very soon and catch up.
i don't ever want to have a job again in my life.
i really want school to start, surprisingly.
i love my friends to death because they help me catch my breath.
there's a really funny looking guy on the hot water heater in the utility room where this computer is in my apartment.
i love the way the words 'my apartment' look and sound and feel coming out of my mouth.
it makes me feel like an eight year old wearing his dad's suit while he's away at work.
i don't like feeling like a liar. or the way the words 'so...are you mad at me?' feel coming out of my throat.
never again. and never again. (they gave us two shots to the back of the head. we're all dead. now.)
yeah, i really like my chemical romance a lot.
i guess i'm rambling. or maybe more just pausing after each line or two, letting my mind wander and then typing whatever comes up.
i like it when she wears my clothes.
i think maybe because it's like she's invading my life. i like that notion.
like a military campaign.
leave nothing standing. everything goes.
in that regard, nothing is sacred.
what is 'sacred' really? just something you are afraid of? something that you place too much faith in?
holiness?
i really really really really really really really really want to steal that statue of mary from outside the catholic church and put it in my room.
i'm pretty sure it's a terrible idea though. pretty damn sure of it.
(but if anyway is interested in lending a hand...)
oh my god nyc is in days.
i wish that i was good at everything.
or just really good at something.
maybe tomorrow (which is really today).
brandon.
that happened to me once when i blewdry my hair.
ha. such a god damn big heart. and it was so good to lay out all my fears for someone else to see and to know that they understand.
and to promise to take turns fixing each other and falling apart respectively.
i need to write songs. i'm procrastinating because i'm scared and sometimes i listen to songs that are so good and then i get scared that i could never ever compare.
i feel so small sometimes.
and sometimes i drink way too much coffee till it makes my stomach hurt and so then my only choice is to play guitar because sleeping just ain't happening and that's the only thing that feels right.
i want to see laura sometime very soon and catch up.
i don't ever want to have a job again in my life.
i really want school to start, surprisingly.
i love my friends to death because they help me catch my breath.
there's a really funny looking guy on the hot water heater in the utility room where this computer is in my apartment.
i love the way the words 'my apartment' look and sound and feel coming out of my mouth.
it makes me feel like an eight year old wearing his dad's suit while he's away at work.
i don't like feeling like a liar. or the way the words 'so...are you mad at me?' feel coming out of my throat.
never again. and never again. (they gave us two shots to the back of the head. we're all dead. now.)
yeah, i really like my chemical romance a lot.
i guess i'm rambling. or maybe more just pausing after each line or two, letting my mind wander and then typing whatever comes up.
i like it when she wears my clothes.
i think maybe because it's like she's invading my life. i like that notion.
like a military campaign.
leave nothing standing. everything goes.
in that regard, nothing is sacred.
what is 'sacred' really? just something you are afraid of? something that you place too much faith in?
holiness?
i really really really really really really really really want to steal that statue of mary from outside the catholic church and put it in my room.
i'm pretty sure it's a terrible idea though. pretty damn sure of it.
(but if anyway is interested in lending a hand...)
oh my god nyc is in days.
i wish that i was good at everything.
or just really good at something.
maybe tomorrow (which is really today).
brandon.