Things.... Random... Things....
That's all it feels like... everything seems so random. I feel like there should be more, and there's just... not... I don't know... I can't really explain it....
You know what's funny? Today is my birthday, I it doesn't even feel like it. Like, I am completely aware of the fact that I turned 19 today.. actually in like 2 hours, but same damn thing, but it doesn't feel like my birthday. Shit, I couldn't tell you the last time I actually got something for my birthday, not that I'm into material possesions, but still, every now and again its nice to know that people remember things, even if it is just some silly birthday. I dunno, I just feel kinda crappy, a little down, and a lot like just keeping myself locked up in a dark hole, preferably called my closet.
On a better note, Nick's not mad at me. Yay! He finally got two of my letters, thank God, because he was really starting to frighten me with this whole not believing that I cared thing.
Another bad note, my brother still wont talk to me. I don't really want to get into why, but I'm beginning to feel like he hates me, which may or may not be true. I'm not sure, but inside it's really taking a toll on me, I tend to be quite emotional and cry a lot. Kinda a crappy situation, huh?
Other than that, I don't know, I really want to vent, but it's kind of like I don't remember how. I'm going through another of my phases where I'm starting to keep everything inside again. Not very much fun, but I guess I'm getting used to it.
The only thing that's really making me happy right now, which makes me sound like a depressed alcoholic (even though I'm not, I swear!), is that I'm going to Canada later tonight, and I'm going to get trashed, and I'm not going to give a rat's ass, because I'm going to be with the girls, and at this point, I feel like saying screw the world. So yeah... I don't know... I'm out though... I've had enough of this venting thing, because I'm not really venting, I'm just causing myself to get emotional once again.. I think I'm due for another good cry sometime soon...
You know what's funny? Today is my birthday, I it doesn't even feel like it. Like, I am completely aware of the fact that I turned 19 today.. actually in like 2 hours, but same damn thing, but it doesn't feel like my birthday. Shit, I couldn't tell you the last time I actually got something for my birthday, not that I'm into material possesions, but still, every now and again its nice to know that people remember things, even if it is just some silly birthday. I dunno, I just feel kinda crappy, a little down, and a lot like just keeping myself locked up in a dark hole, preferably called my closet.
On a better note, Nick's not mad at me. Yay! He finally got two of my letters, thank God, because he was really starting to frighten me with this whole not believing that I cared thing.
Another bad note, my brother still wont talk to me. I don't really want to get into why, but I'm beginning to feel like he hates me, which may or may not be true. I'm not sure, but inside it's really taking a toll on me, I tend to be quite emotional and cry a lot. Kinda a crappy situation, huh?
Other than that, I don't know, I really want to vent, but it's kind of like I don't remember how. I'm going through another of my phases where I'm starting to keep everything inside again. Not very much fun, but I guess I'm getting used to it.
The only thing that's really making me happy right now, which makes me sound like a depressed alcoholic (even though I'm not, I swear!), is that I'm going to Canada later tonight, and I'm going to get trashed, and I'm not going to give a rat's ass, because I'm going to be with the girls, and at this point, I feel like saying screw the world. So yeah... I don't know... I'm out though... I've had enough of this venting thing, because I'm not really venting, I'm just causing myself to get emotional once again.. I think I'm due for another good cry sometime soon...