And what are we dying from this week, Mr. Touchette?
Recently, one of my friends commented, in a very matter-of-fact fashion, that I am a hypochondriac. I had extremely little room to be offended, because on the whole, it's true. I am a hypochondriac of the worst sort. I have had 3 major "Scares" recently.
SCARE #1: Heart Attack?
A few years ago, I lived in day-to-day fear that because of my size and family's genetic predisposition for heart disease (dad's side mostly), I also had developed heart disease and thought I was going to die of a heart attack when I felt the slightest chest discomfort.
This all came to a head during my first year of grad school. I woke up one night...my heart racing, sharp shooting pains all over my chest & shoulders. Heart attack, surely? Well, after my ER visit and subsequent doctor visit, I was diagnosed with panic disorder.
Diagnosis: Panic Disorder brought on by stress (which, has some shared symptoms with heart attack...lovely.) Solution: ZOLOFT (which...uh...yeah....)
SCARE #2: The other curse of the (Scotch-)Irish.
With my bonny fair skin and ruddy (well, not so ruddy anymore) red hair comes the heightened risk of melanoma and other kinds of nasty, deadly skin cancers. Around Christmas, I noticed some new moles on my skin. While they were not very huge or blackened, they gave me enough pause to revisit my Dermatologist for the first time in about a decade. I was an emotional WRECK. Melanoma nearly killed my Grandma two years before her eventual passing. My mom also battled (and won against) skin cancer back in the early 90s. Thus, I thought I was "next."
Diagnosis: Moles not big enough to cause concern. Solution: Watch them for growth.
SCARE #3: Heart Attack Part Deux?
Within the past few days, I have felt a weird feeling of fullness on both sides of my jaw which ranges from dull sensations to squeezing pain. I'd read enough online medical websites to know that jaw discomfort of that type can point to a heart attack. "Fuck! Here we go again!" I thought.
I visited the doctor, and his diagnosis is that the jaw discomfort isn't heart-related, especially for my age. (Somehow, I just cannot get it through my thick skull that 25-year-olds on the whole do not suffer the effects of heart disease.) Rather, my jaw discomfort is a result of swollen salivary glands. According to him, the swelling could mean a.) onset of an illness or b.) something possbily more serious. The doctor instructed me to see how I feel in two weeks, and if the situation doesn't improve, I should come back.
After leaving the doctor's office, I felt better, as I usually do when the doctor assures me that I'm not dying or anything. However, there's always some persistent, nagging voice inside of me that tries to convince me otherwise.
Case in point: Friday night, I did some amateur online investigation at WebMD.com and WrongDiagnosis.com to see what sort of conditions/diseases swollen salivary glands can point to. After a look at a list...I started to wonder if I had-- and I'm going to sound like a total neurotic fuckwhit-- Lymphoma. Yes, I thought for a while that I might have the beginnings of Lymphoma.
^^^^^
The above paragraph is proof that I should not be allowed to visit ANY medical websites. My ISP ought to block them from my account.
My hypochondria has reached a new low...or has it really? I guess all I can do in the meantime is pop a few Tylenol to see if that eases the swelling.
SCARE #1: Heart Attack?
A few years ago, I lived in day-to-day fear that because of my size and family's genetic predisposition for heart disease (dad's side mostly), I also had developed heart disease and thought I was going to die of a heart attack when I felt the slightest chest discomfort.
This all came to a head during my first year of grad school. I woke up one night...my heart racing, sharp shooting pains all over my chest & shoulders. Heart attack, surely? Well, after my ER visit and subsequent doctor visit, I was diagnosed with panic disorder.
SCARE #2: The other curse of the (Scotch-)Irish.
With my bonny fair skin and ruddy (well, not so ruddy anymore) red hair comes the heightened risk of melanoma and other kinds of nasty, deadly skin cancers. Around Christmas, I noticed some new moles on my skin. While they were not very huge or blackened, they gave me enough pause to revisit my Dermatologist for the first time in about a decade. I was an emotional WRECK. Melanoma nearly killed my Grandma two years before her eventual passing. My mom also battled (and won against) skin cancer back in the early 90s. Thus, I thought I was "next."
SCARE #3: Heart Attack Part Deux?
Within the past few days, I have felt a weird feeling of fullness on both sides of my jaw which ranges from dull sensations to squeezing pain. I'd read enough online medical websites to know that jaw discomfort of that type can point to a heart attack. "Fuck! Here we go again!" I thought.
I visited the doctor, and his diagnosis is that the jaw discomfort isn't heart-related, especially for my age. (Somehow, I just cannot get it through my thick skull that 25-year-olds on the whole do not suffer the effects of heart disease.) Rather, my jaw discomfort is a result of swollen salivary glands. According to him, the swelling could mean a.) onset of an illness or b.) something possbily more serious. The doctor instructed me to see how I feel in two weeks, and if the situation doesn't improve, I should come back.
After leaving the doctor's office, I felt better, as I usually do when the doctor assures me that I'm not dying or anything. However, there's always some persistent, nagging voice inside of me that tries to convince me otherwise.
Case in point: Friday night, I did some amateur online investigation at WebMD.com and WrongDiagnosis.com to see what sort of conditions/diseases swollen salivary glands can point to. After a look at a list...I started to wonder if I had-- and I'm going to sound like a total neurotic fuckwhit-- Lymphoma. Yes, I thought for a while that I might have the beginnings of Lymphoma.
^^^^^
The above paragraph is proof that I should not be allowed to visit ANY medical websites. My ISP ought to block them from my account.
My hypochondria has reached a new low...or has it really? I guess all I can do in the meantime is pop a few Tylenol to see if that eases the swelling.