The Future of Fashion (it's actually not me)
Ladies, here's your Fall Fashion Update, according to the E-town Journal "Look" section:
1. The Legging
2. The Mini Dress
3. The Couture Coat
4. The Skinny Pant
5. The Couture Jacket (not to be confused with Couture Coat)
6. The Modern Cocktail Dress
7. The Slouch Pant
8. The Full Sleeve Blouse
9. The Corset/Vest
10. The Chunky Knit Cardigan
11. The Extra-fine Turtleneck
12. The Jumper Dress
Okay, to be completely honest, there are a couple of things I can get behind: The Modern Cocktail Dress (although no firm commitments until I see what they mean by 'modern'); I used to rock tweed vests a lot and if left unsupervised could theoretically explore that again; and I can always get behind knit cardigans and turtlenecks. So scratch 6, (9), 10 and 11.
But leggings, people? Tights cut off at the ankle? Mini dresses - oh god, jumper dresses??? What, now we are all Kindergarten teachers from 1989?? Slouch pants. Slouch pants. And skinny pants generally only suit the heroin addict (although I've seen lameape rock a pair or two, but that's different). And the full sleeve blouse typically only works on pirates and/or 19th century heroes ...only Colin Firth should really be trying to pull off tight pants, full blouses and vests at the same time.
To make matters even more ridonkulous, the silhouette for fall 2006 is, in fact, egg-shaped. I tell you no lies. So your Couture Coat, for example, will be egg-shaped around the bottom, because lord knows most girls need width and roundness added to their hips.
Now let's talk about how the last time these great ideas hit the stores I was a chubby 13 year old kid (with requisite tall bangs) - pretty much at at the peak of coolness. This stuff was quite traumatising the first time around for me. I'm am standing firm on my "no" here.
I'm sorry to all of you who truly love high fashion, who are strongly in favour of leggings, or who simply must have larger tops and smaller bottoms. All the best to you. But we must stay strong here. Because just think of what the pictures will look like in 10 years if we follow the new rules of fashion.
You just know Au Coton is predicting their huge comeback.