You Can Wear Anything (As Long As It's Not Black)
Title: You Can Wear Anything (As Long As It's Not Black)
Fandom: Twilight.
Characters: Edward/Bella, Jacob/Bella.
Rating: PG-13.
Word Count: 2180.
Spoilers: None, really. It's pretty AU.
Summary: “I missed you, too,” she replies and she wonders if he can hear the lie in her words, if he can feel her wishing that Jacob was here instead.
Author's Note: Kind of a ficmix, but I didn't upload the songs. Let me know if you want them. This was supposed to be the following meme, but it didn't quite turn out correctly.
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn your music player on and turn it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble/ficlet related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterward!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.
001. Dido - "See The Sun"
She stands at the window, watching the night unfurl before her. The sun is setting slowly, lowering itself into the haze of the clouds and she sighs. Edward will be there soon, will be home soon. The electricity that settles into her bones, curls around her muscles and settles into her veins is scary.
She can still taste Jacob on her lips, warm and soothing like the sun, like the rays that no longer grace the sky. Everything’s dark, cold, and she closes her eyes. He’s there, behind her eyelids, his fingers curled around her waist and hers knotted in his hair.
A tap at her window causes her to jump and there Edward is, smiling in his crooked way. She opens the window and his scent hits her, erases the memory of Jacob for about two seconds.
“Edward,” she breathes and then he kisses her. Her knees go weak, a mix of him and the lingering taste of Jacob. She wonders if she brushed her teeth enough or if he can taste it, too.
“Bella, my love.” His thumbs run over her cheekbones as he smiles. “I missed you so much.”
She smiles, though it feels forced, and steps back to let him in. He steps gracefully inside and shuts the window, pulls her close to his chest. Bella shivers in his arms for a moment, glad that he can’t read her mind because the only thing that’s going through it is Jacob’s name.
“I missed you, too,” she replies and she wonders if he can hear the lie in her words, if he can feel her wishing that Jacob was here instead.
It makes her sick to her stomach, so she curls closer to Edward, buries her face in his stone-like chest. He seems to take it as a physical sign of how much she missed him and his arms curl a little tighter, though not nearly as strong as they could.
002. Kosheen - "Wish"
She’s teetering in heels that Alice had picked out and she wonders, briefly, what would happen if she were to trip and fall. She imagines the sound a snapping bone would make, how it would look to have her leg bending the wrong way. It makes her light headed and her mother catches her as her knees give out, hands at her elbows.
“Bella,” she laughs as she sits her daughter down, “are you really that nervous?”
Bella blinks and looks up at her mother’s face. She’s so proud; it’s obvious in every single line of her face. She forces a smile, though she wants to throw up.
“Of course,” she says. “I just want it to be over.”
Renee laughs again and shakes her head, her hand smoothing down Bella’s veil.
“You shouldn’t want that,” she smiles sadly, “not on your wedding day.”
Bella smiles, her hand moving up to rest on her mother’s. “It’s just nerves,” she says, unsure if she’s trying to convince herself or her mother. Or both. “I’ll be fine once I’m out there, I just can’t handle the waiting.”
As if she’d been eavesdropping, there’s a knock on the door. “Everything’s set!” Alice’s voice chimes through the wood.
Renee looks at Bella again, tears in her eyes now. She places a soft kiss on her daughter’s cheek and Bella can feel her hands shaking.
“You look beautiful,” she whispers before leaving.
Bella stands in front of the mirror and takes a breath, wondering if she really made the right choice. She half expects Jacob to come crashing through the door, but he doesn’t. It’s just her, in a ridiculously lavish white dress, waiting for her father to walk her down the aisle.
003. Muse - "Micro Cuts"
The lust for blood is intense. Bella can’t think, can’t hear, can’t see anything else. All that matters is blood; human, animal, anything that’s red and dark and warm.
She wonders if her aversion to it as a human made the lust for it that much worse.
She’s killed five people within three days, her hands always sticky and warm with blood now. It feels too hot, like boiling water against her stone flesh, and she longs for more.
It takes a week for Edward to find her, to bring her crashing to the ground. He’s screaming her name, trying to get her to focus on him, but the colour of her irises mimic the colour of the only thing she sees.
Somewhere, in the deep recesses of her brain, she hears Edward and she cares that he’s here. Even with his hands on her wrists (hard enough to snap bones, but not nearly hard enough to keep her still), a part of her wants to thank him for trying.
Instead, her eyes focus on his for a brief second and she grins evilly. He can see the red stain on her teeth, the way it paints her lips like lipstick.
“You made me this way,” she breathes, her words harsh and low. “You made me into a monster.”
She’s gone before he has time to respond, his fingers clutching dirt instead of flesh.
004. Snow Patrol - "Chocolate"
The house still has some of their possessions. She wonders, briefly, why no one had moved in after they left.
She also wonders why they would carelessly leave items behind.
Edward’s piano sits where it did the first time she came here. She walks over and runs her fingers over the keys, a break in the dust left behind by her fingertips. She closes her eyes and takes an unnecessary breath, just so she can taste the memories around her.
They said that human memories became fuzzy, even left you completely, once you were turned. Bella’s, however, clung to the corners of her mind like they couldn’t fathom ever leaving her. Even when she tries to push them away, they still linger, threatening to break her.
She can hear her lullaby in her mind; can see the way Edward’s fingers flew quickly over the piano keys. She wants to try to repeat the movements but even now, it’s too complicated for her. She frowns and opens her eyes and there’s Jasper, watching her silently.
“Why are you here?” he asks, eyes glancing towards her fingers as they hover over the piano.
She pulls her hand away quickly, notices the red rings in his eyes. She frowns at the idea of where it came from, her own reddened irises looking away.
“He’s not here,” Jasper says, eyes on Bella still. “He left after you nearly destroyed him.”
She catches the us that he mutters beneath his breath and wonders, briefly, if she caused him to feed on humans again. She doesn’t ask, instead turns around and walks out, muttering apologies that she knows he’ll hear but ignore.
It’s not enough; nothing will ever be enough.
005. Ingrid Michaelson - "Let Go"
“Bella?”
The voice causes her spine to stiffen. It’s familiar, though different than any voice she’s heard in the past ten years. She turns on her heel, the grass stirring around her leg.
She’d like to say he hadn’t changed a bit, but it would be a lie.
Jacob’s harder, now. She can see the definitions of his muscles, can see the way his eyes are watching her, but that’s not what sets her on edge. It’s the way he clenches his jaw, the way she can’t feel his warm, large heart anymore.
It’s like it froze sometime between then and now, like she broke him so completely that it just iced over. His heart’s still beating, though, unlike hers.
“Jake,” she says, tries to take a step forward. He matches it with a step backward.
“I never thought I’d see you again.”
She wants to see him smile, wants to know that it makes him happy. But his lips are curled downwards, like all the happiness in his life has spilled out of him and he can’t muster up the courage to try for more. It makes her frown as well.
She doesn’t stop him when he turns around and runs off. She does watch as he shifts into his wolf form, mid-air, and runs away from her.
The howl she hears reminds her of one she heard far too long ago and suddenly she’s running, too.
006. Evanescence - "Forgive Me"
She catches up to him a few states over. He’s panting, and she can smell the blood from his paws.
Unlike other vampires, the smell of the werewolf doesn’t disgust her. Or maybe it’s just the smell of Jacob, the one she remembers far too well from her human days. It’s stronger now and Bella pauses, closes her eyes and inhales deeply, greedily.
The smell is sweet, but she doesn’t feel any hunger in her throat. Instead, it builds in her chest and threatens to send her to her knees.
“Jake,” she says softly and his head turns.
She holds her hands up and steps forward, tries to show that she isn’t going to hurt him. He crouches down, like he’s ready to attack if need be, but he doesn’t move away.
“Please, just,” she pauses, emotion lodging in her throat. She takes a breath and closes her eyes again, forcing away invisible tears.
“Just what?”
His voice startles her and she snaps her eyes open. He’s naked in front of her, and she looks away. She would blush, if she could.
“Just hear me out,” she says after a moment.
“Why bother? All you want is forgiveness, for me to say that it’s perfectly fine that you ran off with that bloodsucker. Married him, changed into this… this disgusting marble beast. I can smell you, Bella,” he growls her name like a curse. “You don’t smell anything like you used to.”
She wants to rip his head off, to tear cuts into his flesh and make him bleed. A part of her, though microscopic compared to normal, wants to taste his blood on her tongue.
“Forget it,” she says instead and turns around, walks away before he can say anything else.
007. The Decemberists - "Isn't It a Lovely Night?
She’s in the meadow Edward took her to years ago, watching the stars twinkle in and out between the clouds. It’s silent there, aside from the scurrying of little mice, the sound of the traffic so far away. She can hear everything and nothing at the same time and she feels as though it might drive her insane.
Footsteps approach her and she focuses on the sound. They’re hesitant, but they don’t sound like someone trying to sneak up on her.
She stands up, ready to attack the intruder, when Jacob’s form steps out from the trees. As a human, she wouldn’t have been able to see him, but her eyes are incredibly sharp now, even in the darkness.
“What do you want?” she spits, still licking the wounds from their earlier fight.
He freezes, every muscle in his body tensing. The only ones she really notices, however, are the ones that tighten as his teeth clench together.
“To talk to you.” The words are forced between his teeth, like he’s afraid of opening his mouth too far. She scoffs.
“What do you want to say that you haven’t already? Are you here to tell me what a horrible mistake I made? To tell me that I should have chosen you, Jake, instead of Edward? That my life could be happy and meaningful, had I stayed with you?”
His eyes glance briefly towards her hands, tightened into fists at her sides. “Bella, I just wanted -“
“I should have chosen you, Jake. I know that I should have.”
He seems at a loss for words then and she looks away, arms wrapping around her body like the night air actually feels cold to her.
She longs for a heartbeat, for warmth to flow through her veins again, for a time machine so she could go back and change everything.
She’s so distracted that she doesn’t even hear him walking towards her until he’s right there, just a few inches in front of her.
His jaw muscles flex and relax as he clenches and unclenches his teeth. She wonders what he’s thinking, why he’s standing this close to her, why he hasn’t tried to hurt her. (She knows why he hasn’t done the last - he loves her, probably always will.)
“You can’t do this to me, Bella,” he says and she can nearly see tears in his eyes.
“You think it’s easy for me? I have to live forever with this mistake hanging over my head. I have to know, have to feel it in my bones, that I made the wrong choice.”
She looks away, wishing she could cry.
The heat of his hand startles her more than the fact that he’s touching her.
“I hate you. So much.” The words get trapped between their lips as he kisses her. It isn’t soft, or gentle; it’s rough and hungry and she nearly melts against him.
That night, the meadow becomes hers and Jacob’s in the same way that she becomes his and he becomes hers. Edward becomes just a memory, one that doesn’t hold so tightly to her skin anymore.
Fandom: Twilight.
Characters: Edward/Bella, Jacob/Bella.
Rating: PG-13.
Word Count: 2180.
Spoilers: None, really. It's pretty AU.
Summary: “I missed you, too,” she replies and she wonders if he can hear the lie in her words, if he can feel her wishing that Jacob was here instead.
Author's Note: Kind of a ficmix, but I didn't upload the songs. Let me know if you want them. This was supposed to be the following meme, but it didn't quite turn out correctly.
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn your music player on and turn it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble/ficlet related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterward!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.
001. Dido - "See The Sun"
She stands at the window, watching the night unfurl before her. The sun is setting slowly, lowering itself into the haze of the clouds and she sighs. Edward will be there soon, will be home soon. The electricity that settles into her bones, curls around her muscles and settles into her veins is scary.
She can still taste Jacob on her lips, warm and soothing like the sun, like the rays that no longer grace the sky. Everything’s dark, cold, and she closes her eyes. He’s there, behind her eyelids, his fingers curled around her waist and hers knotted in his hair.
A tap at her window causes her to jump and there Edward is, smiling in his crooked way. She opens the window and his scent hits her, erases the memory of Jacob for about two seconds.
“Edward,” she breathes and then he kisses her. Her knees go weak, a mix of him and the lingering taste of Jacob. She wonders if she brushed her teeth enough or if he can taste it, too.
“Bella, my love.” His thumbs run over her cheekbones as he smiles. “I missed you so much.”
She smiles, though it feels forced, and steps back to let him in. He steps gracefully inside and shuts the window, pulls her close to his chest. Bella shivers in his arms for a moment, glad that he can’t read her mind because the only thing that’s going through it is Jacob’s name.
“I missed you, too,” she replies and she wonders if he can hear the lie in her words, if he can feel her wishing that Jacob was here instead.
It makes her sick to her stomach, so she curls closer to Edward, buries her face in his stone-like chest. He seems to take it as a physical sign of how much she missed him and his arms curl a little tighter, though not nearly as strong as they could.
002. Kosheen - "Wish"
She’s teetering in heels that Alice had picked out and she wonders, briefly, what would happen if she were to trip and fall. She imagines the sound a snapping bone would make, how it would look to have her leg bending the wrong way. It makes her light headed and her mother catches her as her knees give out, hands at her elbows.
“Bella,” she laughs as she sits her daughter down, “are you really that nervous?”
Bella blinks and looks up at her mother’s face. She’s so proud; it’s obvious in every single line of her face. She forces a smile, though she wants to throw up.
“Of course,” she says. “I just want it to be over.”
Renee laughs again and shakes her head, her hand smoothing down Bella’s veil.
“You shouldn’t want that,” she smiles sadly, “not on your wedding day.”
Bella smiles, her hand moving up to rest on her mother’s. “It’s just nerves,” she says, unsure if she’s trying to convince herself or her mother. Or both. “I’ll be fine once I’m out there, I just can’t handle the waiting.”
As if she’d been eavesdropping, there’s a knock on the door. “Everything’s set!” Alice’s voice chimes through the wood.
Renee looks at Bella again, tears in her eyes now. She places a soft kiss on her daughter’s cheek and Bella can feel her hands shaking.
“You look beautiful,” she whispers before leaving.
Bella stands in front of the mirror and takes a breath, wondering if she really made the right choice. She half expects Jacob to come crashing through the door, but he doesn’t. It’s just her, in a ridiculously lavish white dress, waiting for her father to walk her down the aisle.
003. Muse - "Micro Cuts"
The lust for blood is intense. Bella can’t think, can’t hear, can’t see anything else. All that matters is blood; human, animal, anything that’s red and dark and warm.
She wonders if her aversion to it as a human made the lust for it that much worse.
She’s killed five people within three days, her hands always sticky and warm with blood now. It feels too hot, like boiling water against her stone flesh, and she longs for more.
It takes a week for Edward to find her, to bring her crashing to the ground. He’s screaming her name, trying to get her to focus on him, but the colour of her irises mimic the colour of the only thing she sees.
Somewhere, in the deep recesses of her brain, she hears Edward and she cares that he’s here. Even with his hands on her wrists (hard enough to snap bones, but not nearly hard enough to keep her still), a part of her wants to thank him for trying.
Instead, her eyes focus on his for a brief second and she grins evilly. He can see the red stain on her teeth, the way it paints her lips like lipstick.
“You made me this way,” she breathes, her words harsh and low. “You made me into a monster.”
She’s gone before he has time to respond, his fingers clutching dirt instead of flesh.
004. Snow Patrol - "Chocolate"
The house still has some of their possessions. She wonders, briefly, why no one had moved in after they left.
She also wonders why they would carelessly leave items behind.
Edward’s piano sits where it did the first time she came here. She walks over and runs her fingers over the keys, a break in the dust left behind by her fingertips. She closes her eyes and takes an unnecessary breath, just so she can taste the memories around her.
They said that human memories became fuzzy, even left you completely, once you were turned. Bella’s, however, clung to the corners of her mind like they couldn’t fathom ever leaving her. Even when she tries to push them away, they still linger, threatening to break her.
She can hear her lullaby in her mind; can see the way Edward’s fingers flew quickly over the piano keys. She wants to try to repeat the movements but even now, it’s too complicated for her. She frowns and opens her eyes and there’s Jasper, watching her silently.
“Why are you here?” he asks, eyes glancing towards her fingers as they hover over the piano.
She pulls her hand away quickly, notices the red rings in his eyes. She frowns at the idea of where it came from, her own reddened irises looking away.
“He’s not here,” Jasper says, eyes on Bella still. “He left after you nearly destroyed him.”
She catches the us that he mutters beneath his breath and wonders, briefly, if she caused him to feed on humans again. She doesn’t ask, instead turns around and walks out, muttering apologies that she knows he’ll hear but ignore.
It’s not enough; nothing will ever be enough.
005. Ingrid Michaelson - "Let Go"
“Bella?”
The voice causes her spine to stiffen. It’s familiar, though different than any voice she’s heard in the past ten years. She turns on her heel, the grass stirring around her leg.
She’d like to say he hadn’t changed a bit, but it would be a lie.
Jacob’s harder, now. She can see the definitions of his muscles, can see the way his eyes are watching her, but that’s not what sets her on edge. It’s the way he clenches his jaw, the way she can’t feel his warm, large heart anymore.
It’s like it froze sometime between then and now, like she broke him so completely that it just iced over. His heart’s still beating, though, unlike hers.
“Jake,” she says, tries to take a step forward. He matches it with a step backward.
“I never thought I’d see you again.”
She wants to see him smile, wants to know that it makes him happy. But his lips are curled downwards, like all the happiness in his life has spilled out of him and he can’t muster up the courage to try for more. It makes her frown as well.
She doesn’t stop him when he turns around and runs off. She does watch as he shifts into his wolf form, mid-air, and runs away from her.
The howl she hears reminds her of one she heard far too long ago and suddenly she’s running, too.
006. Evanescence - "Forgive Me"
She catches up to him a few states over. He’s panting, and she can smell the blood from his paws.
Unlike other vampires, the smell of the werewolf doesn’t disgust her. Or maybe it’s just the smell of Jacob, the one she remembers far too well from her human days. It’s stronger now and Bella pauses, closes her eyes and inhales deeply, greedily.
The smell is sweet, but she doesn’t feel any hunger in her throat. Instead, it builds in her chest and threatens to send her to her knees.
“Jake,” she says softly and his head turns.
She holds her hands up and steps forward, tries to show that she isn’t going to hurt him. He crouches down, like he’s ready to attack if need be, but he doesn’t move away.
“Please, just,” she pauses, emotion lodging in her throat. She takes a breath and closes her eyes again, forcing away invisible tears.
“Just what?”
His voice startles her and she snaps her eyes open. He’s naked in front of her, and she looks away. She would blush, if she could.
“Just hear me out,” she says after a moment.
“Why bother? All you want is forgiveness, for me to say that it’s perfectly fine that you ran off with that bloodsucker. Married him, changed into this… this disgusting marble beast. I can smell you, Bella,” he growls her name like a curse. “You don’t smell anything like you used to.”
She wants to rip his head off, to tear cuts into his flesh and make him bleed. A part of her, though microscopic compared to normal, wants to taste his blood on her tongue.
“Forget it,” she says instead and turns around, walks away before he can say anything else.
007. The Decemberists - "Isn't It a Lovely Night?
She’s in the meadow Edward took her to years ago, watching the stars twinkle in and out between the clouds. It’s silent there, aside from the scurrying of little mice, the sound of the traffic so far away. She can hear everything and nothing at the same time and she feels as though it might drive her insane.
Footsteps approach her and she focuses on the sound. They’re hesitant, but they don’t sound like someone trying to sneak up on her.
She stands up, ready to attack the intruder, when Jacob’s form steps out from the trees. As a human, she wouldn’t have been able to see him, but her eyes are incredibly sharp now, even in the darkness.
“What do you want?” she spits, still licking the wounds from their earlier fight.
He freezes, every muscle in his body tensing. The only ones she really notices, however, are the ones that tighten as his teeth clench together.
“To talk to you.” The words are forced between his teeth, like he’s afraid of opening his mouth too far. She scoffs.
“What do you want to say that you haven’t already? Are you here to tell me what a horrible mistake I made? To tell me that I should have chosen you, Jake, instead of Edward? That my life could be happy and meaningful, had I stayed with you?”
His eyes glance briefly towards her hands, tightened into fists at her sides. “Bella, I just wanted -“
“I should have chosen you, Jake. I know that I should have.”
He seems at a loss for words then and she looks away, arms wrapping around her body like the night air actually feels cold to her.
She longs for a heartbeat, for warmth to flow through her veins again, for a time machine so she could go back and change everything.
She’s so distracted that she doesn’t even hear him walking towards her until he’s right there, just a few inches in front of her.
His jaw muscles flex and relax as he clenches and unclenches his teeth. She wonders what he’s thinking, why he’s standing this close to her, why he hasn’t tried to hurt her. (She knows why he hasn’t done the last - he loves her, probably always will.)
“You can’t do this to me, Bella,” he says and she can nearly see tears in his eyes.
“You think it’s easy for me? I have to live forever with this mistake hanging over my head. I have to know, have to feel it in my bones, that I made the wrong choice.”
She looks away, wishing she could cry.
The heat of his hand startles her more than the fact that he’s touching her.
“I hate you. So much.” The words get trapped between their lips as he kisses her. It isn’t soft, or gentle; it’s rough and hungry and she nearly melts against him.
That night, the meadow becomes hers and Jacob’s in the same way that she becomes his and he becomes hers. Edward becomes just a memory, one that doesn’t hold so tightly to her skin anymore.