*twitch*
What I'm going to write now is very personal. It's also something I've dreaded to acknowledge for a long time. I've admitted to myself several times that it's the truth, but so far I've failed to actually do something about it. I wanted you to know that before I stop speaking in riddles :) So here goes.
I'm overweight. That's not really something new or shocking, but putting it out there is quite an undertaking. I've always been big and, like I said, I've know for a while that it might not be healthy. Ever since I can remember, I've been heavier than other people of my age and stature. Because of that, I've been bullied when I was younger and I have always been extremely insecure about my body. As soon as the subject of body weight or dieting (or even eating in general) comes up, I feel very uncomfortable. I hate scales. As soon as people ask me how much I weigh (which luckily doesn't happen too often), I lie. It's probably one of my biggest secrets and I've been running away from the truth for a long time.
Lately I've been getting more and more comfortable with myself. There are a lot of reasons for that, and I'm not going to name them all, but I want to mention that my school and that whole environment is a big part of my growing self confidence. I think it's a great thing that I can actually look in the mirror and not feel misshapen or ugly. But that doesn't mean that I'm healthy.
I like eating. I love it. I love food and I can never get enough of it. Having said that, I'd also like to point out that I love HEALTHY food. I scarcely eat junk food and I eat lots of vegetables and fruit. But that's the problem: I eat lots of. I eat healthy things, but I eat too much of them. I eat way more than I need, because I simply love to eat.
So here's the deal. I want to lose weight. It's in my Day Zero Project list (it says 'lose 10 kilos', although my BMI would only be healthy after I'd lose about 15 kilos though - it's a start) as well, so I'm really determined on actually doing it. But I can't do it on my own. I need people to support me and help me through it, and kick my ass when I fail to do so myself. I've tried to diet before and I managed to lose a few kilos, but I couldn't maintain the regime without support from people around me (again, this was because I didn't dare to tell anybody I was trying to lose weight). I'm asking you guys to help me. I really want to succeed this time. I've decided on following the Weight Watchers program (you know, the counting of points and stuff like that). I'll be writing down everything I eat and drink in a notebook, and I'll weigh myself once every week. My ultimate goal would be to lose between 15 and 20 kilos (that would put my BMI at around 23, which is perfectly heatlhy), but that's a long way to go. So my first goal is to lose the 10 on my Day Zero list.
Wow. I can't believe how nervous I am about putting this out there, but I NEED THIS. I know you guys will help me if I ask you to, because you're awesome. I'm going to use my LJ account to write about my progress. I'm going to be very honest about this - if I eat too much or my determinism collapses, I'm going to write it down and I'm going to need you to tell me why I was doing this again. Don't be afraid to kick my ass, like I said, because I'm going to need it. Be hard on me (but not too hard, haha), so I won't give up :)
The official start of my diet will be Monday, the 1st of March. This week is for mental preperation and last minute sins, and after that, I'M GONNA DO THIS! Yeah!
I'm overweight. That's not really something new or shocking, but putting it out there is quite an undertaking. I've always been big and, like I said, I've know for a while that it might not be healthy. Ever since I can remember, I've been heavier than other people of my age and stature. Because of that, I've been bullied when I was younger and I have always been extremely insecure about my body. As soon as the subject of body weight or dieting (or even eating in general) comes up, I feel very uncomfortable. I hate scales. As soon as people ask me how much I weigh (which luckily doesn't happen too often), I lie. It's probably one of my biggest secrets and I've been running away from the truth for a long time.
Lately I've been getting more and more comfortable with myself. There are a lot of reasons for that, and I'm not going to name them all, but I want to mention that my school and that whole environment is a big part of my growing self confidence. I think it's a great thing that I can actually look in the mirror and not feel misshapen or ugly. But that doesn't mean that I'm healthy.
I like eating. I love it. I love food and I can never get enough of it. Having said that, I'd also like to point out that I love HEALTHY food. I scarcely eat junk food and I eat lots of vegetables and fruit. But that's the problem: I eat lots of. I eat healthy things, but I eat too much of them. I eat way more than I need, because I simply love to eat.
So here's the deal. I want to lose weight. It's in my Day Zero Project list (it says 'lose 10 kilos', although my BMI would only be healthy after I'd lose about 15 kilos though - it's a start) as well, so I'm really determined on actually doing it. But I can't do it on my own. I need people to support me and help me through it, and kick my ass when I fail to do so myself. I've tried to diet before and I managed to lose a few kilos, but I couldn't maintain the regime without support from people around me (again, this was because I didn't dare to tell anybody I was trying to lose weight). I'm asking you guys to help me. I really want to succeed this time. I've decided on following the Weight Watchers program (you know, the counting of points and stuff like that). I'll be writing down everything I eat and drink in a notebook, and I'll weigh myself once every week. My ultimate goal would be to lose between 15 and 20 kilos (that would put my BMI at around 23, which is perfectly heatlhy), but that's a long way to go. So my first goal is to lose the 10 on my Day Zero list.
Wow. I can't believe how nervous I am about putting this out there, but I NEED THIS. I know you guys will help me if I ask you to, because you're awesome. I'm going to use my LJ account to write about my progress. I'm going to be very honest about this - if I eat too much or my determinism collapses, I'm going to write it down and I'm going to need you to tell me why I was doing this again. Don't be afraid to kick my ass, like I said, because I'm going to need it. Be hard on me (but not too hard, haha), so I won't give up :)
The official start of my diet will be Monday, the 1st of March. This week is for mental preperation and last minute sins, and after that, I'M GONNA DO THIS! Yeah!