Language
Hubby hasn't figured out the importance of words. He says what he is thinking, point blank and regardless of how it sounds. It's like he doesn't have a censoring process where he can step back and think about what he says.
I was frustrated yesterday, I've been fighting a cold, not up to dealing with K because he was totally in my face. So he suggested I go upstairs and lay down and he would watch K. So he sets K up infront of some video games so he could play, then went into the next room to play with his computer. So all I hear downstairs is them yelling to each other... Kieran wanting help on the game, Ry telling him to try, just normal conversation *but* how am I supposed to rest if the two of them are yelling over silly stuff just to be heard. If he wanted me to rest, why didn't he stay in the same room?? So I go downstairs, it was futile to rest. Ry checks in later with me about why I seem frustrated, then kinda gets frustrated with my response and goes back to the computer. Why check in if he wasn't open to listening?? Why not talk to me about it??
He has good intentions but doesn't know how to follow through. I understand he is trying. But that doesn't negate that I can still be frustrated. Not because it isn't going my way, but the result he is trying to achieve isn't happening. I try to be supportive but where is the line between supporting him and staying true to my feelings too.
I'm not in the best place to deal with all this. He obviously isn't in a good place either. So how do we balance everything that is going on without tearing ourselves apart. Ry is convinced we should just wait and see what the dr says but that isn't enough. We still aren't happy, and adjusting to our different values and life styles.
I don't know how to build our relationship upwards and work on settling into the new place and life. I need a girlfriend close by to go for coffee with to vent and destress and do girl things.
I was frustrated yesterday, I've been fighting a cold, not up to dealing with K because he was totally in my face. So he suggested I go upstairs and lay down and he would watch K. So he sets K up infront of some video games so he could play, then went into the next room to play with his computer. So all I hear downstairs is them yelling to each other... Kieran wanting help on the game, Ry telling him to try, just normal conversation *but* how am I supposed to rest if the two of them are yelling over silly stuff just to be heard. If he wanted me to rest, why didn't he stay in the same room?? So I go downstairs, it was futile to rest. Ry checks in later with me about why I seem frustrated, then kinda gets frustrated with my response and goes back to the computer. Why check in if he wasn't open to listening?? Why not talk to me about it??
He has good intentions but doesn't know how to follow through. I understand he is trying. But that doesn't negate that I can still be frustrated. Not because it isn't going my way, but the result he is trying to achieve isn't happening. I try to be supportive but where is the line between supporting him and staying true to my feelings too.
I'm not in the best place to deal with all this. He obviously isn't in a good place either. So how do we balance everything that is going on without tearing ourselves apart. Ry is convinced we should just wait and see what the dr says but that isn't enough. We still aren't happy, and adjusting to our different values and life styles.
I don't know how to build our relationship upwards and work on settling into the new place and life. I need a girlfriend close by to go for coffee with to vent and destress and do girl things.