You want mint on pillow?
One of the best (and probably only) perk of having the physical features of a seven year old when you're 22 is this:
That's right, I can shop in the kiddy section for cheap shoes. Who else over the age of ten has Hello Kitty flip flops? No one, thank you very much, I'm the coolest.
Clothing stores are a mecca for those cackling hen beasts known as women. On my daily venture through South Oakland I thought I'd pop into Rue 21 since they're having a BOGO t-shirt sale. Like I don't have enough clothes. It was here I was priveleged to such information as:
"I like tank tops I don't need to wear a bra with. Especially now that like my nipples are pierced and they really poke out!"
This coming from a girl who obviously hasn't been introduced to my friend and confidant, gravity.
"The only way to buy underwear is out of a bin. I mean if it's going to be touching my sweaty vag, why would I pay more than a dollar for it?"
Yum.
And my personal favorite for the day -
"Like, I totally don't understand why he didn't call me back. I left three messages and stopped by but his roommates were the only ones home. I thought it was a nice date and I even slept with him."
Gee, I can't imagine why on earth he never called. Maybe if you hadn't stalked, I mean slept with him he'd have a little respect for you. But what am I saying, respect is overrated.
Three months, I finally take a guy home last night, and I'm introduced to male impotence. Thank you karma for continuing to be a dirty tramp.
That's right, I can shop in the kiddy section for cheap shoes. Who else over the age of ten has Hello Kitty flip flops? No one, thank you very much, I'm the coolest.
Clothing stores are a mecca for those cackling hen beasts known as women. On my daily venture through South Oakland I thought I'd pop into Rue 21 since they're having a BOGO t-shirt sale. Like I don't have enough clothes. It was here I was priveleged to such information as:
"I like tank tops I don't need to wear a bra with. Especially now that like my nipples are pierced and they really poke out!"
This coming from a girl who obviously hasn't been introduced to my friend and confidant, gravity.
"The only way to buy underwear is out of a bin. I mean if it's going to be touching my sweaty vag, why would I pay more than a dollar for it?"
Yum.
And my personal favorite for the day -
"Like, I totally don't understand why he didn't call me back. I left three messages and stopped by but his roommates were the only ones home. I thought it was a nice date and I even slept with him."
Gee, I can't imagine why on earth he never called. Maybe if you hadn't stalked, I mean slept with him he'd have a little respect for you. But what am I saying, respect is overrated.
Three months, I finally take a guy home last night, and I'm introduced to male impotence. Thank you karma for continuing to be a dirty tramp.