(no subject)
Aggravated,
I know everything's fine.
But it just seems like everyone's always harsher/crueler than they have to be
It's not getting them anywhere.
I took my first university midterm today, and was really upset. I spent all yesterday studying for a realllly long time. And I shouldn't have even bothered. I got maybe one question that I wouldn't have, if I hadn't spent atleast four hours of my life studying. And I just can't bring myself to do more for two other classes I feel will be the exact same.
Trying not to smoke, and I've been doing a damn good job of it,
might not drink, but I'm not sure. I'll probably just not drink too much,
I just feel like I need to give some things up,
that I have so much, and I just keep being lazy and just... absorbing everything.
I just need to come up with some self improvement.
But I don't know where to begin.
I think alot of it is from not creating anymore.
I feel a gap in my life, that needs to be filled
emptied of materials and filled with something more substantial.
I know I'm incredibly lucky in so many ways,
my father's paying for my university, but I'm not getting as much out of it as I did at SCCC so I don't know what the hell to do.
I'm thinking about switching to Evergreen.
But I'm so proud, I hate switching out of something that I committed to.
I keep hoping for my eyes to open, and for something major to change.
I guess I've just had a hard day.
And can't imagine staying here for four years.
I need to talk to an advisor.
If I can push my way through a degree in two years, I know I can make this work, any longer than that and I'm taking a year or two off.
I know everything's fine.
But it just seems like everyone's always harsher/crueler than they have to be
It's not getting them anywhere.
I took my first university midterm today, and was really upset. I spent all yesterday studying for a realllly long time. And I shouldn't have even bothered. I got maybe one question that I wouldn't have, if I hadn't spent atleast four hours of my life studying. And I just can't bring myself to do more for two other classes I feel will be the exact same.
Trying not to smoke, and I've been doing a damn good job of it,
might not drink, but I'm not sure. I'll probably just not drink too much,
I just feel like I need to give some things up,
that I have so much, and I just keep being lazy and just... absorbing everything.
I just need to come up with some self improvement.
But I don't know where to begin.
I think alot of it is from not creating anymore.
I feel a gap in my life, that needs to be filled
emptied of materials and filled with something more substantial.
I know I'm incredibly lucky in so many ways,
my father's paying for my university, but I'm not getting as much out of it as I did at SCCC so I don't know what the hell to do.
I'm thinking about switching to Evergreen.
But I'm so proud, I hate switching out of something that I committed to.
I keep hoping for my eyes to open, and for something major to change.
I guess I've just had a hard day.
And can't imagine staying here for four years.
I need to talk to an advisor.
If I can push my way through a degree in two years, I know I can make this work, any longer than that and I'm taking a year or two off.