Its been a while guys... haha a LOONG while
Morna and I went up to bradenton today, eventhough I only moved 25 mins away from my home it still reminded me of how much I miss the country. Sitting on the dock, with the river at my toes and the wind in my hair is a feeling I took for granted, the beauty of nature has always been a very prominent thing in my life and now it is absent in its natural raw form. Since I have moved its been great and its also been pretty bad. I love living in my new apartment with Morna, but I never want to go outside simply because city life sucks. For a girl who grew up in the country with 3 boys, all their friends and room to run for miles, living in a city with neighbors not even a stones throw away its a bit of a shock. Not only for me but my dog as well, and before she could get a chance to adjust the apartment complex has forced me to give her up. She is temporarily at my fathers house till I find her a permanent home. Other than that my life has become more and less expensive. The life of living only with utilities is over and now rent is added on there. I dont use as much gas but when I do drive its going somewhere to spend money, mainly bars. So cutting that out, there is not much to do around the house, no yard to maintain, the horses are 15 mins away, I dont have a dog to play with and I havent set my computer up in my room yet, so it leaves me with sleeping and tv, neither of which are very appealing most of the time.
The other weekend I went to visit Morna and I's friend Michael on the other coast, I only got to stay for one night but it was the best night I've had in a long time. I miss waking up in the morning and walking outside, simply just letting the dogs out the door instead of having to hike down flights of stairs with my dog on a leash. I miss sitting on the deck and hearing the obnoxious bugs and birds in the wind, and not having to worry about what I was wearing or what I wasnt wearing. I think the change is somewhat good, I knew I needed to be more social and I have definitely become more social, but I miss myself, being alone on the river with just a cigarrette and my dogs.
I will more than likely get used to it. We will see how it goes over the next year. All I know is that where I'm living now is not me. I will I could afford a house with some acreage and a small barn so I could still be on my own but still have my favorite things around me but as much as I am scraping the barrel right now not much is looking good right now.
I am not very happy with my job, since Will is gone I am the sole server at work, I like working there just not alone and not every damn day except Sunday and Monday. The money is not good enough for me to want to stay here, so I'm going to look at other options. I dont want to stress my father and I's relationship at all so I think it would be in my and his best interest for me to leave there.
I would like to make some decent money and take a little time off. I want to go up to the Carolinas, I dont care what the weather is like up there but I just want to take my horses somewhere and just have a little R.R. in the always beautiful appalachians.
I am worried about Ben and Colby being gone for so long on the boat. I hope that everything stays good since they fixed everything from the lightning strike. Colby still has glass and wires in his chest that the doctors couldnt get out but "they will work their way out" according to them. I hopet hey stay safe and make it through the whole trip with minor problems. I am also starting to see why Ben and Paul are always so frustrated with Peter, he is one LAZY fucker and the past few weeks I have come to realize it.
I have began talking to Matt again on occasion, I really miss having him as a friend. I miss the great time that we always had together and how great of a bond we had. But at the same time I've met a really great guy mentioned earlier in regards to last weekend. I really enjoy his company and I have never met anyone with as many parallels to me. I can see myself with him, and I would love to be with him but that is if he feels the same way. I have a feeling but I am not sure... I should probably figure that out.
The other weekend I went to visit Morna and I's friend Michael on the other coast, I only got to stay for one night but it was the best night I've had in a long time. I miss waking up in the morning and walking outside, simply just letting the dogs out the door instead of having to hike down flights of stairs with my dog on a leash. I miss sitting on the deck and hearing the obnoxious bugs and birds in the wind, and not having to worry about what I was wearing or what I wasnt wearing. I think the change is somewhat good, I knew I needed to be more social and I have definitely become more social, but I miss myself, being alone on the river with just a cigarrette and my dogs.
I will more than likely get used to it. We will see how it goes over the next year. All I know is that where I'm living now is not me. I will I could afford a house with some acreage and a small barn so I could still be on my own but still have my favorite things around me but as much as I am scraping the barrel right now not much is looking good right now.
I am not very happy with my job, since Will is gone I am the sole server at work, I like working there just not alone and not every damn day except Sunday and Monday. The money is not good enough for me to want to stay here, so I'm going to look at other options. I dont want to stress my father and I's relationship at all so I think it would be in my and his best interest for me to leave there.
I would like to make some decent money and take a little time off. I want to go up to the Carolinas, I dont care what the weather is like up there but I just want to take my horses somewhere and just have a little R.R. in the always beautiful appalachians.
I am worried about Ben and Colby being gone for so long on the boat. I hope that everything stays good since they fixed everything from the lightning strike. Colby still has glass and wires in his chest that the doctors couldnt get out but "they will work their way out" according to them. I hopet hey stay safe and make it through the whole trip with minor problems. I am also starting to see why Ben and Paul are always so frustrated with Peter, he is one LAZY fucker and the past few weeks I have come to realize it.
I have began talking to Matt again on occasion, I really miss having him as a friend. I miss the great time that we always had together and how great of a bond we had. But at the same time I've met a really great guy mentioned earlier in regards to last weekend. I really enjoy his company and I have never met anyone with as many parallels to me. I can see myself with him, and I would love to be with him but that is if he feels the same way. I have a feeling but I am not sure... I should probably figure that out.