Out to sea
I love being out here on the open ocean. Somewhere where the sky and sea meet I can tuck away all of my problems. I can stash away all my anxiety, fear, dilemmas in that place and catch my breath. Out here I can close my eyes and feel the wind on my face, hear the gentle lapping of the waves against the side of the ship and let it lull my problems away at least for a moment. A moment of peace. Granted I can't talk to family and friends out here, but at the same time; I don't hava a phone going off with people on the other end filling me with their problems and anger. I don't have to worry for a short while about bills, arguments, problems at home. I am just here on the open ocean with the cobalt blue water to stare at into oblivion. Here at these solitudal moments of rest I can feel power beneath my fingers when I drive this destroyer into the night.
Everything is good as long as I don't remember that I am at work. Then it all settles in that those I have to deal with here as well. I have to feel the walls close in again. Remember that there is work to be done, deadlines to me met, expectations that must be held up to par for the course. Then I cry and remember that there is no real escape from anything anymore. What I wouldn't do to be naked in a forest bathing in a cool pool of water. Lie in the shade of the trees for hours listening to the calm of the forest No people, no traffic/jet noise. All I have are my little moments of escape. Fragments as to my days running wild and having hours to feel wild and like the heathen I feel inside. No real time to lavish myself in a calm place. So I cry...... My tears will place one more salty kiss to this sea that I love so much. An addition instead of the subtraction that I am feeling in my life right now. Jeeze listen to me*sigh*..... That which does not kill you makes you stronger... But I'd still like to be naked in the forest again >:P
Everything is good as long as I don't remember that I am at work. Then it all settles in that those I have to deal with here as well. I have to feel the walls close in again. Remember that there is work to be done, deadlines to me met, expectations that must be held up to par for the course. Then I cry and remember that there is no real escape from anything anymore. What I wouldn't do to be naked in a forest bathing in a cool pool of water. Lie in the shade of the trees for hours listening to the calm of the forest No people, no traffic/jet noise. All I have are my little moments of escape. Fragments as to my days running wild and having hours to feel wild and like the heathen I feel inside. No real time to lavish myself in a calm place. So I cry...... My tears will place one more salty kiss to this sea that I love so much. An addition instead of the subtraction that I am feeling in my life right now. Jeeze listen to me*sigh*..... That which does not kill you makes you stronger... But I'd still like to be naked in the forest again >:P