Eclipse Chapters 24 to THE END OF THE BOOK
Chapter 24
Edward doesn't mind that Bella kissed Jacob, because he has no spine/is a nice guy. Bella wants him to punish her, because she has been naughty. In fact, she's so angry, she demands he kiss her so she feels good again.
Wow, actually, the book basically just said this: "Bella wants Edward to kiss her, because otherwise she's torn between two men. One of them she enjoys for his personality, and the other she wants to have sex with. She chooses the sexy one, and needs the sex to keep herself interested". I mean if this were any other book, that's what would have been said.
Yeah, then Bella tries to have sex with him and he says no. Poor Seth, standing watch outside, HAS TO LISTEN TO EVERYTHING POOR SETH.
By making Edward opt out of the fight and stay with her, Bella ensured Victoria's nose picking up where she was by smelling Wardo, because their brilliant plan only made sense if no one else was with Bella but a wurrwolf. So she selflessly ruined everything.
Then Victoria and her little homeboy Riley come. Wardo decides to hug it out with Riley, who's in mad like with Victoria, which is why he's around. Victoria sounds like that evil chick from The Emperor's New Groove after she was turned into a cat.
"It was lion versus lioness". Unfortunately for Wardo, it's the lioness's job to do the hunting. HAHA GET IT? LIKE THE LION KING? My icon matches this.
THEN BELLA STABS HERSELF TO SAVE EVERYONE. OH GOD IT CANNOT GET ANY WORSE. IF I WEREN'T ALREADY SICK I WOULD HAVE BECOME SO.
Then Edward bites off Victoria's head, and--yyyyyawwwwwwwn, oh sorry, I just cut my wrists out of boredom.
Chapter 25
Edward and Seth set the remains on fire, then give each other props. Emmett is jealous.
Edward: I just beheaded and dismembered a "living" thing right in front of you.
Bella: WHO CARES, GAWD.
Edward: Doesn't that bother you?
Bella: HAELL NO, LIKE I GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THAT.
idk I guess that's supposed to be romantic. But I saw a calf get cut in half with a hack saw once, and that shit is NOT normal. Bitch is trippin.
Then the eye-talians show up for some conflict, and because Victoria wasn't really a big dealio.
OH GOD, THEN BELLA FAINTS. JESUS CHRIST THIS IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME ANGRY. And some vampire chick surrendered to them, because who cares. Yeah anyway, Jane and her crew show up, including Felix who's kind of cool for no reason, and she mucks about angering everyone.
Felix destroys new chick, and they leave.
Chapter 26 THIS HAD BETTER BE THE END
Bella's safe from Edward and Jane's powers because they happen inside the mind, whereas Jasper and Alice's happen outside. Or the author just didn't think of a good reason and backtracked to make one up. Either/or.
Leah is a fail wurrwolf because she's a woman. Just so you know. Ugggghhhh Jacob and Bella talk about feelings forEVER.
Bella demands Jacob be an asshole to her, so he is. TOO BAD HE DIDN'T DO IT ON HIS OWN. Jacob knows his Bible stories, because Jesus was an injun too. And then the author takes Jacob's ONLY victory and reminds us that Wardo would have done the SAME thing, except their love is real so he can't.
Jacob: Edward is like crack.
Bella: Yes, that analogy has been used more than once in this series.
Jacob: That's... unhealthy, don't you think?
Bella: NO, CRACK IS PERFECTLY HEALTHY.
CHAPTER 27 JUST END
Bella is a needy, disgusting woman who cannot live without a strong man like Edward to protect her. AND SHE'S COMPARED TO CATHY AGAIN. SHE FUCKING READS FROM WUTHERING HEIGHTS. Is the author just going through books that she likes and applying the situations to her characters? Yes, she is. This is fanfiction. This is fucking Pride and Prejudice, Romeo and Juliet, and Wuthering Heights fanfiction.
The dress Alice got for Bella looks like it came from 1918, which is what Edward would have LOVED for his waifu to wear. And since Edward wants it, Bella wants it too, because he's male and therefore right. I am feeling so sick right now, and not because I am legit sick. Then they decide not to have sex, big surprise.
FINALLY THE END
Leah tells Jacob she doesn't like Bella and doesn't want to go to her wedding. Then we're reminded that Leah isn't even pretty, so nyah.
Then Jacob calls her a tranny bitch and makes fun of her for being dumped by Samimus Prime, and he wants her to jump off a cliff and die.
Readers: Hey, why didn't Jacob win?
Meyer: Because... he's a big stupid jerk, and Edward is perfect.
Readers: But Jacob--
Meyer: CALLS LEAH A TRANNY AND IS AN ASSHOLE, NOW WHAT? NOW WHAT? THIS IS MY BOOK. EDWARD WINS, GET OVER IT.
And yeah, Jacob is mad that Wardo invited him to their wedding.
THE END OF THE BOOK, OH THANK SWEET CHRIST IN FUDGE FORM. I was going to use my Lion King icon, but I am too angry.
Edward doesn't mind that Bella kissed Jacob, because he has no spine/is a nice guy. Bella wants him to punish her, because she has been naughty. In fact, she's so angry, she demands he kiss her so she feels good again.
Wow, actually, the book basically just said this: "Bella wants Edward to kiss her, because otherwise she's torn between two men. One of them she enjoys for his personality, and the other she wants to have sex with. She chooses the sexy one, and needs the sex to keep herself interested". I mean if this were any other book, that's what would have been said.
Yeah, then Bella tries to have sex with him and he says no. Poor Seth, standing watch outside, HAS TO LISTEN TO EVERYTHING POOR SETH.
By making Edward opt out of the fight and stay with her, Bella ensured Victoria's nose picking up where she was by smelling Wardo, because their brilliant plan only made sense if no one else was with Bella but a wurrwolf. So she selflessly ruined everything.
Then Victoria and her little homeboy Riley come. Wardo decides to hug it out with Riley, who's in mad like with Victoria, which is why he's around. Victoria sounds like that evil chick from The Emperor's New Groove after she was turned into a cat.
"It was lion versus lioness". Unfortunately for Wardo, it's the lioness's job to do the hunting. HAHA GET IT? LIKE THE LION KING? My icon matches this.
THEN BELLA STABS HERSELF TO SAVE EVERYONE. OH GOD IT CANNOT GET ANY WORSE. IF I WEREN'T ALREADY SICK I WOULD HAVE BECOME SO.
Then Edward bites off Victoria's head, and--yyyyyawwwwwwwn, oh sorry, I just cut my wrists out of boredom.
Chapter 25
Edward and Seth set the remains on fire, then give each other props. Emmett is jealous.
Edward: I just beheaded and dismembered a "living" thing right in front of you.
Bella: WHO CARES, GAWD.
Edward: Doesn't that bother you?
Bella: HAELL NO, LIKE I GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THAT.
idk I guess that's supposed to be romantic. But I saw a calf get cut in half with a hack saw once, and that shit is NOT normal. Bitch is trippin.
Then the eye-talians show up for some conflict, and because Victoria wasn't really a big dealio.
OH GOD, THEN BELLA FAINTS. JESUS CHRIST THIS IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME ANGRY. And some vampire chick surrendered to them, because who cares. Yeah anyway, Jane and her crew show up, including Felix who's kind of cool for no reason, and she mucks about angering everyone.
Felix destroys new chick, and they leave.
Chapter 26 THIS HAD BETTER BE THE END
Bella's safe from Edward and Jane's powers because they happen inside the mind, whereas Jasper and Alice's happen outside. Or the author just didn't think of a good reason and backtracked to make one up. Either/or.
Leah is a fail wurrwolf because she's a woman. Just so you know. Ugggghhhh Jacob and Bella talk about feelings forEVER.
Bella demands Jacob be an asshole to her, so he is. TOO BAD HE DIDN'T DO IT ON HIS OWN. Jacob knows his Bible stories, because Jesus was an injun too. And then the author takes Jacob's ONLY victory and reminds us that Wardo would have done the SAME thing, except their love is real so he can't.
Jacob: Edward is like crack.
Bella: Yes, that analogy has been used more than once in this series.
Jacob: That's... unhealthy, don't you think?
Bella: NO, CRACK IS PERFECTLY HEALTHY.
CHAPTER 27 JUST END
Bella is a needy, disgusting woman who cannot live without a strong man like Edward to protect her. AND SHE'S COMPARED TO CATHY AGAIN. SHE FUCKING READS FROM WUTHERING HEIGHTS. Is the author just going through books that she likes and applying the situations to her characters? Yes, she is. This is fanfiction. This is fucking Pride and Prejudice, Romeo and Juliet, and Wuthering Heights fanfiction.
The dress Alice got for Bella looks like it came from 1918, which is what Edward would have LOVED for his waifu to wear. And since Edward wants it, Bella wants it too, because he's male and therefore right. I am feeling so sick right now, and not because I am legit sick. Then they decide not to have sex, big surprise.
FINALLY THE END
Leah tells Jacob she doesn't like Bella and doesn't want to go to her wedding. Then we're reminded that Leah isn't even pretty, so nyah.
Then Jacob calls her a tranny bitch and makes fun of her for being dumped by Samimus Prime, and he wants her to jump off a cliff and die.
Readers: Hey, why didn't Jacob win?
Meyer: Because... he's a big stupid jerk, and Edward is perfect.
Readers: But Jacob--
Meyer: CALLS LEAH A TRANNY AND IS AN ASSHOLE, NOW WHAT? NOW WHAT? THIS IS MY BOOK. EDWARD WINS, GET OVER IT.
And yeah, Jacob is mad that Wardo invited him to their wedding.
THE END OF THE BOOK, OH THANK SWEET CHRIST IN FUDGE FORM. I was going to use my Lion King icon, but I am too angry.