(no subject)
I cannot believe my mom sometimes and how she makes me feel like shit.
Since I was in 6th grade I've known that I wanted to become an Architect. Since I was a toddler however, I've known that my family was poor.
All through highschool I've exceeded my standards in any math or architectural drafting class I've taken. I never thought that it could go anywhere past highschool.
My mom was talking to me tonight about colleges. Finally. However, she says that I'm not mature enough for a University and is disappointed in me for not going to college right out of highschool. Well guess fucking what mom. You never talked to me about it. I had no idea it was even a possibility to go, and now you blame me for thinking that we were too poor to afford it?
Since I graduated, I've had to learn everything on my own. How to make a resume. How to find a job. How to get from place to place. How to apply to colleges. How to get health insurance. How to be in a healthy relationship (which I'm still not good at btw). My mom may have sat down and shown me how to read a map, and how to spend my money, but I had/have no idea how to get to where I want in life unless I find a way to teach myself.
And now she's blaming me for not going to college full time? We'll fuck me, I guess I should just pull out that 50,000 out of my gay ass and pay for the damn thing. I've always wanted to become an architect. I've showed her my floorplans. She know's I'm good at it. I cant do everything by myself. fuck, I'm stressed here.
I just want a normal fucking family. A mom and a dad. The dad to take care of my mom, and my mom to take care of me. I need to be shown how to do these things, I cant do everything by myself, and be blamed for not doing it correctly.
I want to go to college. I want to devote my life to becoming an architect. My mom doesnt know a thing about me, and its sad. I want her to know whats going on inside my mind. I want her to be happy with a husband so I dont have to be the one to take care of her at my expense. I'm losing valuable experience here by having to take care of my mom emotionaly, regardless of if it means that during the time takign care of her, I lose life lessons.
I cant do this. I need a real family. A dad.
Since I was in 6th grade I've known that I wanted to become an Architect. Since I was a toddler however, I've known that my family was poor.
All through highschool I've exceeded my standards in any math or architectural drafting class I've taken. I never thought that it could go anywhere past highschool.
My mom was talking to me tonight about colleges. Finally. However, she says that I'm not mature enough for a University and is disappointed in me for not going to college right out of highschool. Well guess fucking what mom. You never talked to me about it. I had no idea it was even a possibility to go, and now you blame me for thinking that we were too poor to afford it?
Since I graduated, I've had to learn everything on my own. How to make a resume. How to find a job. How to get from place to place. How to apply to colleges. How to get health insurance. How to be in a healthy relationship (which I'm still not good at btw). My mom may have sat down and shown me how to read a map, and how to spend my money, but I had/have no idea how to get to where I want in life unless I find a way to teach myself.
And now she's blaming me for not going to college full time? We'll fuck me, I guess I should just pull out that 50,000 out of my gay ass and pay for the damn thing. I've always wanted to become an architect. I've showed her my floorplans. She know's I'm good at it. I cant do everything by myself. fuck, I'm stressed here.
I just want a normal fucking family. A mom and a dad. The dad to take care of my mom, and my mom to take care of me. I need to be shown how to do these things, I cant do everything by myself, and be blamed for not doing it correctly.
I want to go to college. I want to devote my life to becoming an architect. My mom doesnt know a thing about me, and its sad. I want her to know whats going on inside my mind. I want her to be happy with a husband so I dont have to be the one to take care of her at my expense. I'm losing valuable experience here by having to take care of my mom emotionaly, regardless of if it means that during the time takign care of her, I lose life lessons.
I cant do this. I need a real family. A dad.