I can pretty much guarantee that because she neither thinks about nor expects any "good time" beyond the moment, she won't be robbed. She'll be happy and enjoying her life right up until the moment that she peacefully leaves it with no regrets. It's one of the blessings of an animal's life philosophy.
Those of us who are left behind are the ones who suffer and grieve.
Not to mention that statistically, if she'd lived wild rather than as your beloved kitty, she probably wouldn't have had about 13-15 years of that time. You gifted her that, along with love and care. Never feel guilty for robbing her of anything - you gave her everything!
(We did put a different cat to sleep years ago, but in that case it was also fairly straightforward; her prognosis was so poor that otherwise we would have had to let her die in pain within a few days. So I do know how hard it is to feel like you made that decision for them... even in a situation where it's *clear* it hurts and it's impossibly difficult.)
Edit to add : having done it, I should mention that putting a cat to sleep really is - peaceful. They just drift off, and they don't know that they won't wake up. There's no fear or pain or even worry. It's humans who agonize about dying, because they can anticipate it; Cocoa will only know that that you're nearby and loving her as she falls asleep. (It's also really, really quick. Like, less than a minute. They get a sedative first to guarantee that they won't notice, and then the injection.) It's weird to say, but I ended up wishing we could have offered the same sort of graceful, peaceful death to my grandmother!
I think the hardest part of all of this has been that I perceive Cocoa's feelings and reactions like a human's. However, I am sure that she is not thinking about death; she is just trying to live comfortably day by day.
Considering that she spends most of her day sleeping either in her cat bed or near the heater, compared to what she used to do even a few years ago, I know that things aren't as great as they used to be.
Thanks for telling me what to expect. I know I'm going to be a bawling mess (I came home from work today, picked her up, and immediately broke down into tears), so it's good to know what will happen.
I agree; there would be some serenity in knowing you could ease your pain in a similar way we can ease our pets' pain.
Of course you're going to be a bawling mess. When we walked out of the room where they put Boopsie to sleep, and they took her body away to be cremated and the ashes mailed to us later, I walked out of the room, and made it to the hall, and just started sobbing uncontrollably. I just fell apart. We'd been wise enough to bring the friend that we would have left Boopsie with with us, so she could say goodbye, too, and SHE ended up having to drive -- I just couldn't.
And I just randomly burst into sobs for the next week.
And I STILL feel sad when I think about it.
And all that is good. I'm GLAD of all that. Because Boopsie's memory deserves it.
Those of us who are left behind are the ones who suffer and grieve.
Not to mention that statistically, if she'd lived wild rather than as your beloved kitty, she probably wouldn't have had about 13-15 years of that time. You gifted her that, along with love and care. Never feel guilty for robbing her of anything - you gave her everything!
(We did put a different cat to sleep years ago, but in that case it was also fairly straightforward; her prognosis was so poor that otherwise we would have had to let her die in pain within a few days. So I do know how hard it is to feel like you made that decision for them... even in a situation where it's *clear* it hurts and it's impossibly difficult.)
Edit to add : having done it, I should mention that putting a cat to sleep really is - peaceful. They just drift off, and they don't know that they won't wake up. There's no fear or pain or even worry. It's humans who agonize about dying, because they can anticipate it; Cocoa will only know that that you're nearby and loving her as she falls asleep. (It's also really, really quick. Like, less than a minute. They get a sedative first to guarantee that they won't notice, and then the injection.) It's weird to say, but I ended up wishing we could have offered the same sort of graceful, peaceful death to my grandmother!
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Considering that she spends most of her day sleeping either in her cat bed or near the heater, compared to what she used to do even a few years ago, I know that things aren't as great as they used to be.
Thanks for telling me what to expect. I know I'm going to be a bawling mess (I came home from work today, picked her up, and immediately broke down into tears), so it's good to know what will happen.
I agree; there would be some serenity in knowing you could ease your pain in a similar way we can ease our pets' pain.
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And I just randomly burst into sobs for the next week.
And I STILL feel sad when I think about it.
And all that is good. I'm GLAD of all that. Because Boopsie's memory deserves it.
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