Hunger headaches humility
I'm not crying because i'm upset.
I'm crying because it hurts.
Believe me: there is a difference.
By the way, I think i'm really going to die of headaches. I should get my brain scanned, and a full body checkup done. There's something bad going on inside my body. It's screwing itself up- well done.
I know it was really obvious I was going through whatever I was going through because my puffy eyes persisted the entire day- it's extremely rare, mine usually go away in one hour max. But thank you if you were worried. I just... couldn't voice it out.
I nearly forgot what having a real friend felt like.
I randomly had lunch with somebody today.
That somebody... is somebody who would cheer me up; saying things you'd never expect to hear from him, laughing together, loving/ hating things and people together, bitching about every little thing, not letting me stay in my anger/ pain/ sadness/ frustration/ negativity/ hate.
I didn't think I would open up and say anything the whole day, but to that somebody, opening up and complaining felt so... fun. Because for sure he would listen, for sure he'd make some asshole remark, which somehow helped me calm down.
Thanks lah ass. (:
I don't know how long more i'd last, I don't know if I even want to last. Right now, the easiest thing to do is succumb to everything that's going wrong, forgetting everything we've worked for. Do I trust you? Tell me. Do I have reason to? You might not have done anything to make me distrust you, but have you worked for my trust? Did you not throw every thing away in the last few days? Do you not see what you're putting me through?
Because I'm trying to understand why, I'm letting you go. Not because I want to, but because you want me to. You think i'm dumb enough to put myself through this? It's all for you. Don't forget.
But don't think you can come back so easily- I don't know if i'm bighearted enough to forget everything. I don't know what i'd feel when I look at you. I don't know if I would make you work from the bottom up. How can I tell you that you're something else if you're acting like this? How can I not agree that you're fucking things up? How can I possibly deny all the things you accuse yourself of? I can't. I don't know if i'm strong and secure enough to even have you back.
Don't fucking promise me anything. Don't.
Don't fuck me up, i'm the last thing you have left.
Don't run. Don't assume.
I'm crying because it hurts.
Believe me: there is a difference.
By the way, I think i'm really going to die of headaches. I should get my brain scanned, and a full body checkup done. There's something bad going on inside my body. It's screwing itself up- well done.
I know it was really obvious I was going through whatever I was going through because my puffy eyes persisted the entire day- it's extremely rare, mine usually go away in one hour max. But thank you if you were worried. I just... couldn't voice it out.
I nearly forgot what having a real friend felt like.
I randomly had lunch with somebody today.
That somebody... is somebody who would cheer me up; saying things you'd never expect to hear from him, laughing together, loving/ hating things and people together, bitching about every little thing, not letting me stay in my anger/ pain/ sadness/ frustration/ negativity/ hate.
I didn't think I would open up and say anything the whole day, but to that somebody, opening up and complaining felt so... fun. Because for sure he would listen, for sure he'd make some asshole remark, which somehow helped me calm down.
Thanks lah ass. (:
I don't know how long more i'd last, I don't know if I even want to last. Right now, the easiest thing to do is succumb to everything that's going wrong, forgetting everything we've worked for. Do I trust you? Tell me. Do I have reason to? You might not have done anything to make me distrust you, but have you worked for my trust? Did you not throw every thing away in the last few days? Do you not see what you're putting me through?
Because I'm trying to understand why, I'm letting you go. Not because I want to, but because you want me to. You think i'm dumb enough to put myself through this? It's all for you. Don't forget.
But don't think you can come back so easily- I don't know if i'm bighearted enough to forget everything. I don't know what i'd feel when I look at you. I don't know if I would make you work from the bottom up. How can I tell you that you're something else if you're acting like this? How can I not agree that you're fucking things up? How can I possibly deny all the things you accuse yourself of? I can't. I don't know if i'm strong and secure enough to even have you back.
Don't fucking promise me anything. Don't.
Don't fuck me up, i'm the last thing you have left.
Don't run. Don't assume.