First Time for Everything...
I've never answered one of the LJ Writer's Block questions before, but I felt compelled today. The question was simple: "Pirates or Ninjas?" The answer is equally simple.
Pirates are the high point of human evolution. There is no higher calling on this earth than to ride the high seas, plundering, pillaging, drinking grog, and singing chanties. Let's make a quick list of everything that makes pirates totally awesome:
- Pirates are loud, smelly, fun-loving brutes.
- Pirates are generally rich, especially in the precious metals sector.
- Pirates have cannons, and we all know how I feel about cannons.
- Pirates are at home on land and sea, and in special cases such as Crimson Skies or Tale Spin, the air.
- Pirates are big fans of flagons of grog, which makes them fun at parties.
- Pirates significantly reduce global warming.
- Pirates make use of heartwarming and colorful jargon and phrases, such as "matey," "avast!" "ye scurvy dogs," "I'll keelhaul the lot o' ya!"
- Pirates wear awesome sailor clothes, braces of pistols, gold and silver, trinkets from the heathen isles they've visited, and burning gunpowder in their beards.
- Pirates fight the Navy, who are my sworn enemy.
Ninjas, on the other hand, are a slimy group of cowardly assassins who fear to face pirates in open battle. Your typical ninja is hunched, hideously ugly, afraid of spiders, and unable to navigate using a sextant. Let's examine some ninja attributes:
- Ninjas are silent, which makes them fairly boring to hang around, as they have nothing to add to conversations.
- Ninjas only fight their enemies by sneaking up on them in the dark, whereas pirates fight their enemies by having cutlass duels with them on the forecastle or hurling tankards of ale at them in taverns.
- Ninjas have next to no cash and live with their moms for the most part.
- Ninja lingo mostly reads as "..."
- Ninjas are only comfortable sneaking around the courtyards of Japanese warlords at night time, which gives them a fairly limited overall scope.
- Whereas pirates have a well-known recruiting anthem ("Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!") Ninjas have a pamphlet made to be distributed to Wal-Mart employees who are looking for a career change.
- Ninjas dress like it's laundry day and all they have left is their pajamas.
I hope this clears up any confusion on the Ninjas vs. Pirates debate. Feel free to post any reasons I've missed about why pirates are so awesome.
Pirates are the high point of human evolution. There is no higher calling on this earth than to ride the high seas, plundering, pillaging, drinking grog, and singing chanties. Let's make a quick list of everything that makes pirates totally awesome:
- Pirates are loud, smelly, fun-loving brutes.
- Pirates are generally rich, especially in the precious metals sector.
- Pirates have cannons, and we all know how I feel about cannons.
- Pirates are at home on land and sea, and in special cases such as Crimson Skies or Tale Spin, the air.
- Pirates are big fans of flagons of grog, which makes them fun at parties.
- Pirates significantly reduce global warming.
- Pirates make use of heartwarming and colorful jargon and phrases, such as "matey," "avast!" "ye scurvy dogs," "I'll keelhaul the lot o' ya!"
- Pirates wear awesome sailor clothes, braces of pistols, gold and silver, trinkets from the heathen isles they've visited, and burning gunpowder in their beards.
- Pirates fight the Navy, who are my sworn enemy.
Ninjas, on the other hand, are a slimy group of cowardly assassins who fear to face pirates in open battle. Your typical ninja is hunched, hideously ugly, afraid of spiders, and unable to navigate using a sextant. Let's examine some ninja attributes:
- Ninjas are silent, which makes them fairly boring to hang around, as they have nothing to add to conversations.
- Ninjas only fight their enemies by sneaking up on them in the dark, whereas pirates fight their enemies by having cutlass duels with them on the forecastle or hurling tankards of ale at them in taverns.
- Ninjas have next to no cash and live with their moms for the most part.
- Ninja lingo mostly reads as "..."
- Ninjas are only comfortable sneaking around the courtyards of Japanese warlords at night time, which gives them a fairly limited overall scope.
- Whereas pirates have a well-known recruiting anthem ("Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!") Ninjas have a pamphlet made to be distributed to Wal-Mart employees who are looking for a career change.
- Ninjas dress like it's laundry day and all they have left is their pajamas.
I hope this clears up any confusion on the Ninjas vs. Pirates debate. Feel free to post any reasons I've missed about why pirates are so awesome.