fic - Give 'Em Blood
title: Give 'Em Blood
rating: PG-13 for Envy being Envy-like, blood, and a bit of language.
fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
pairing: Alter!Envy/Ed
prompt: "You could at least wash the blood off first!"
summary: In which "our world"!Envy is a serial killer, lives with Ed, and hilarity does not ensue. Snarky!Ed does, though.
a/n: Don't ask. Just- don't ask. One day Priyanka and I came up with the idea of Envy's real-world self being a serial killer (who has seizures for some reason - her idea, not mine, I never understood it much) and we randomly named him Gareth (Priyanka wanted to name him Gabriel but I couldn't disassociate the name from Sylar from Heroes and - telekinetic Envy is a scaaaaary thought) and we decided he lived with Ed SOMEHOW - maybe if he'd never met Alfons and the Gate had never opened back up or something like that and, anyway - this was born.
Ed, by the way, is a professor at some nearby university. He doesn't get payed a lot. It sucks. Also his students keep bringing homeless cats to class and he doesn't have the heart to tell them they can't keep them, because they remind him so much of Al - so there's kind of a mini community of cats on the campus now.
Don't ask me how "Gareth" knows about Al.
I like this little universe. XD I think I want to write more for it...
He supposed that there were much cleaner, safer (for him, not them - safety was the last thing on his mind with them) ways to go about killing someone. Guns were easy, just point and pull the trigger. You could poison someone with hardly any trouble at all and make it look like an accident.
But guns were too easy and poison too boring and there was nothing quite like the feeling of a sharp object in his hands, nothing quite as - exhilarating was a good way to put it - as the scent of blood, so much fresh blood...
He'd taken to coming home late at night - much later than Edward would have liked, past three in the morning at least, grinning and splattered in red, which Edward also didn't like-
"Where the hell were you?"
"Where the hell do you think I was?" He leaned back against the front door. "Out ballroom dancing?"
"Funny," Ed snapped, rolling his eyes. "You're dripping on the carpet."
"It'll wash out."
"It'll wash out for half my salary this month, you mean!"
"If it's money that you want-"
Well, he could use some - the electric bill from sitting up waiting for that moron to get home - "I don't want it if you stole it off some dead man."
"Have it your own way, then. What's your problem anyway?" This was the fun part, pushing Ed's buttons in the exact sequence to make him explode. It was almost laughably easy, now. "I thought you liked blood. It's what you used to save your-"
"DON'T-" Ed yelled, then, realizing it was three AM and the neighbors could hear them, "talk about Alphonse," he finished, slightly less loudly.
"What'm I supposed to talk about then?" (Smirk.)
"Don't talk. Just shut up for once in your life, save me having to listen to your nonsense."
The problem was, of course, that a quiet Gareth was a bored Gareth, and when he got bored his attention would turn to either of two things. Mindless killing, or screwing with Ed's mind - and, well, the rest of him.
"At least wash the blood off first, you basta-" Ed managed to get out before being distracted by - er, certain other activities.
"... you could at least LET GO OF THE GODDAMN KNIFE!"
rating: PG-13 for Envy being Envy-like, blood, and a bit of language.
fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
pairing: Alter!Envy/Ed
prompt: "You could at least wash the blood off first!"
summary: In which "our world"!Envy is a serial killer, lives with Ed, and hilarity does not ensue. Snarky!Ed does, though.
a/n: Don't ask. Just- don't ask. One day Priyanka and I came up with the idea of Envy's real-world self being a serial killer (who has seizures for some reason - her idea, not mine, I never understood it much) and we randomly named him Gareth (Priyanka wanted to name him Gabriel but I couldn't disassociate the name from Sylar from Heroes and - telekinetic Envy is a scaaaaary thought) and we decided he lived with Ed SOMEHOW - maybe if he'd never met Alfons and the Gate had never opened back up or something like that and, anyway - this was born.
Ed, by the way, is a professor at some nearby university. He doesn't get payed a lot. It sucks. Also his students keep bringing homeless cats to class and he doesn't have the heart to tell them they can't keep them, because they remind him so much of Al - so there's kind of a mini community of cats on the campus now.
Don't ask me how "Gareth" knows about Al.
I like this little universe. XD I think I want to write more for it...
He supposed that there were much cleaner, safer (for him, not them - safety was the last thing on his mind with them) ways to go about killing someone. Guns were easy, just point and pull the trigger. You could poison someone with hardly any trouble at all and make it look like an accident.
But guns were too easy and poison too boring and there was nothing quite like the feeling of a sharp object in his hands, nothing quite as - exhilarating was a good way to put it - as the scent of blood, so much fresh blood...
He'd taken to coming home late at night - much later than Edward would have liked, past three in the morning at least, grinning and splattered in red, which Edward also didn't like-
"Where the hell were you?"
"Where the hell do you think I was?" He leaned back against the front door. "Out ballroom dancing?"
"Funny," Ed snapped, rolling his eyes. "You're dripping on the carpet."
"It'll wash out."
"It'll wash out for half my salary this month, you mean!"
"If it's money that you want-"
Well, he could use some - the electric bill from sitting up waiting for that moron to get home - "I don't want it if you stole it off some dead man."
"Have it your own way, then. What's your problem anyway?" This was the fun part, pushing Ed's buttons in the exact sequence to make him explode. It was almost laughably easy, now. "I thought you liked blood. It's what you used to save your-"
"DON'T-" Ed yelled, then, realizing it was three AM and the neighbors could hear them, "talk about Alphonse," he finished, slightly less loudly.
"What'm I supposed to talk about then?" (Smirk.)
"Don't talk. Just shut up for once in your life, save me having to listen to your nonsense."
The problem was, of course, that a quiet Gareth was a bored Gareth, and when he got bored his attention would turn to either of two things. Mindless killing, or screwing with Ed's mind - and, well, the rest of him.
"At least wash the blood off first, you basta-" Ed managed to get out before being distracted by - er, certain other activities.
"... you could at least LET GO OF THE GODDAMN KNIFE!"