( you've gotta spend some time, love )
Once again, I blame Priyanka for this. HOWWWWW CAN SHE MAKE ME SHIP EVERYTHING?! SHE HAS, LIKE, SUPER SHIP POWERS.
title: Replacement
rating: PG-13
pairing: Vincent/Gil (mostly one-sided), Gil ---> Oz
words: 314
warnings: Yaoi. Incest, at least one-sided. SEVERE twistedness on Gil's part.
a/n: This is like what happens when brain vomit and fanfiction meet and have a disabled child who is raised on... I don't know, drugs? Depressants? Anyway, it's second-person and uncapitalized and sorta stream-of-consciousness-y and might not make a lot of sense, so be warned.
his hair is the wrong shade of blond, too long and wavy and tousled about like he's just awoken from a nap - which he most likely has - and you think it's beautiful, you always have, but - you wish the hands tracing the outline of your body, leaving carelessly undone buttons and rumpled cloth in their wake, were smaller and softer and belonged to someone else. a particular someone else.
this is wrongwrongwrongsowrong, this shouldn't be happening, older brothers are meant to protect the younger ones, not - lead them on like this, not let them unwittingly be used as some stand-in, some replacement - you can't even justify it by telling yourself he started it, he kissed you first, he's not even in his right mind- though when is he ever?-
remember when you were sixteen and jack was gone for the day and vincent had dragged you to some secluded corner of the manor's gardens and-
(his fault)
- he'd kissed you against the crumbling stone wall and you hadn't known how to react-
(still his fault)
because it was only your second kiss, third if you counted a quick peck on the cheek from ada when you were very small, so you'd stood there unable to move or speak or even kiss him back-
(and that's his fault too, you hated the feeling of being powerless, of having no control, you were sick of being the one controlled)
"brother," he whispers in between kisses, "i missed you so much-" but it's not his voice you want to hear, and you close your eyes and imagine with every cell of your being that he's only saying your name and that his hair is shorter and his eyes green instead of awkwardly mismatched-
"i love you," he says, and this time you kiss him back
because this is the closest you will ever get and all you can do is pretend.