Confessions (Pickup Lines) 1
Title: Confessions (Pickup Lines) 1
Pairing: HoMin
Summary: Changmin confesses to Yunho in the most confusing (and cheesiest) ways.
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Humor, Smut
Disclaimer: TVXQ are the Kings - we belong to them. Trolol.
A/N: Okay, so this if my first ever HoMin. And it’s a oneshot that became a twoshot (but originally a oneshot).
And it’s also smut. What. Oh, and there’s top!Min. And the pickup lines make me want to tear my hair out xD
*
“Hyung, if you weren’t a figment of my imagination, I’d want to have your babies.”
The silence that follows is oddly unnerving.
Yunho’s staring up at Changmin, Jaejoong is wondering what the hell occurred in his mind for him to say that, Yoochun wants to laugh and Junsu facepalms and wants to die all over the place.
“Excuse me?” Yunho says, voice strained.
Changmin clears his throat and tries another line. “I’m changing my name to Uncle Sam, because I want you.”
This time, Yoochun really does laugh. He rolls on the floor and the others stare at him because he’s the only one who really gets it.
“Wait, you want me?” Yunho asks, confusion increasing twofold. “And who the hell’s Uncle Sam?”
Changmin shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s just some guy mentioned in a pickup line I read.”
Jaejoong snorts and continues making breakfast for their lazy-ass leader and maknae.
“You were reading pickup lines?” Yunho raises a brow.
Changmin shrugs again. “Well, yeah.”
“… Why …?”
“Because I want to use them on someone?” Changmin looks at Yunho weirdly. “Duh?”
Junsu facepalms and stifles laughter. He helps Yoochun to his feet and they both shuffle to the kitchen.
“Okay, what the hell was that about,” Jaejoong mutters, concentrating on stirring the stew.
Junsu sighs. “It was either really awkward or Changmin’s way of getting laid with Leader-sshi.”
“I vote for really awkward.”
“Seconded.”
“You guys don’t even know, do you?” Yoochun smiles.
Jaejoong raises an eyebrow at his Soulmate but continues stirring. “Know what?”
“Changmin’s in looooovvve~”
Junsu shoves Yoochun playfully. “Grease.”
“I’m serious! Have you not notice the way he stares at Yunho hyung and practically mounts him on a pedestal?”
“Yeah, well, with the way he’s going, he’s gonna be mounting Yunho somewhere else,” Jaejoong smirks and Junsu blushes. Yoochun sniggers. “YAH, YUNJA! MINNIE-AH! BREAKFAST!”
“Holy mother of all that is good and pure, you didn’t have to shout,” Yoochun glares. Jaejoong elbows him on the stomach.
“Yay, food!” Changmin cheers as he skips into the kitchen. He takes a nearby bowl and gives it to Jaejoong, who ladles stew into it. He watches Changmin as he immediately goes to the dining table in the living room and stuffs himself. “Yah, Yunho,” Jaejoong calls. “Hurry up or die from hunger.”
“You’re the greatest friend ever, do you know that?” Yunho laughs and sits next to Changmin. “You’ll make a wonderful mother.”
“Damn straight,” Jaejoong mutters. “Do me a favor and get me a bowl.”
Yunho whines. “Why?”
“For your food. Now go.”
Yunho grumbles and ventures deeper into the kitchen in search for a clean bowl. Yoochun and Junsu take that opportunity to slink out of the kitchen like wonderful ninjas they are and sit either side of Changmin who jumps from the sudden appearances.
“Jesus Christ, hyungs!” Changmin clutches a hand to his heart, resisting the urge to fork them on the heads. “Don’t do that!”
“Changmin-ah, why were you saying those things to Yunho hyung?” Yoochun asks quietly so that Yunho wouldn’t hear.
“What kind of things?” Changmin asks absent-mindedly, eating another spoonful of stew.
“Those … really awkward ones,” Junsu grimaces.
Changmin swallows and flushes. “Oh. You mean the pickup lines.”
“YES. NOW DON’T DO THOSE THINGS AGAIN.”
“But -” Changmin slumps against his chair and leaves his spoon in his unfinished bowl. “I mean, what can you expect me to do? I’m in fucking love with that man! I wanted to confess for some time now, but I wasn’t sure how.”
“So you turn to these pickup lines?” Junsu asks, appalled.
Changmin shrugs once miserably. “I’m desperate for anything.”
“That’s just stupid!” Junsu whispers. “You know how much of an idiot that guy is! You can’t confuse him like that!”
“Then what the hell am I supposed to do?!”
“Junsu-yah, wait,” Yoochun cuts in, an idea forming in his mind, mostly due to the fact that he’s bored and in need of some entertainment in their day off. “Let’s just let Changmin continue using the pickup lines. I mean, Yunho hyung’s not that stupid. And besides, Changmin needs to find new ways to confess.”
“By making a total idiot of himself,” Junsu deadpans.
“Exactly,” Yoochun smiles and Changmin groans. “Listen, just do what you feel like doing now, okay? And Yunho hyung’ll respond if he reciprocates your feelings.”
Junsu wants to say something but then Yunho chooses that moment to exit the kitchen, bowl in one hand and staring at them in surprise.
“Hey, that’s my seat,” Yunho frowns like a child.
“Yeah, you can have it,” Yoochun stands up and Junsu follows suit. “Junsu and I were done talking to Changmin anyway.”
Yunho raises a brow and sits down, oblivious to the blush rising to Changmin’s cheeks. “About?”
“About -” Yoochun stomps on Junsu’s foot hard and Junsu chokes, “- lines.”
Yunho tilts his head in confusion. “Lines?”
“Freaking lines, man,” Yoochun plays along and hooks an arm around Junsu’s one, dragging him to the kitchen. Junsu elbows him where the sun doesn’t shine and Yoochun bites his lip hard so that he wouldn’t cry out in pain.
*
It’s Jaejoong’s turn to go into all of the members’ rooms and find every piece of dirty clothing so that he can toss them all into the laundry. Well, it’s not like he doesn’t do it everyday because someone - insert best friend here - doesn’t want to.
He goes to Junsu’s and Changmin’s shared room and is slightly surprised to see that it’s slightly ajar. He’s about to open the door when he hears Changmin muttering to himself from inside. He peeks through the crack and sees Changmin lying on his stomach on his bed, facing Bambi (that he supposes Changmin stole).
“How big is your sword, fish?” the youngest says to the stuffed deer, which does nothing but stare back. “You’re useless,” Changmin shoves the deer before fixing it to its original standing position.
Jaejoong wants to laugh at the stupidity of the pickup line. “You’re pathetic. And you know that Bambi’s a deer, right? A stuffed one, nonetheless,” he deadpans.
Changmin turns red and buries his face into the leader’s stuffed animal. “Shut up. I was just trying it out.”
Jaejoong laughs and fishes out a red shirt from under the bed. “Well, stop trying it out on a stuffed toy and try it out for real on Leader-sshi!”
“I will, I will,” Changmin whines. “Just … when I found the perfect pickup line.”
Jaejoong scoffs and leaves the room. “Not with the help of the stupid website, you’re not,” he mutters, heading to Yunho’s room.
He opens the door and is greeted with a panicked-looking Yunho and a blanket flung over his head. “I loathe you,” he says.
“Joongie-ah! Joongie-ah!” Even Yunho’s hands are panicky as they try to rip the blanket away from Jaejoong. “Have you seen Bambi? I know I put her here before I left to talk to Junsu!”
Jaejoong stares. “Yunho, you do know that Bambi’s a guy, right?”
“Where is she?” Yunho whimpers, turning everything he has in his room upside down. “Where’s my beautiful, doe-eyed daughter?”
Jaejoong isn’t used to being ignored, so he puts the laundry basket down and grabs Yunho. “Yunho, what is wrong with you? What’s so important about that toy?” Yunho whimpers and Jaejoong eyerolls. “Tell me.”
“… Okay, but you must promise not to laugh,” Yunho says in all seriousness.
Jaejoong shrugs. “Of course,” he says kindly.
“Um, I know that Bambi’s a guy,” Yunho says sheepishly.
Jaejoong gasps dramatically. “I knew it! I knew it! Yoochun told me that you were an idiot and that you didn’t know, but I stood my ground! There’s no way you would’ve gotten deaf while you watched Bambi online!”
Yunho blinks. “Wait, you knew about that?”
Jaejoong shrugs. “I’m your best friend.”
“Right.” Yunho sits down on the messy bed and Jaejoong follows suit. I’m gonna have a field day cleaning this mess up, he thinks before redirecting his attention to Yunho.
“I only acted as if Bambi’s a girl so that no fan, especially the sharp-eyed ones, can tell that Bambi’s only a stage name.”
Jaejoong deadpans. “What? You gave a freaking stage name to a stuffed toy? WHAT.”
Yunho hits him on the shoulder. “Listen! You know that Changmin’s supposed to be the lion in Balloons, right?”
Jaejoong shakes his head. “Now I do but go on.”
“Well, I kinda made the director change him to the deer. Because …”
Jaejoong’s jaw drops and he bolts from the bed. “So you’re telling me that you named this gender-confused animal after Changmin?!”
“Shh!” Yunho hurriedly closes the door, wondering why he didn’t do that earlier. “Not so loud!”
“Wait, so you called this thing Changmin, under the guise of Bambi and being your daughter?”
Yunho nods pitifully.
“Then … Oh, ew. Changmin’s using pickup lines on himself.”
“What’s that?” Yunho looks up at him.
“Nothing. Yoochun’s right. You really are an idiot.” Jaejoong picks up the laundry basket and turns to leave the room. “Oh, and pick up your own damn dirty clothes. No way in hell am I going to help clean up your room.”
“Worst. Best friend. Ever,” Yunho pouts and pathetically throws a sock at him.
“Damn straight,” Jaejoong winks before leaving the room.
*
Yoochun plucks off another grape from the bunch in the bowl and feeds himself, continuing to watch Changmin mope at the kitchen table, face down at the wood. He’s sure that if Changmin had been crying, there would not be a pretty reaction from Jaejoong and manager hyung.
“Come on, Changmin-ah,” Yoochun nudges Changmin’s still body. “Just man up and confess to Yunho already. I mean, as amusing as it is to see you make a huge fool out of yourself, pickup lines are still pickup lines. Stupid ones even.”
Changmin whines and lifts his red face from the surface, an effect from pressing it down for too long. He sniffs and is on the verge of crying out in frustration. “What if he rejects me?”
Yoochun stares at him with incredulity. “Are you fucking serious? Yunho hyung is not that stupid and I’m sure he understood every word you said. If he didn’t reject you when you used pickup lines on him, then he must either be A) stupider than I thought, B) really stupider than I thought or C) he likes you back.”
“But …” Changmin sniffs again. “Yunho hyung isn’t stupid.”
Yoochun wants to hit Changmin’s head with the bunch of grapes. “Exactly! So he likes you back!”
“But …” Changmin says again and Yoochun wants to groan. “What if he doesn’t like me back?”
Junsu’s on his way to the kitchen and hears a sound between a scream and a howl and he can make out the words “SMITE ME WHERE I STAND OR SIT IN THIS CASE” just before he turns the corner.
He backs away slowly and pretends that he doesn’t want to get any water.
*
Yoochun manages to convince Changmin (hit him on the head with grapes) to confess to Yunho properly. Clearing his throat and taking a deep breath, Changmin waddles awkwardly to the living room, where Yunho is sitting on the couch and reading a magazine and wearing - God forbid - glasses.
His legs are also crossed and Changmin notices how the position accentuates his long legs.
He clears his throat again and Yunho looks up from the magazine, smiling when he spots Changmin. “Oh, hi, Minnie. Do you need something?”
You, Changmin thinks before taking another deep breath. He sits beside Yunho and the leader puts his magazine down. He also takes off his glasses and Changmin wants to permanently glue them on his face because they make him look adorable and sexy.
“Yunho hyung, I need to tell you something.”
Yunho cocks his head to the left in confusion but continues smiling. “Okay, sure, what is it?”
I like you. No wait, I love you. I need you and I want you to be by my side forever. You’re the reason why I live every day with a smile on my face. You’re the person I want to hold in my arms instead of some random girl or even one of our labelmates, I don’t know. Just … please, let me be with you. I’ll make you so happy and I’ll never let a single tear of not-happiness run down your handsome face.
Changmin practiced saying that to Yoochun before and the guy had actually teared up and hugged Changmin. He’s ready to say it, really, but when he opened his mouth, all that got out is -
“It’s my duty to please that booty.”
Yunho’s smile drops and his whole body turns red. “E-excuse me?!”
Changmin twitches when he realizes what had left his mouth. “I - I mean -”
He hears a slap resounding somewhere in the room and he figures that it’s Yoochun slapping his forehead in disbelief. Sure enough, when he looks behind Yunho, the horrified expressions of his bandmates stare at him.
“What the fuck are you thinking?!” Yoochun mouths.
Changmin shrugs in panic and mouths back, “I panicked!”
“That’s not panicking! That’s being extremely awkward!” Jaejoong whines, not bothering to keep his voice low.
Yunho turns around and is surprised to see his best friends watching them. “Wha - JaeJae? You were here the whole time?”
Jaejoong shrugs. “Best friends are also guardian angels.”
Changmin tries again and touches Yunho’s shoulder, successful in diverting the elder’s attention back to him. “No, wait, that was stupid. I panicked and I should’ve said something properly a long time ago.”
“Um …” Yunho shifts on the couch. “Okay? What is it?”
Changmin hears a whispered “fighting!” from Junsu and it boosts his confidence a little.
“Yunho hyung, I love you,” he says in a forced voice, and Yunho seems to freeze. “I want … to be with you forever and ever. I need you. You’re the best thing that had happened in my life. When I first saw you, I instantly knew that … you were the one.”
He looks up and is pleasantly surprised to see Yunho’s face tinged with pink. Courage overtaking his system, he looks at Yunho straight in the eye. “I begin my mornings thinking of ways to have fun with you, and end my nights wondering if you had a nice day. Whenever I wake up, I always look forward to spending time with you and just … be happy.”
Bottom lip trembling, Changmin lifts a hand and rests it against Yunho’s cheek, marveling inwardly at how soft and unblemished it is. “Jung Yunho, I love you.”
Yunho looks back into Changmin’s eyes, his own ones tearing up at the declaration. He smiles and gently takes hold of Changmin’s hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing the knuckles. “I love you too, Shim Changmin.”
Changmin feels as if his heart is exploding and a huge weight is being lifted from his shoulders. He laughs at the sheer relief rushing through his veins and, without thinking, grabs Yunho’s face and kisses him on the lips.
“Oh my God,” Junsu says in shock.
“They’re kissing!” Yoochun squeals.
“Oh, ew, I didn’t join this spying thing so I can see the dad and kid get it on!” Jaejoong groans in horror.
Yunho breaks the kiss and Changmin whines. Yunho ignores him momentarily and shoots Jaejoong a look of confusion. “Dad and kid? Who’re they?”
“You and Changmin.”
Changmin has a look of revolt on his face. “Then who’s the mom?”
Jaejoong lifts an eyebrow threateningly. “Who else?”
Yunho shudders. “Ugh, what are fans thinking of nowadays? Me and Jaejoong? Ew, I will never stoop that low.”
Jaejoong looks insulted and stomps over to hit Yunho’s head. “Hey! I am very appealing at a number of levels, okay? In fact, most of the fans are Jaejoong-biased.”
“They must’ve been dropped on the heads as babies then,” Changmin mutters, rolling his eyes. Jaejoong snatched up the magazine and slaps Changmin’s head with it before throwing it back to the couch and stalking away.
“MY DONGSAENGS ARE INGRATES. INGRATES!” he screams into the heavens and slams the door to his room closed.
Changmin snorts. Yunho smiles and shakes his head.
Junsu giggles and ruffles Changmin’s hair. “Well, I may be the second youngest, but I say that you’re not an ingrate. Just really pretentious. Have fun being in love, you two!” He skips off to the room he shares with Changmin.
“You finally manned up and confessed in an actually way,” Yoochun sniffs. He pulls Changmin into a hug and leaves for his room just like that, leaving behind an awkward atmosphere.
Changmin looks at Yunho and jumps back a bit when he sees dark lust clouding his eyes. “What are you thinking?” he asks, slightly scared.
“I don’t know,” Yunho purrs, scooting closer to Changmin. “What are you thinking?”
Changmin gets nervous because seeing Yunho horny is kind of a turn on, but then again he did change from sweet to seductive in a matter of seconds. Fuck being the master of watching porn - this is going to be the real deal.
“Your room?” he offers.
“Deal,” Yunho says immediately, scrambling to his feet and going to his room. Changmin laughs to himself and is about to stand up when he spots the glasses lying forgotten on the coffee table. He picks them up and goes after Yunho, carefully pocketing them.
After all, Yunho looks adorable and sexy with them on.
Part 2
Pairing: HoMin
Summary: Changmin confesses to Yunho in the most confusing (and cheesiest) ways.
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Humor, Smut
Disclaimer: TVXQ are the Kings - we belong to them. Trolol.
A/N: Okay, so this if my first ever HoMin. And it’s a oneshot that became a twoshot (but originally a oneshot).
And it’s also smut. What. Oh, and there’s top!Min. And the pickup lines make me want to tear my hair out xD
*
“Hyung, if you weren’t a figment of my imagination, I’d want to have your babies.”
The silence that follows is oddly unnerving.
Yunho’s staring up at Changmin, Jaejoong is wondering what the hell occurred in his mind for him to say that, Yoochun wants to laugh and Junsu facepalms and wants to die all over the place.
“Excuse me?” Yunho says, voice strained.
Changmin clears his throat and tries another line. “I’m changing my name to Uncle Sam, because I want you.”
This time, Yoochun really does laugh. He rolls on the floor and the others stare at him because he’s the only one who really gets it.
“Wait, you want me?” Yunho asks, confusion increasing twofold. “And who the hell’s Uncle Sam?”
Changmin shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s just some guy mentioned in a pickup line I read.”
Jaejoong snorts and continues making breakfast for their lazy-ass leader and maknae.
“You were reading pickup lines?” Yunho raises a brow.
Changmin shrugs again. “Well, yeah.”
“… Why …?”
“Because I want to use them on someone?” Changmin looks at Yunho weirdly. “Duh?”
Junsu facepalms and stifles laughter. He helps Yoochun to his feet and they both shuffle to the kitchen.
“Okay, what the hell was that about,” Jaejoong mutters, concentrating on stirring the stew.
Junsu sighs. “It was either really awkward or Changmin’s way of getting laid with Leader-sshi.”
“I vote for really awkward.”
“Seconded.”
“You guys don’t even know, do you?” Yoochun smiles.
Jaejoong raises an eyebrow at his Soulmate but continues stirring. “Know what?”
“Changmin’s in looooovvve~”
Junsu shoves Yoochun playfully. “Grease.”
“I’m serious! Have you not notice the way he stares at Yunho hyung and practically mounts him on a pedestal?”
“Yeah, well, with the way he’s going, he’s gonna be mounting Yunho somewhere else,” Jaejoong smirks and Junsu blushes. Yoochun sniggers. “YAH, YUNJA! MINNIE-AH! BREAKFAST!”
“Holy mother of all that is good and pure, you didn’t have to shout,” Yoochun glares. Jaejoong elbows him on the stomach.
“Yay, food!” Changmin cheers as he skips into the kitchen. He takes a nearby bowl and gives it to Jaejoong, who ladles stew into it. He watches Changmin as he immediately goes to the dining table in the living room and stuffs himself. “Yah, Yunho,” Jaejoong calls. “Hurry up or die from hunger.”
“You’re the greatest friend ever, do you know that?” Yunho laughs and sits next to Changmin. “You’ll make a wonderful mother.”
“Damn straight,” Jaejoong mutters. “Do me a favor and get me a bowl.”
Yunho whines. “Why?”
“For your food. Now go.”
Yunho grumbles and ventures deeper into the kitchen in search for a clean bowl. Yoochun and Junsu take that opportunity to slink out of the kitchen like wonderful ninjas they are and sit either side of Changmin who jumps from the sudden appearances.
“Jesus Christ, hyungs!” Changmin clutches a hand to his heart, resisting the urge to fork them on the heads. “Don’t do that!”
“Changmin-ah, why were you saying those things to Yunho hyung?” Yoochun asks quietly so that Yunho wouldn’t hear.
“What kind of things?” Changmin asks absent-mindedly, eating another spoonful of stew.
“Those … really awkward ones,” Junsu grimaces.
Changmin swallows and flushes. “Oh. You mean the pickup lines.”
“YES. NOW DON’T DO THOSE THINGS AGAIN.”
“But -” Changmin slumps against his chair and leaves his spoon in his unfinished bowl. “I mean, what can you expect me to do? I’m in fucking love with that man! I wanted to confess for some time now, but I wasn’t sure how.”
“So you turn to these pickup lines?” Junsu asks, appalled.
Changmin shrugs once miserably. “I’m desperate for anything.”
“That’s just stupid!” Junsu whispers. “You know how much of an idiot that guy is! You can’t confuse him like that!”
“Then what the hell am I supposed to do?!”
“Junsu-yah, wait,” Yoochun cuts in, an idea forming in his mind, mostly due to the fact that he’s bored and in need of some entertainment in their day off. “Let’s just let Changmin continue using the pickup lines. I mean, Yunho hyung’s not that stupid. And besides, Changmin needs to find new ways to confess.”
“By making a total idiot of himself,” Junsu deadpans.
“Exactly,” Yoochun smiles and Changmin groans. “Listen, just do what you feel like doing now, okay? And Yunho hyung’ll respond if he reciprocates your feelings.”
Junsu wants to say something but then Yunho chooses that moment to exit the kitchen, bowl in one hand and staring at them in surprise.
“Hey, that’s my seat,” Yunho frowns like a child.
“Yeah, you can have it,” Yoochun stands up and Junsu follows suit. “Junsu and I were done talking to Changmin anyway.”
Yunho raises a brow and sits down, oblivious to the blush rising to Changmin’s cheeks. “About?”
“About -” Yoochun stomps on Junsu’s foot hard and Junsu chokes, “- lines.”
Yunho tilts his head in confusion. “Lines?”
“Freaking lines, man,” Yoochun plays along and hooks an arm around Junsu’s one, dragging him to the kitchen. Junsu elbows him where the sun doesn’t shine and Yoochun bites his lip hard so that he wouldn’t cry out in pain.
*
It’s Jaejoong’s turn to go into all of the members’ rooms and find every piece of dirty clothing so that he can toss them all into the laundry. Well, it’s not like he doesn’t do it everyday because someone - insert best friend here - doesn’t want to.
He goes to Junsu’s and Changmin’s shared room and is slightly surprised to see that it’s slightly ajar. He’s about to open the door when he hears Changmin muttering to himself from inside. He peeks through the crack and sees Changmin lying on his stomach on his bed, facing Bambi (that he supposes Changmin stole).
“How big is your sword, fish?” the youngest says to the stuffed deer, which does nothing but stare back. “You’re useless,” Changmin shoves the deer before fixing it to its original standing position.
Jaejoong wants to laugh at the stupidity of the pickup line. “You’re pathetic. And you know that Bambi’s a deer, right? A stuffed one, nonetheless,” he deadpans.
Changmin turns red and buries his face into the leader’s stuffed animal. “Shut up. I was just trying it out.”
Jaejoong laughs and fishes out a red shirt from under the bed. “Well, stop trying it out on a stuffed toy and try it out for real on Leader-sshi!”
“I will, I will,” Changmin whines. “Just … when I found the perfect pickup line.”
Jaejoong scoffs and leaves the room. “Not with the help of the stupid website, you’re not,” he mutters, heading to Yunho’s room.
He opens the door and is greeted with a panicked-looking Yunho and a blanket flung over his head. “I loathe you,” he says.
“Joongie-ah! Joongie-ah!” Even Yunho’s hands are panicky as they try to rip the blanket away from Jaejoong. “Have you seen Bambi? I know I put her here before I left to talk to Junsu!”
Jaejoong stares. “Yunho, you do know that Bambi’s a guy, right?”
“Where is she?” Yunho whimpers, turning everything he has in his room upside down. “Where’s my beautiful, doe-eyed daughter?”
Jaejoong isn’t used to being ignored, so he puts the laundry basket down and grabs Yunho. “Yunho, what is wrong with you? What’s so important about that toy?” Yunho whimpers and Jaejoong eyerolls. “Tell me.”
“… Okay, but you must promise not to laugh,” Yunho says in all seriousness.
Jaejoong shrugs. “Of course,” he says kindly.
“Um, I know that Bambi’s a guy,” Yunho says sheepishly.
Jaejoong gasps dramatically. “I knew it! I knew it! Yoochun told me that you were an idiot and that you didn’t know, but I stood my ground! There’s no way you would’ve gotten deaf while you watched Bambi online!”
Yunho blinks. “Wait, you knew about that?”
Jaejoong shrugs. “I’m your best friend.”
“Right.” Yunho sits down on the messy bed and Jaejoong follows suit. I’m gonna have a field day cleaning this mess up, he thinks before redirecting his attention to Yunho.
“I only acted as if Bambi’s a girl so that no fan, especially the sharp-eyed ones, can tell that Bambi’s only a stage name.”
Jaejoong deadpans. “What? You gave a freaking stage name to a stuffed toy? WHAT.”
Yunho hits him on the shoulder. “Listen! You know that Changmin’s supposed to be the lion in Balloons, right?”
Jaejoong shakes his head. “Now I do but go on.”
“Well, I kinda made the director change him to the deer. Because …”
Jaejoong’s jaw drops and he bolts from the bed. “So you’re telling me that you named this gender-confused animal after Changmin?!”
“Shh!” Yunho hurriedly closes the door, wondering why he didn’t do that earlier. “Not so loud!”
“Wait, so you called this thing Changmin, under the guise of Bambi and being your daughter?”
Yunho nods pitifully.
“Then … Oh, ew. Changmin’s using pickup lines on himself.”
“What’s that?” Yunho looks up at him.
“Nothing. Yoochun’s right. You really are an idiot.” Jaejoong picks up the laundry basket and turns to leave the room. “Oh, and pick up your own damn dirty clothes. No way in hell am I going to help clean up your room.”
“Worst. Best friend. Ever,” Yunho pouts and pathetically throws a sock at him.
“Damn straight,” Jaejoong winks before leaving the room.
*
Yoochun plucks off another grape from the bunch in the bowl and feeds himself, continuing to watch Changmin mope at the kitchen table, face down at the wood. He’s sure that if Changmin had been crying, there would not be a pretty reaction from Jaejoong and manager hyung.
“Come on, Changmin-ah,” Yoochun nudges Changmin’s still body. “Just man up and confess to Yunho already. I mean, as amusing as it is to see you make a huge fool out of yourself, pickup lines are still pickup lines. Stupid ones even.”
Changmin whines and lifts his red face from the surface, an effect from pressing it down for too long. He sniffs and is on the verge of crying out in frustration. “What if he rejects me?”
Yoochun stares at him with incredulity. “Are you fucking serious? Yunho hyung is not that stupid and I’m sure he understood every word you said. If he didn’t reject you when you used pickup lines on him, then he must either be A) stupider than I thought, B) really stupider than I thought or C) he likes you back.”
“But …” Changmin sniffs again. “Yunho hyung isn’t stupid.”
Yoochun wants to hit Changmin’s head with the bunch of grapes. “Exactly! So he likes you back!”
“But …” Changmin says again and Yoochun wants to groan. “What if he doesn’t like me back?”
Junsu’s on his way to the kitchen and hears a sound between a scream and a howl and he can make out the words “SMITE ME WHERE I STAND OR SIT IN THIS CASE” just before he turns the corner.
He backs away slowly and pretends that he doesn’t want to get any water.
*
Yoochun manages to convince Changmin (hit him on the head with grapes) to confess to Yunho properly. Clearing his throat and taking a deep breath, Changmin waddles awkwardly to the living room, where Yunho is sitting on the couch and reading a magazine and wearing - God forbid - glasses.
His legs are also crossed and Changmin notices how the position accentuates his long legs.
He clears his throat again and Yunho looks up from the magazine, smiling when he spots Changmin. “Oh, hi, Minnie. Do you need something?”
You, Changmin thinks before taking another deep breath. He sits beside Yunho and the leader puts his magazine down. He also takes off his glasses and Changmin wants to permanently glue them on his face because they make him look adorable and sexy.
“Yunho hyung, I need to tell you something.”
Yunho cocks his head to the left in confusion but continues smiling. “Okay, sure, what is it?”
I like you. No wait, I love you. I need you and I want you to be by my side forever. You’re the reason why I live every day with a smile on my face. You’re the person I want to hold in my arms instead of some random girl or even one of our labelmates, I don’t know. Just … please, let me be with you. I’ll make you so happy and I’ll never let a single tear of not-happiness run down your handsome face.
Changmin practiced saying that to Yoochun before and the guy had actually teared up and hugged Changmin. He’s ready to say it, really, but when he opened his mouth, all that got out is -
“It’s my duty to please that booty.”
Yunho’s smile drops and his whole body turns red. “E-excuse me?!”
Changmin twitches when he realizes what had left his mouth. “I - I mean -”
He hears a slap resounding somewhere in the room and he figures that it’s Yoochun slapping his forehead in disbelief. Sure enough, when he looks behind Yunho, the horrified expressions of his bandmates stare at him.
“What the fuck are you thinking?!” Yoochun mouths.
Changmin shrugs in panic and mouths back, “I panicked!”
“That’s not panicking! That’s being extremely awkward!” Jaejoong whines, not bothering to keep his voice low.
Yunho turns around and is surprised to see his best friends watching them. “Wha - JaeJae? You were here the whole time?”
Jaejoong shrugs. “Best friends are also guardian angels.”
Changmin tries again and touches Yunho’s shoulder, successful in diverting the elder’s attention back to him. “No, wait, that was stupid. I panicked and I should’ve said something properly a long time ago.”
“Um …” Yunho shifts on the couch. “Okay? What is it?”
Changmin hears a whispered “fighting!” from Junsu and it boosts his confidence a little.
“Yunho hyung, I love you,” he says in a forced voice, and Yunho seems to freeze. “I want … to be with you forever and ever. I need you. You’re the best thing that had happened in my life. When I first saw you, I instantly knew that … you were the one.”
He looks up and is pleasantly surprised to see Yunho’s face tinged with pink. Courage overtaking his system, he looks at Yunho straight in the eye. “I begin my mornings thinking of ways to have fun with you, and end my nights wondering if you had a nice day. Whenever I wake up, I always look forward to spending time with you and just … be happy.”
Bottom lip trembling, Changmin lifts a hand and rests it against Yunho’s cheek, marveling inwardly at how soft and unblemished it is. “Jung Yunho, I love you.”
Yunho looks back into Changmin’s eyes, his own ones tearing up at the declaration. He smiles and gently takes hold of Changmin’s hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing the knuckles. “I love you too, Shim Changmin.”
Changmin feels as if his heart is exploding and a huge weight is being lifted from his shoulders. He laughs at the sheer relief rushing through his veins and, without thinking, grabs Yunho’s face and kisses him on the lips.
“Oh my God,” Junsu says in shock.
“They’re kissing!” Yoochun squeals.
“Oh, ew, I didn’t join this spying thing so I can see the dad and kid get it on!” Jaejoong groans in horror.
Yunho breaks the kiss and Changmin whines. Yunho ignores him momentarily and shoots Jaejoong a look of confusion. “Dad and kid? Who’re they?”
“You and Changmin.”
Changmin has a look of revolt on his face. “Then who’s the mom?”
Jaejoong lifts an eyebrow threateningly. “Who else?”
Yunho shudders. “Ugh, what are fans thinking of nowadays? Me and Jaejoong? Ew, I will never stoop that low.”
Jaejoong looks insulted and stomps over to hit Yunho’s head. “Hey! I am very appealing at a number of levels, okay? In fact, most of the fans are Jaejoong-biased.”
“They must’ve been dropped on the heads as babies then,” Changmin mutters, rolling his eyes. Jaejoong snatched up the magazine and slaps Changmin’s head with it before throwing it back to the couch and stalking away.
“MY DONGSAENGS ARE INGRATES. INGRATES!” he screams into the heavens and slams the door to his room closed.
Changmin snorts. Yunho smiles and shakes his head.
Junsu giggles and ruffles Changmin’s hair. “Well, I may be the second youngest, but I say that you’re not an ingrate. Just really pretentious. Have fun being in love, you two!” He skips off to the room he shares with Changmin.
“You finally manned up and confessed in an actually way,” Yoochun sniffs. He pulls Changmin into a hug and leaves for his room just like that, leaving behind an awkward atmosphere.
Changmin looks at Yunho and jumps back a bit when he sees dark lust clouding his eyes. “What are you thinking?” he asks, slightly scared.
“I don’t know,” Yunho purrs, scooting closer to Changmin. “What are you thinking?”
Changmin gets nervous because seeing Yunho horny is kind of a turn on, but then again he did change from sweet to seductive in a matter of seconds. Fuck being the master of watching porn - this is going to be the real deal.
“Your room?” he offers.
“Deal,” Yunho says immediately, scrambling to his feet and going to his room. Changmin laughs to himself and is about to stand up when he spots the glasses lying forgotten on the coffee table. He picks them up and goes after Yunho, carefully pocketing them.
After all, Yunho looks adorable and sexy with them on.
Part 2