Italia!
I don't think I ever could have imagined things changing so drastically for me here. It's subtle, but I feel myself morphing. I view things differently. I am more independent. I care less for work and grades and more for life and fun. Half of me says "I'm already twenty" and the other says "I'm only twenty". I'm caught but I'm free. I am, indeed, a walking contradiction, but aren't we all? I find myself excited and petrified about my future. and other times I don't care at all. I am terrified of losing the best friend I have ever had. And that fear causes the death grip that is making him slip away. I see it happening and I can not stop it. I have no self control. But all I know is that I would be happy. I can always be happy.
The other day I was in a church and had the sudden urge to pray. I haven't prayed. ever. And I found myself asking god or whatever energy that is up there, to please help me choose happiness. Because it is a choice. I have never seen it as a choice. I used to be dragged around by emotion, sulking for hours or snapping at people for no reason. I hope I have the strength to change.
Italy is agreeing with me. I eat my anything and everything I want and haven't gained much weight at all. The walking is refreshing. I am outside a lot of the time. The light makes everything beautiful here. I have yet to have a truly bad bottle of wine, only ones I don't particularly enjoy. The language is beautiful rolling around in everyone's mouths. I wonder what home will seem like. Americans here keep saying what they miss about America but I think what I will miss about Italy. I am so glad I did this.
The other day I was in a church and had the sudden urge to pray. I haven't prayed. ever. And I found myself asking god or whatever energy that is up there, to please help me choose happiness. Because it is a choice. I have never seen it as a choice. I used to be dragged around by emotion, sulking for hours or snapping at people for no reason. I hope I have the strength to change.
Italy is agreeing with me. I eat my anything and everything I want and haven't gained much weight at all. The walking is refreshing. I am outside a lot of the time. The light makes everything beautiful here. I have yet to have a truly bad bottle of wine, only ones I don't particularly enjoy. The language is beautiful rolling around in everyone's mouths. I wonder what home will seem like. Americans here keep saying what they miss about America but I think what I will miss about Italy. I am so glad I did this.