a reminder
Deaths been closer to me today than usual. It occured continents away but death does not know distances. Hovering over my shoulder as a reminder to do what I want to now. Maybe we can take a message from plants, dying each winter but reminding us each summer that they come back.
I'm so sad today, I hadn't eaten and cried hysterically for a while. Now that I've eaten though I feel like the sadness has moved to my intestine, soon to be excreted. I hope I can live better.
Better? Be good to people, make them laugh and sing and comfortable. All that anger staying in your heart will give you heart problems, they run in my family and I can see them. I don't want to be angry anymore. I want to laugh and sing and appreciate both always. What gives me pleasure? My answer to that has always been nostolgia. But thinking of something more concrete. Writing. Playing guitar. Singing. Love. Sex. Music. Guitar picking. Tears? Pretty eyes. Cute boys. Finnigin. Food. Baking. Politics. Science Fiction. Cells. Elements. The forest. Lying down. Sleeping. Cuddling. Dancing. Cursing. Friends. Hitch hiking. Sunrise. Gabriola Island. Oceans. Swimming. Diving. Open mics. Gabriola Island. In less than a month. New friends. Class.
Things that make me happy seem to sometimes scare me too. Some of them. Some of them I force myself to do and love once I do. I wonder why its like that?
Good friends really do it for me though. Having a good time with good friends and good food and good music and good conversation and laughing and sometimes singing.
Love
I'm so sad today, I hadn't eaten and cried hysterically for a while. Now that I've eaten though I feel like the sadness has moved to my intestine, soon to be excreted. I hope I can live better.
Better? Be good to people, make them laugh and sing and comfortable. All that anger staying in your heart will give you heart problems, they run in my family and I can see them. I don't want to be angry anymore. I want to laugh and sing and appreciate both always. What gives me pleasure? My answer to that has always been nostolgia. But thinking of something more concrete. Writing. Playing guitar. Singing. Love. Sex. Music. Guitar picking. Tears? Pretty eyes. Cute boys. Finnigin. Food. Baking. Politics. Science Fiction. Cells. Elements. The forest. Lying down. Sleeping. Cuddling. Dancing. Cursing. Friends. Hitch hiking. Sunrise. Gabriola Island. Oceans. Swimming. Diving. Open mics. Gabriola Island. In less than a month. New friends. Class.
Things that make me happy seem to sometimes scare me too. Some of them. Some of them I force myself to do and love once I do. I wonder why its like that?
Good friends really do it for me though. Having a good time with good friends and good food and good music and good conversation and laughing and sometimes singing.
Love