thinking....
At Jims.....thinking.....I think Im gonna swop over to vid blogging....I dont write very well as u can tell from the last 4 years of my nonsense.
How awful is it to cry in front of your bf and then tell urself to stop doing it but you cant stop.
How awful is it when things come back to haunt you. Things that you have supressed so deep within you that it gives you the fake sense that it never even happened in the first place.
I still miss u Anna.
And I still blame myself everyday for what happened.
I miss u Matty.
I blame myself for not being a good enough friend/lover for you to confide in.
I wish you would stay out of mu life Michael.
I dont feel anything for you at all. I was over u in 2 weeks.
I blame myself for letting you walk all over me and treating me like I was nothing to be loved. Men like you are abusers and should be shot.
I love you Jim.
Everything about u.
U love me so much and it shows. U never say a bad word about e and your always complimenting me. The way you hold me close when I cry or when I sleep. You spoil me so much and yet deny that you do. Your amazing to me.
Im so scared of losing you.
Everyone I love goes away.
I miss you Tata.
Everyday.
You're irreplacable. Sometimes I blame God for taking you away with out letting me say goodbye properly.
But how can one say goodbye properly?
Im scared at them moment. I dont know why. Perhaps its the stress of school. Perhaps its me always being paranoid over little things.....
I dont know.
Stay alove and kicking people.
How awful is it to cry in front of your bf and then tell urself to stop doing it but you cant stop.
How awful is it when things come back to haunt you. Things that you have supressed so deep within you that it gives you the fake sense that it never even happened in the first place.
I still miss u Anna.
And I still blame myself everyday for what happened.
I miss u Matty.
I blame myself for not being a good enough friend/lover for you to confide in.
I wish you would stay out of mu life Michael.
I dont feel anything for you at all. I was over u in 2 weeks.
I blame myself for letting you walk all over me and treating me like I was nothing to be loved. Men like you are abusers and should be shot.
I love you Jim.
Everything about u.
U love me so much and it shows. U never say a bad word about e and your always complimenting me. The way you hold me close when I cry or when I sleep. You spoil me so much and yet deny that you do. Your amazing to me.
Im so scared of losing you.
Everyone I love goes away.
I miss you Tata.
Everyday.
You're irreplacable. Sometimes I blame God for taking you away with out letting me say goodbye properly.
But how can one say goodbye properly?
Im scared at them moment. I dont know why. Perhaps its the stress of school. Perhaps its me always being paranoid over little things.....
I dont know.
Stay alove and kicking people.