(no subject)
lukes been living with me for about a month now. it's so weird to see his things scattered amongst mine, and to come home from work and find him in my bed. he left for woodword and i'm watching his cat for a week. shes a fucking cunt and when she stares at you i swear she can see everything in you.
i went upstate last weekend, which was so amazing and much needed to get out of ny. we went cliff jumping and luke dove right in...60 ft up and he wasn't scared for a second. i really wasn't happy to come back here...i needed more than a few days out of this place,so i just bought my first own plane ticket to indiana for a few weeks.
last night luke said to me"i wish i met you when we were older"
life's so nuts sometimes. i'm only 20 and all i want is a family and lots of babies and dogs in the yard.
lately i've justt been working every single day, cooking real meals every night like porkchops or steak and alot of other shit, going out SOMETIMES...i've been sort of m.i.a....is it bad i sort of enjoy it? i just need space from people i guess...i'm so tired of ny and dumb people
i'm almost done with the book i'm reading...it's so fucking good and about the lost boys of sudan and the memoir of one the boys who fled from there to kenya and various other locations, and finally ended up in america. i need new suggestions for what to read next ANY IDEAS?
sometimes it baffles me how somone could leave their 3 day old child, and never turn back. how can you live never knowing anything about your child, and vis versa. maybe my parents aren't even alive
"We thought we were young
and that there would be time to love well in the future.
that is a terrible way to think....
it is no way to live,
to wait to love."
