My So-Called Covid Life
I really hate to admit that this is the most relaxed, happy, and comfortable I've been in years. I am not joking. I am sorry.
After a particularly busy start to the holiday season after Thanksgiving, I told one of my bosses "Dude, I can't do this anymore. If I don't quit, or take a sabbatical, I'm gonna lose it." His chill demeanor was enough to get me through the rest of the shift, but he was right there with me.
He was so with me, that I came into work early January to the news that he had put in his time and I was like WHAT THE FUCK YOU STOLE MY THUNDER YOU SONOFABITCH. But that was also the straw that broke this camel's back, so I also put in my last day, and had what is probably the worst month of attendance in my entire career. What a way to go!
Flash through packing scenes, a relationship on it's death bed, a week in New York, a couple of hotels, a Uhaul/unpacking scene, and here we are. Right? Welcome to Coronatime.
I'm finishing books. I'm finishing audiobooks. I have been cooking more than I have in years. I'm juicing carrots. I'm drinking tea everyday. I'VE STARTED EXERCISING. I understand that this is probably the honeymoon period behavior for the rest of the world in quarantine, but I've been waiting for this lax, no responsibilities bullshit for way too long. And since I'm safe, and I have a place to live, and there is food, I am not stressing.
The big confusion over everything is why people are freaking out and treating this like it's a natural disaster. I get that it's in our nature to freak out at the possibility of our own morality, but WHAT'S WITH ALL THE TP MAN. Huge mystery. Every kind of staple food is out of stock. But there's tons of chips. And cookies. Which I'm grateful for, because any amount of stress snacking that's going to happen is gonna be on those things.
And since I can't figure out what else to ramble about at the moment, here are some weird things I've made since the pandemic broke:
1. Dos Leches cake- Betty Crocker yellow cake mix, condensed milk, and almond milk. I was in the mood for something sweet, and we lacked one leche. Aside from some dry spots where the liquid didn't penetrate right (tee hee), it tasted really fucking good.
2. Savory Carrot Pulp Biscuits- In my head, I wanted crackers. What I got, was more like a human dog treat. Onion powder, garlic powder, dill, flour, and bunch of carrot pulp. I went kind of solo on this one and couldn't figure out a proper flour ratio, so after attempting to roll everything out with a Hyrdoflask bottle and having orange mash stuck on EVERYTHING, I just plopped them on the sheet and hoped for the best. I will probably try and do these again, maybe focused in more of a savory drop biscuit route, with things like butter and baking powder in it.
3. Carrot Pulp Muffins- This was a recipe I followed. And they came out super moist, not too sweet, and I finally had some kind of carroty baked good that DIDN'T HAVE ANY KIND OF WALNUTS IN IT. FUCK WALNUTS FOREVER.
4. Apple Pie Chia Pudding- This is a lazy victory. I made a chia pudding recipe from ToneItUp (what I always like to call the "white girl exercises" but then I do them anyway and follow their food tips, so who am I to judge) and then added some pumpkin pie spice and half a chopped honeycrisp apple. It's fuckin' good, y'all.
5. Yellow Curry Chicken Soup- Holy shit. This was such a fuck up when I started. Technically, my sister started it by boiling a bone-in chicken breast in some broth, and proclaiming "Okay! Make some soup!" and I'm like BUH? I rarely, if ever, cook raw meat. Or with meat in general. So for some reason, instead of just taking some vegan soup recipe I already knew and throw a chicken in it, I decided to get saucy with things, and make some kind of nourishing chicken soup. After adding in turmeric, garlic, and ginger powder I realized coconut milk would be nice. Then more broth. Then cabbage. Then carrots. Then black beans? And corn? What the fuck. Okay, uhhh..... uh...shit. Oh man, this soup is flat. Now what. Fuck. Uh... It was time to outsource. I called forth the food friend (one of the many hats he wears as a friend, although I can't say I've ever really seen him ever wear a hat in my life, but whatever), described the soup, and landed on adding curry powder. CURRY POWDER! That's what tied the whole thing together, thank god, because we ended up with like, 15 cups of soup. I even dumped in some of that Costco Normandy Blend to get some more cruciferous shit in there. If you are interested in this concoction, I froze some, so lemme know. We can have a soup date when this is all over.